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Candorville

Comics about cutting and cuttings.

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Result page:    2  Next  (23 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-21 cutting 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-21 Pub. Date: 2019-04-21
Image Number: 177255
Caption: My boss asked me if I'd consider getting a more professional-looking haircut. Dr. Noodle. I told him It is professional. I get it cut at Roscoe's Barbershop every two weeks. So then he said That's not what I meant. He said Think of cropping it short. So I said But Cody has longer hair than I do. So does Chad. And Bryan. And Todd. And Jack. And Spencer ... and you. So then he said he wasn't going to name names, but one of my coworkers told him my aggressive hair makes them uncomfortable. So I said to him that coworkers complaint, and you siding with them, is making me uncomfortable. What are you going to do about that? Let me guess ... He told me there was no need to be so aggressive.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-04 cutting 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-04 Pub. Date: 2019-02-04
Image Number: 176170
Caption: I've seen an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes. What on earth are you talking about, little buddy? I watched more than 80 movies last night on Hulu, for free. Are you talking about trailers? When it shows the beginning, middle and end, it's a movie.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-14 cutting 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-14 Pub. Date: 2018-09-14
Image Number: 173986
Caption: Whachoo gone an' canceled cable for, bruh? It's too expensive and I didn't watch most of the channels. I can see all my favorite shows on Netflix and Hulu for a fraction of the cost. That's selfish. Think of the ramifications. Think of the cable workers who gonna lose they job if erebody cut cable. Wait ... how did you know I canceled cable? (A) I don't know what you implying. An' (2) I don't even know how to tap somebody line to secretly share they cable.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-06 cutting 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-06 Pub. Date: 2018-09-06
Image Number: 173882
Caption: Susan? Of all the haircuts I've ever had, which one was your favorite? Oh, that's easy. The high-top fade you had back in high school. That was amazing. Mine too. I went to Roscoe's Cuts to see if old Roscoe could do it, just like he did in the nineties. He said he's not sure my hair's thick enough to get up that high anymore. Oh. Well, there's nothin wrong with a low-top fade. He said it's almost time for a no-top fade.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-05 cutting 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-05 Pub. Date: 2018-09-05
Image Number: 173881
Caption: .I don't know if I ever tol' you but … I used to cut Mr. T's hair back in the day. I don't brag about it much, but I'm the one who came up with his iconic hairstyle. Oh, he wasn't happy about it at first. But I said to Mr. T … Mr T? What some people call an accident, a wise man would call an opportunity ... Let me look in the mirror for a second. The mirrors are currently out of order.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-04 cutting 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-04 Pub. Date: 2018-09-04
Image Number: 173880
Caption: You might wanna get your hair checked, bruh. Your ask-frequency down 20% per year. That's a bad sight, Big L. My what? This year you asked me C-Dog, did you take my clippers? 5 times. By this time last year, you done asked 25 times. Guess how many times you asked the year before? Give. Me. Back. My. Clippers. Yo' hair growth be on a perfect negative-sloped linear Bezier curve, bruh. That @#$% serious.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-11 cutting 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-11 Pub. Date: 2018-03-11
Image Number: 168713
Caption: The president wants a big giant military parade. The president wants to cut food stamps. A lot of the military is on food stamps, how's the military going to have the energy to march in his big giant parade? Maybe he gonna put a bag of carrots at the finish line.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-19 cutting 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-19 Pub. Date: 2018-01-19
Image Number: 167359
Caption: Oh, you got a big date tonight? Glad you came in. I could do somethin' for you. I could tell you ain't no haircut in the world gonna make a woman like you. If she like you, she like you. In fact, only thing a woman like more than a man who's all put together is a man she can put together. I don't think we like the same type of woman. Women like a scar, too. I could give you one. That'd be extra. (Originally published on 2016-01-01).
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-26 cutting 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-26 Pub. Date: 2017-05-26
Image Number: 158344
Caption: … So Ace Peerless and I were parasailing, and out of nowhere, he took out his knife, cut his cords, and plummeted into the ocean. Of all the times I've had men run out in the middle of an argument, that was by far the most annoying. Susan, I said my old college roommate Rudy Park is a Russian spy, and a federal agent put me on a plane to Moscow to follow him and expose how he's helping Putin blackmail the president! Not being heard. That is my biggest pet peeve, Lemont. Ace knows that. Could you pick my son up from daycare?
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-09 cutting 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-09 Pub. Date: 2017-04-09
Image Number: 155971
Caption: Donald Trump is cutting all funding for NPR, the National Endowment for the Arts, PBS, the Institute of Museum and Library Services, and more. What? They goin' after Big Bird? What Big Bird do to him? I didn't know Trump was mad at 'im. I ain't seen no tweet about it or nothin'. Big Bird'll be fine. HBO owns Big Bird now. Say what? I don't know if I could watch Big Bird on HBO. Last thing I need to see is Big Bird naked, or Big Bird choppin' off people arms an' whatnot. That's not the point. The point is, he's stripping funding from the Smithsonian and other icons of our culture, but buying more bombs we don't need. I don't need to see Big Bird slingin' smack for the mafia. It's not always about Big Bird.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-01 cutting 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-01 Pub. Date: 2016-01-01
Image Number: 137117
Caption: Oh, you got a big date tonight? Glad you came in. I could do somethin' for you. I could tell you ain't no haircut in the world gonna make a woman like you. If she like you, she like you. In fact, only thing a woman like more than a man who's all put together is a man she can put together. I don't think we like the same type of woman. Women like a scar, too. I could give you one. That'd be extra.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-06 cutting 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-06 Pub. Date: 2014-08-06
Image Number: 114619
Caption: The world moves really fast, Susan. It feels like just a few years ago I was on the cutting edge 'cause I knew how to program a website with HTML. But it's as if I blinked for a second, and the whole world ran past me and I don't have the skills to keep up. STOP IT!!!! (Originally published on 2012-02-02).
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-12 cutting 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-12 Pub. Date: 2013-08-12
Image Number: 100289
Caption: Homeless. Can you spare 25 cents. Stop that. Homeless. Can you spare 24 cents.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-06-10 cutting 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-06-10 Pub. Date: 2012-06-10
Image Number: 81209
Caption: I said you have a communication problem. I hear that part. Dr. Noodle … Lem. What's a "Lem"? It's me finishing my sentence. You sound just like my wife. She's always whining about me not letting her finish her sentences. Why on earth should I? Why should I be subjected to hearing a bunch of blather if I already get the point? Because cutting someone off before she can fully express herself is disrespectful. You're essentially telling her she's a waste of your time. PhD. Well, what a more respectful way of telling her she's a waste of my time?
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-03-31 cutting 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-03-31 Pub. Date: 2012-03-31
Image Number: 77955
Caption: Today. What's the big deal about women not being able to get birth-control coverage from their health insurance? They can always get it from Planned Parenthood. Run! Three weeks ago. I'm glad Governor Nutter wants to defund Planned Parenthood. I hate Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood needs to go. Today. What? Run!
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-02 cutting 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-02 Pub. Date: 2012-02-02
Image Number: 75827
Caption: The world moves really fast, Susan. Observation. It feels like just a few years ago I was on the cutting edge 'cause I knew how to program a website with HTML. But it's as if I blinked for a second, and the whole world ran past me and I don't have the skills to keep up. STOP IT!!!!
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-07 cutting 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-07 Pub. Date: 2011-08-07
Image Number: 63977
Caption: Pardon me, sir, are you Norquistian? What's a Norquistian? Here, it's our Good Book. You might want to start with our Ten Commandments. "1. Thou shalt not raise taxes. 2. Thou shalt not raise taxes. 3. Thou shalt not raise …" Interesting. What happens if you keep all the commandments? Norquist 19:85: "And lo, the rich shall use their tax cuts to hire the poor. Wages will rise, employment will rise, and manna will trick down from on high and shower all the peoples of the land in prosperity." Oh ... but we've been cutting taxes for ten years, and non of that has happened. Quite the opposite, actually. That is because we are NOT STRONG ENOUGH in the faith. We must cut even more. Not sure I buy all this. You heathens shall be left behind while we, the faithful, shall one day be trickled upon.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-11-22 cutting 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-11-22 Pub. Date: 2008-11-22
Image Number: 28123
Caption: Hey, were you there before? Yeah. Gall-Mart. No you weren't. You cut ahead of me. Well, you were reading a magazine, so I didn't think you were in a hurry. Is that how you go through life? Taking advantage of people and making up insulting excuses? How's that working out for you? Pretty good.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-04-27 cutting 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-04-27 Pub. Date: 2007-04-27
Image Number: 17004
Caption: The Candorville Chronicle. Here's the thing, Brown, if we're being sold to Trigon Corp. They'll want cost-cutting. Corporations have shareholders. Shareholders demand huge and growing profit margins. I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, son. We can't afford you anymore. But you don't pay me anything. Oh. Well. Carry on, then.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-02-13 cutting 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-02-14 Pub. Date: 2007-02-13
Image Number: 16107
Caption: What're you doing, Lemont? Cleaning out my desk. Papers sverywhere are cutting costs, firing reporters and cartoonists, outsourcing the news. Lemont Brown won't take it lying down, Frank! If Lemont's going down, Lemont's taking his stapler with 'im! Got a problem with that, Frank? Huh, Frank? Yeah. That's my desk. Don't get technical at a time like this, Frank.
     
Result page:    2  Next  (23 images)