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Rudy Park

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61. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-13 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-13 Pub. Date: 2018-03-13
Image Number: 169406
Caption: You wanted to talk to me, boss? Yes, Rudy. I'm going to give you some time off to expand your horizons. You are? But you've never given me any time off ever. That was before patrons began complaining about how boring you are. I'm going to need you to visit exciting locales, get into interesting exploits, and come back with tales with which to enthrall the average cafe patron. Wow. Thanks. I'll give you four hours off every day between midnight and 4 a.m. Use them wisely. Wow. Thanks.
     
62. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-28 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-28 Pub. Date: 2018-02-28
Image Number: 168935
Caption: I'm thinking of suing your café, I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it. I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes. That's why I had twelve cavities! I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte. No deal.
     
63. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-22 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-22 Pub. Date: 2018-02-22
Image Number: 168669
Caption: Your nephew had a big date last night, Mort. It's about time. Back in my day, I went out with a different cutie patootie every fortnight. At my age, it's all about living vicariously through the younguns. Which means when he's going through a drought, so am I. She said I could call her again once we've colonized Mars! I haven't experienced a drought this long since the Dust Bowl back in nineteen-and-thirty.
     
64. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-10 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-10 Pub. Date: 2018-02-10
Image Number: 168191
Caption: In my day, they didn't give free lunches to poor children in school. If your parents couldn't afford to feed you, you went without. When you saw rich kids and their fancy sandwiches, you didn't expect the government to level the playing field for you. You pushed them down in the mud and stole those sandwiches on your own! I think I read about you in The Hunger Games.
     
65. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-08 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-08 Pub. Date: 2018-02-08
Image Number: 168189
Caption: I'm thinking of becoming a personal shopper. What's that? It's where you buy things for people who are too busy to go shopping themselves. I mean, I love to shop. I love it more than almost anything. They say if you love your work, you never work a day in your life. HOJ. To each his own, I guess. I love everything about shopping. From the seductive open sign, to the supple checkout lines.
     
66. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-29 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-29 Pub. Date: 2018-01-29
Image Number: 167929
Caption: What's wrong, little buddy? My phone. I registered a new domain name the other day, but I didn't want to pay the extra $5 to make the ownership private. Ever since, people have been calling my cell every five minutes trying to sell me stuff. That's so slimy! What domain name did you register? Eploitrr.com. I registered that so I could sell stuff to people who mistyped while they were trying to reach exploiterr.com. Nothing like a good, honest living.
     
67. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-20 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-20 Pub. Date: 2018-01-20
Image Number: 167382
Caption: Sadie, I keep hearing all this talk about how the president might be literally insane. It's making me feel anxious. Sometimes I wonder if this is how the British felt when King George III went crazy and lost America. Or is it more like how the Romans felt when Caligula made his horse a senator? That reminds me: Did you get to ride Caligula's horse, or were you too old for that? Before I answer that, let me show you what the Romans did to losers in the old days ...
     
68. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-19 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-19 Pub. Date: 2018-01-19
Image Number: 167381
Caption: You're here early, minion. I appreciate the dedication you're showing. Thanks, boss. I've adjusted your work schedule accordingly. What do you mean? There's no reason why you have to show up for work at 5 a.m. every day now that I know you're capable of showing up at 4 a.m. I also noticed you took only one bathroom break yesterday, so ... Very Bad Man.
     
69. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-14 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-14 Pub. Date: 2018-01-14
Image Number: 166645
Caption: I've been told I can order a small mocha. Told? Because of my heart rate and activity level over the past seven days, I've been allotted a daily limit of 1,426 calories. I'm told that's just enough to include one small mocha. Hold on … there's vibrating ... Hold on ... hold on ... buffering ... Bing! Fitness overlords says I'm one calorie away from a medium mocha. It says yelling burns one calorie. I've got to get that app.
     
70. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-13 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-13 Pub. Date: 2018-01-13
Image Number: 167109
Caption: Boss, I have a suggestion for you that win-win. It'll save you thousands of dollars in health insurance premiums. Listening … If you pay to have me cryogenically frozen and then thawed every other day, I'll get to live to be 180, and you'll get an employee who's young and productive for the rest of your life. Ignoring. Don't you want to sleep on it?
     
71. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-04 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-04 Pub. Date: 2018-01-04
Image Number: 166788
Caption: Akron, oh, you're on Ask Sadie. What's your problem?! I'm thinking of not signing up for health insurance this year. Good idea. In my day, there was no such thing as health insurance. If you got sick, you paid for it with either money or chickens. That's if you were a lily-livered coward who just had to see a doctor. When great-great-grandmother Cohen had her sixth heart attack, she just applied a poultice made of chestnut leaves and flour and kept on plowing.
     
72. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-02 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-02 Pub. Date: 2018-01-02
Image Number: 166786
Caption: The hive mind has reaches a consensus about 'Star Wars.' I don't want to hear it. An alpha doesn't care to hear the opinions of anonymous strangers on the internet. People are more likely to post ill-considered nonsense if their real names aren't attached to their words. Juiceman842 tweeted the opposite the other day. Proves my point.
     
73. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-29 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-29 Pub. Date: 2017-12-29
Image Number: 166543
Caption: Boss? Why've you been calling me "Sauron" all day? It's a hero's journey thing. Step 8, to be exact: The Ordeal. In the ordeal, the hero of the story faces a pivotal test of either strength or will. In Lord of the Rings, the ordeal was the face-off with Sauron. But why'd you start calling me that right after I asked for a raise? Denied, foul beast! ... Now, let me check my bank account for Step 9: The Reward.
     
74. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-27 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-27 Pub. Date: 2017-12-27
Image Number: 166541
Caption: Where were you the last few days, little buddy? San Francisco. I heard new robot security guards were harassing the homeless to keep them from sleeping on city streets. So I went out there hoping to be recruited by any time-traveler who came back in time to lead a resistance cell. I knew it was a long-shot. But I'd have kicked myself if I didn't go and the time-traveler did show up. Hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
     
75. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-09 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-09 Pub. Date: 2017-12-09
Image Number: 165720
Caption: The people making the Vasimr engine ripped off my idea. What? How? When I was a kid, I had the idea of getting to Mars in just 40 days. The Vasimr engine uses radio waves to ionize and heat propellant to do just that. That's pretty impressive. How'd you know that radio waves could ionize and heat propellant when you were just a kid? Not that part. Just the "40 days" part. Less impressive.
     
76. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-25 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-25 Pub. Date: 2017-11-25
Image Number: 165181
Caption: Randy? What kind of frat parties do you think they had in ancient Rome? I mean, they wore togas every day. That's easy, little buddy. They'd wear an Akkadian loincloth. The Akkadians were just as ancient as the Romans as the Romans are to us. You seem to know a lot about them. That's because the Randy lineage traces its roots back to the Akkadians. Randush "The Rock" Taylor was a popular loincloth model back then. I can trace my family back to Cleveland.
     
77. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-21 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-21 Pub. Date: 2017-11-21
Image Number: 165177
Caption: You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! The Senate. They tried AGAIN to repeal Obamacare, this time by hiding it in the tax bill. When's it going to stop? It's so repetitive. This reminds me of "Groundhog Day," that film where that lovely Mr. Bill Murray went from having a great personality to being a horrible loser. Um ... I don't think that's what you were supposed to take from the movie. There is one adorable deleted scene with a chainsaw. It's on the Youtube.
     
78. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-17 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-17 Pub. Date: 2017-11-17
Image Number: 164886
Caption: Rudy, it's come to my attention you've been using the restroom three times a day. Of course I have, boss. Did you not see the sign out front that says "restrooms are for customers only"? Seriously? I work here, boss. I've worked here for sixteen years! Good point. Calculating ... average customer spends $20 ... multiply by sixteen ... multiply by 365 ... I'll have to deduct $116,800 from your next several dozen paychecks. Very bad man.
     
79. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-15 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-15 Pub. Date: 2017-11-15
Image Number: 164884
Caption: I closed all my rings yesterday, Randy! What do you mean? On my Apple Watch. If you move enough, stand enough and work out enough during the day, colorful rings close on the watch face. I see. Impressive, little buddy. What'd you do, go for a long run? Do 100 situps? An hour of cardio? Fun fact, totally not related: If the watch notices you're not moving, standing or working out it lowers the amount of time it takes to close the rings. Less impressive.
     
80. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-09 day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-09 Pub. Date: 2017-11-09
Image Number: 164676
Caption: What's the best way to avoid getting stuck in a serious relationship? Little buddy … Aren't you putting the cart before the horse? You haven't even had a date in … what it it, two years? … Which means I'm due for an extra-clingy relationship any day now. Well ... I suppose that is in keeping with Randy's postulate #498 ... The cling-i-tude of a relationship is directly proportional to the amount of time it takes to get into it. Is there any formula for avoiding that? Maybe if I carry the one?
     
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