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Rudy Park

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121. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-10 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-10 Pub. Date: 2016-11-10
Image Number: 150763
Caption: Well, those election results certainly surprised me. Me too, little buddy. But that's because when I went to sleep last night, I had a dream … that Robert F. Kennedy had lived, he appointed Carl Sagan as science advisor and head of NASA, Sagan took us to Mars in 1991, and Donald Trump spent the rest of his days founding casinos and selling real estate degrees on the red planet. Meanwhile, in the 2016 election, Martin Luther King Jr. narrowly defeated Sonny Bono. I just meant I'd forgotten we were having an election.
     
122. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-05 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-05 Pub. Date: 2016-11-05
Image Number: 150488
Caption: I made fun of your age the other day. I'd like to apologize. That's odd. Does the blade of grass apologize to the lawnmower? Does the bug apologize to the windshield? Does the ant apologize to the boot? Those are some interesting analogies. Did they make more sense back in the middle ages when you first came up with them? I sense a boot coming
     
123. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-04 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-04 Pub. Date: 2016-11-04
Image Number: 150487
Caption: You're on the "Ask Sadie" show. What's your problem?! Someone gave my toddler a cookie. Now that's all he'll eat. Excellent question. Reminds me of the time I was a small child. One day, eccentric old Adelaide Chestersmithe down the street fed me a marmalade cookie. I was hooked. Mother Cohen exacted revenge by feeding laxatives to Mrs. Chestersmithe's pet orangutan. To put it mildly, she got her point across: Never give anyone's kid a "treat" without permission. Um ... Ok ... Thanks.
     
124. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-30 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-30 Pub. Date: 2016-10-30
Image Number: 149731
Caption: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.
     
125. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-14 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-14 Pub. Date: 2016-09-14
Image Number: 148487
Caption: I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think. About what, little buddy? Star Trek. The latest movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus. Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives.
     
126. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-06 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-06 Pub. Date: 2016-09-06
Image Number: 148227
Caption: I ordered chrysanthemum tea. This is not chrysanthemum tea. This is chamomile. We're out chrysanthemum. I've had chrysanthemum tea every day for the last 80 years, and I'm still alive and well. Are you trying to kill me? Are all old folks this superstitious? Superstition's always worked in the past.
     
127. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-31 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-31 Pub. Date: 2016-08-31
Image Number: 147933
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Donald Trump's pivot. In my day, there was no such thing as a "pivot." A "pivot" was called something else. It was called "being a two-faced snake in the grass." The only time Truman "pivoted" was when we were on the dance floor, and he heard young Dick Nixon talking trash.
     
128. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-28 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-28 Pub. Date: 2016-08-28
Image Number: 146881
Caption: I'm tired of working, Randy. One of my ancestors put it best. It was the early days of the Roman republic. Randius Taylorus Maximus was a soldier in the Roman phalanx. That bored him to death. All the clumsy formations, all the cumbersome gear, all the losing ... so he deserted and joined up with the Spartans. That's where he stopped "working" for a living, and got to do what he loved. He got to oil up and go into battle half-naked, with nothing but his shield, his sword and his loincloth. Years later, he adventured across the world on the back of Tito, the last living woolly mammoth. That's when he met Buddha, who took credit for Randius' motto: "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." I just meant I felt like taking a nap.
     
129. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-17 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-17 Pub. Date: 2016-08-17
Image Number: 147399
Caption: Rudy, I went out on a date last night. It was a miserable failure. Sorry. As my employee, you've seen me day in and day out. You know me better than anyone. Rudy, do I, your boss and sole source of income, have some personality flaw? Or did the fault lie entirely with my date? Feel free to speak candidly. Mother.
     
130. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-16 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-16 Pub. Date: 2016-08-16
Image Number: 147398
Caption: I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp. Really? Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that? They post "reviews" that don't have even a hint of negativity. Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: "House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate."
     
131. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-08 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-08 Pub. Date: 2016-08-08
Image Number: 147083
Caption: How many ibuprofens can you take in a row before your liver explodes? Pardon? I have an awful toothache. But I sort of forgot to sign up for Obamacare, so now I have to wait till 2017 to get treated. Think I'd be ok if I took 900 Advils? No. How about six Advils per day for 150 days? Yes ... Wait ... No.
     
132. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-26 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-26 Pub. Date: 2016-07-26
Image Number: 146483
Caption: Where's my nephew? I haven't seen Rudy in days. He's in jail. He called me to bail him out, but I just can't. What?! What did he do? Did he steal something? Did he hurt someone? What did my nephew do?! And how could you leave him in jail?! Why didn't you bail him out?! He broke into the mayor's house and rooted around his underwear drawer looking for a rare "Pokémon Go" character. Say no more. Please.
     
133. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-19 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-19 Pub. Date: 2016-07-19
Image Number: 146152
Caption: Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head? I'm glad you (huff) asked. Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death. So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills. Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill? They walk. ... Walk.
     
134. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-15 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-15 Pub. Date: 2016-07-15
Image Number: 145832
Caption: "Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your problem?! The other day, my grandpa tried driving to the corner store but got lost and ended up at the beach, six states away. How do I get him to realize it's time to stop driving without hurting his feelings? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time in 1863 when Grandpappy Cohen accidentally led a caravan of zoo-bound pelicans onto a field at Gettysburg. One particularly panicky pelican escaped and distracted General Lee, and the rest is history. Um ... Ok ...
     
135. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-11 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-11 Pub. Date: 2016-07-11
Image Number: 145828
Caption: Armstrong, why do we have Fourth of July decorations up? That was last week. Exactly. A true patriot loves his country regardless of the date. A true patriot celebrates the founding of our corporatocracy every single day of the year, minion. Some of the decorations are smeared with coffee grounds and banana peels. A true patriot knows that one cafe's dumpster is another cafe's treasure.
     
136. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-09 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-09 Pub. Date: 2016-07-09
Image Number: 145519
Caption: Thank you for coming in on your day off, minion. It reflects well on your character. I don't know how you got that impression. I would never force you to come in on your day off. That would be illegal. You said "Come in on your day off. Your job depends on it." Rudy, Rudy, Rudy ... That's just a figure of speech. You went on to say "I mean it. That's not just a figure of speech." That was a figure of speech too.
     
137. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-07 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-07 Pub. Date: 2016-07-07
Image Number: 145517
Caption: What's your question for "Ask Sadie?" Are America's best days behind us? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time in grade school when the schoolmarm told little Jebediah Thistlewood to pull up his knickers. The next day, Jebediah's pa came to school and said "In my day, a man was free enough to wear his trousers 'round his ankles if he wanted to. This used to be one humdinger of a country." I still have no idea what he was talking about. I don't even remember what I asked you.
     
138. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-03 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-03 Pub. Date: 2016-07-03
Image Number: 144703
Caption: Sadie, I just read that the moon used to be a lot closer to earth. You? "Read"? Yes, I read all the time. It takes you that long to read a book? Now that's not nice, Mrs. Cohen. We don't have to go at each other all the time, do we? I dream of a day when you and I can let bygones be bygones, embrace one another, and give each other the respect each of us deserves. Nothing doing! Come on, Sadie. Don't you ever wonder how happy we could be if we called a cease-fire? How about it? ... Friends? (Sigh) Why not ... Great! Now, I read that billions of years ago, the moon was much closer. You were there, is that true? Cease-fire over!
     
139. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-28 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-28 Pub. Date: 2016-06-28
Image Number: 145235
Caption: I'm going to be rich, famous, and irresistible to the opposite sex any day now, Randy. I think you've had one too many hot cocoas, little buddy. No, really. I've written a note for my descendants and buried it in a time capsule in my backyard. Once they read it, they'll time-travel back to the 20th century and genetically engineer my embryonic self. HOJ. They'll bestow me with superhuman charisma, epic good looks, and money-management skills. You're forgetting that to have descendants, you have to be able to get a date.
     
140. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-20 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-20 Pub. Date: 2016-06-20
Image Number: 144909
Caption: In all the years I've endured your presence, I have never once heard you mention your mother. It's almost as if you think you sprang fully formed from the bowels of the earth. When's the last time you called your mother? December 2, 1992. The day before text messaging was introduced. INGRATE!!!
     
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