| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-04-01 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-04-01 |
| Image Number: |
182450 |
| Caption: |
How many plagues have changed the course of history, Tyrone? All of them. For when a plague kills even on person, it also kills the entire timeline that person's future actions would have influenced. It's ok to say I don’t know, Tyrone. Were it not for the plague of Athens in 430 B.C., we would not now be discussing the plague of Athens.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-04-01) |
Image #182450 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-03-27 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-03-27 |
| Image Number: |
182348 |
| Caption: |
Hi Momma, How are you doing? I'm fine, baby. How are you? How's my grandbaby? Tap tap tap t - tap tap t - We're worried about you. You're old and you have diabetes and a heart condition. You're exactly the demographic who's dying from Coronavirus. Yeah, you're social-distancing, but what if you already have it and ... Delete delete delete. We're ok too.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-03-27) |
Image #182348 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-01-25 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-01-25 |
| Image Number: |
181369 |
| Caption: |
Are you sure you want to watch the premiere episode of Star Trek: Picard again? You've already seen it 24 times in the past 24 hours. Perhaps you should go for a walk, feel the warm breeze, bask in the sun … talk to other people … or maybe just take a shower ... never should've bought a smart tv. Remaining sedentary can cause high blood pressure, deep vein thrombosis, death ...
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-01-25) |
Image #181369 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-01-24 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-01-24 |
| Image Number: |
181368 |
| Caption: |
Are you sure you want to watch the premiere episode of Star Trek: Picard again? You've already seen it 24 times in the past 24 hours. Perhaps you should go for a walk, feel the warm breeze, bask in the sun … talk to other people … or maybe just take a shower ... never should've bought a smart tv. Remaining sedentary can cause high blood pressure, deep vein thrombosis, death ...
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-01-24) |
Image #181368 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-01-03 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-01-03 |
| Image Number: |
181019 |
| Caption: |
What's your problem, Big L? I forgot to make a new year's resolution, man. I've made a resolution every year of my life. And my whole life, all my new year's resolutions have always come true. Do you have any idea what this mean? That nothing at all gonna happen to you this year? Exactly. And you know what that means? It mean that superstition be a dangerous thing? I'm too young ish to die!
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-01-03) |
Image #181019 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-12-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-12-05 |
| Image Number: |
180644 |
| Caption: |
Hello? Hi. Do you repair new old computers? What? Well … My beloved old iMac G4 dies years ago. So I bought a new iMac and paid a kid to tear out its guts and shove them into my old G4's body. You know, kind of like if you had an old friend who passes away, so you dressed your new friend in his clothes. I'm feeling very uncomfortable. It's making a weird screaming sound.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-12-05) |
Image #180644 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-12-03 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-12-03 |
| Image Number: |
180642 |
| Caption: |
The average Millennial is now in their thirties. They're starting to get wrinkles. They're starting to go bald. They're starting to be sneered at by a younger generation. Their slang and their insults are appearing in mainstream media. On tv … in newspapers ... in comic strips ... which is basically the kiss of death for their cool. Okay Boomer.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-12-03) |
Image #180642 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-30 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-30 |
| Image Number: |
180583 |
| Caption: |
I read your latest article. I think you misquoted General Patton, bruh. What? I doubt he ever really said No Saturn - asterisk - pound sign - dollar sign - squiggle die for his country. He won it by making some other poor Saturn - asterisk - pound sign - dollar sign - squiggle die for his country. You're just messing with me you, Ø *#$}. That, I would believe he said.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-11-30) |
Image #180583 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-25 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-25 |
| Image Number: |
180571 |
| Caption: |
I can't stand it when black people whine about so-called racism. We live in a country where hundreds of thousands of white people died in a civil war to end slavery. How could people still think racism is a big part of this country in light of that history? Well, first of all ... didn't 260,000 of those Americans die trying to keep slavery? Ancient history. Has nothing to do with anything.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-11-25) |
Image #180571 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-10 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-10 |
| Image Number: |
180284 |
| Caption: |
My Uncle Elroy passed away. I have so many regrets. We were never all that close. But he was always there, for all my graduations, for all the family dinners, and to take me to ballgames. But the last three years, our relationship was … not good. We argued all the time about Donald Trump. Oh my. He fell for ever conspiracy theory. He'd send me link after link to dailynutjob.com, and I'd respond with links of my own to actual news, to scientific journals, etc. The last time we messaged each other, he accused me of being part of the Deep State, and I accused him of being gullible. I see. You regret that you wasted his last years on earth arguing about Donald Trump. I regret that Uncle Elroy's not here to see Donald Trump finally get impeached.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-11-10) |
Image #180284 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-10-01 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-10-01 |
| Image Number: |
179726 |
| Caption: |
Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothies on my head? I'm glad you huff asked. Studies huff show that sitting all huff day long behind a desk leads huff to obesity, sickness, huff toe-swelling huff and an early, huff excruciating huff death. So more huff and more huff office workers are using huff standing desks huff with treadmills. Have you ever huff tried handing someone huff a smoothie while running huff on a treadmill? They walk ... Walk.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-10-01) |
Image #179726 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-09-29 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-09-29 |
| Image Number: |
179616 |
| Caption: |
I'm tired of working, Randy. One of my ancestors put it best. It was the early days of the Roman Republic. Randius Taylorus Maximus was a soldier in the Roman phalanx. That bored him to death. All the clumsy formations, all the cumbersome gear, all the losing ... so he deserted and joined up with the Spartans. That's where he stopped working for a living, and got to do what he loved. He got to oil up and go into battle half-naked, with nothing but his shield, his sword and his loincloth. Years later, he adventured across the world on the back of Tito, the last living woolly mammoth. That's when he met Buddha, who took credit for Randius' motto: Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. I just meant I felt like taking a nap.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-09-29) |
Image #179616 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-07-07 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-07-07 |
| Image Number: |
178419 |
| Caption: |
Do you think there's life after death, Clyde? 'Course there is, Big L. You know how much death there been? What do you mean? It's been calculated that in all the time people been here, 100.8 billion of them have died. But C-Dog still here, bruh. This isn't all about you, Clyde. Ask Socrates if this all about me ... Oh, you can't.'Cause he dead. An' I ain't. Good talk, Clyde.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-07-07) |
Image #178419 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-06-25 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-06-25 |
| Image Number: |
178256 |
| Caption: |
You know why else our cozy camps aren't concentration camps? Did you just say cozy camps? Yes. How else would you describe camps where thousands and thousands of people get to cuddle in cages to house much fewer … where we intern tiny tots, and where scarce resources have so far cause the gentle parting of 30 adults and children (that we know of)? Gentle part- ... do you mean death? I mean expiration.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-06-25) |
Image #178256 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-05-29 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-05-29 |
| Image Number: |
177795 |
| Caption: |
Guess who walked into the offices of Fitzhugh, Fitzhugh & Fitzhugh today? The national security adviser. He said Military-Industrial Death Empire Corp is looking for help marketing their new product, Iran War. This is a big coup for us. McMahon, Tate & Stephens has been handling their advertising ever since the Spanish-American War. Congratulations.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-05-29) |
Image #177795 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-05-13 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-05-13 |
| Image Number: |
177620 |
| Caption: |
Did you see the new Sandra Bland video? The police found it on her phone two months after she died and hid it for four years. I still can't believe that cop flipped out on her like that after stopping her for a turn signal. It's just not safe for us out there. Happen all the time, Big L. That's why I started that GoFundMe. Black people aren't going to give you money to build escape-catapult seats for our cars. Already got 52,000 orders.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-05-13) |
Image #177620 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-04-12 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-04-12 |
| Image Number: |
177117 |
| Caption: |
What you just say life is? A parade of air-bursting bolides. When an extremely bright meteor hurtles toward earth, it's a bolide. If it blows up when it enters our atmosphere instead of impacting the surface … that's an airburst. Every opportunity we miss. Every time we narrowly avoid death. Every time we didn't eat a burrito that had just gone bad ... You tellin' me that burrito I snuck from you was old? Some bolides explode elsewhere.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-04-12) |
Image #177117 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-04-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-04-05 |
| Image Number: |
177046 |
| Caption: |
Looks like the President's finally going to destroy Obamacare. Millions would lose their insurance. Millions more would be thrown of Medicaid. Tens of thousands will die because they won't be covered anymore. On the bright side, I'll be able to tell all my old "pre-existing conditions" jokes again. They do say laughter keep you healthy. |
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-04-05) |
Image #177046 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-01-17 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-01-17 |
| Image Number: |
175843 |
| Caption: |
You writin' another article about them two that shot little Jazmine Barnes? Her death has to mean something. America cared because people thought racism cause it. Now that we know it didn't … This is an opportunity to get America to care about what did cause it. America caused it. I mean specifically.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-01-17) |
Image #175843 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-01-08 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-01-08 |
| Image Number: |
175737 |
| Caption: |
William Shakespeare didn't really write any of those plays. Biggie an' Tupac faked they own deaths. We never went to the moon. Elvis an' Hitler faked they own deaths. Lizard people fun the world. Yo momma never loved you. When Name Your Favorite Conspiracy Theories Goes Wrong. Your girlfriend be cheatin' on you.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-01-08) |
Image #175737 |
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