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Rudy Park

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41. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-07-25 cut 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-07-25 Pub. Date: 2015-07-25
Image Number: 130030
Caption: Boss, the customers are demanding to know why the muffins taste like ground cardboard. There was a sale on week-old organic oat bran and cardboard muffins. Should I tell them that? Depends. Are the men wearing lumberjack beards and hipster glasses? And are the women wearing Salvation Army clothes and hipster glasses? Yes. Tell them.
     
42. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-18 cut 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-18 Pub. Date: 2015-06-18
Image Number: 128447
Caption: You should cut the cord. I did it years ago. What do you mean? I canceled cable. I get the same stuff I used to see for much less, by streaming Netflix, Hulu and Amazon through a Roku box … and by buying season passes to three shows and illegally downloading about a dozen others from bit torrent. Did you know "Game of Thrones" is a lot scarier in Russian? I'll stick with cable.
     
43. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-04-26 cut 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-04-26 Pub. Date: 2015-04-26
Image Number: 125280
Caption: Today, an installment of our periodic feature: Uncle Mort's Less Than Mainstream Theories™ Of late, there has been a most welcome decline in crime in America. For whatever reason, I now feel comfortable taking a leisurely stroll at night, and I can wear my favorite blue flannel shirt without being shot at by gangsters who mistake me for a Crip. But let me explain what's really going on. THIS IS ALL A CONSPIRACY BY FLANNEL-SHIRT INDUSTRY EXECUTIVES! They've clearly convinced gangs across the country to cut down on the violence in return for some sort of profit-sharing arrangement. The saggy-jean industry is in on this too. A guy in skinny jeans tried to mug me. Couldn't get his own gun out of his pocket. Which also accounts for the falling crime.
     
44. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-04-10 cut 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-04-10 Pub. Date: 2015-04-10
Image Number: 125278
Caption: I have a coupon for half off an $8 blueberry muffin. That's be $8.
     
45. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-04-05 cut 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-04-05 Pub. Date: 2015-04-05
Image Number: 124320
Caption: Rudy, gas prices are rising again. I bet somehow this is bad news for me. I suppose you're wondering how that affects the café. Uh … sure. Well, did you know that a great many products are made from oil? Such as plastic? And did you know that, for a brief time, manufacturers would actually pay people to cart away all their plastic shavings? ... And did you know that it's much cheaper to cut coffee grounds with plastic shavings than to serve pure coffee? Theoretically, of course, I would never do such a thing. Anyhow, our profit margins have plummeted 0.02%, so I'll have to cut your pay. Yes! I just won a bet!
     
46. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-16 cut 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-16 Pub. Date: 2015-02-16
Image Number: 123158
Caption: I've seen an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes. What on earth are you talking about, little buddy? I watched more than 80 movies last night on Hulu, for free. Are you talking about trailers? When it shows the beginning, middle and end, it's a movie.
     
47. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-11-08 cut 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-11-08 Pub. Date: 2014-11-08
Image Number: 118568
Caption: It just occurred to me, I don’t know if you're a republican or democrat. That's right, little buddy. If someone can easily tell what your politics are, then the mystery is all gone. You become a stereotype to them; and no matter what you say, they'll think "I knew he was going to say that" because they'll twist it to fit into their preconceived opinion about you. Plus it cuts your dating pool in half. I knew you were gonna say something like that.
     
48. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-11-07 cut 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-11-07 Pub. Date: 2014-11-07
Image Number: 118567
Caption: Boss, as you know, I've decided to become a republican. A step in the right direction. As such, I'm begging you, please … DO NOT RAISE MY WAGES!!! Giving me an extra $2 an hour will ruin me. Once I'm rolling in all that dough, I'll lose any incentive to get a better job. In fact, you'd be doing me a favor if you paid me even less. Ok. I'll cut your pay in half. Would half be enough? Wait! That was supposed to be reverse-psychology! Let me try again ...
     
49. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-07 cut 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-07 Pub. Date: 2014-08-07
Image Number: 114701
Caption: I heard you're on your way to Europe to secure a source of black market hepatitis C drugs. What? What are you talking about? I deny everything. Where did you hear that? You added an airplane pillow, the "German For Dummies," the book "Hep C and You," and "Smugglerco Duffel Bag w/Secret Compartment" to your Amazon wishlist. I ordered you the book "Not Everyone Is Cut Out For A Life Of Crime." I deny everything.
     
50. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-05 cut 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-05 Pub. Date: 2014-08-05
Image Number: 114699
Caption: I've checked the spreadsheet, minion. How do you explain yourself? What'd I do, boss? Since you started working here 13 years ago, average rainfall in the township has plummeted by 15%. We're now in a drought. That's led to coffee and cocoa purchases also plummeting by an average of 15%. I'm going to have to give you a 15% pay cut to compensate for your deleterious effect on the local climate. Very bad man.
     
51. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-27 cut 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-27 Pub. Date: 2014-07-27
Image Number: 113519
Caption: Have I heard of what? "The curse of the redshirts." You know how every time Captain Kirk would beam down a landing party, the character wearing a red shirt would get killed in some gruesome way? Well, back in nineteen and sixty-eight, I auditioned to be the red shirt who gets killed by a plant. Mal Friedman stole that role from me! A luck would have it, Gene Roddenberry like the cut of my jib and wrote me into every episode anyway. I was the purple-shirted extra who was always felled by workplace repetitive stress injuries. They always cut my scenes on account of overacting. Only think I remember from that show is shatter's glistening chesticles. The purple shirt always ended up on the cutting-room floor.
     
52. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-05-31 cut 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-05-31 Pub. Date: 2014-05-31
Image Number: 111863
Caption: My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cut-throat world of Scrabble tournaments.
     
53. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-04-28 cut 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-04-28 Pub. Date: 2014-04-28
Image Number: 110789
Caption: Why should I let you leave work, Rudy. Because my shift's over. I've calculated it. Turns out you spend 12.2% of your day mopping. That means in just one month, I pay you more to mop than the price of one Roomba. The Roomba robot would work 24 hours a day if I told it to. Would like a 12.2% pay cut, of shall I rename thee. "Roomba Park"? Goodnight, Scrooge.
     
54. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-04-18 cut 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-04-18 Pub. Date: 2014-04-18
Image Number: 110185
Caption: Boss, can I talk to you for a sec? I was about to ask you the same thing, Park. The job market's picking up out there. That's horrible for us. Fewer people are buying comfort food. I'm going to have to cut your pay by 10%. Now what were you going to ask me? I wanted a 10% raise. You KNEW, didn't you?! I'll give you 7%, but only because I value you as a minion.
     
55. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-04-16 cut 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-04-16 Pub. Date: 2014-04-16
Image Number: 110183
Caption: Randy, what's the best way to ask for a raise? Have a battle plan. First do recon: how're the company's finances? Second: arm yourself with examples of how you went above and beyond. Then you march in. Then you hope the public hasn't lost interest and congress hasn't cut funding for your medical care when you get home. Well that went off on a tangent. "No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy."
     
56. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2013-12-20 cut 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2013-12-20 Pub. Date: 2013-12-20
Image Number: 106920
Caption: Holiday Poem Week continues with: Armstrong Maynard, feeling unusually magnanimous. A holiday bonus is deserved and quite nice. I'll here no ifs, ands, or buts. Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard. Take an extra scone home, half-price. Oh yeah … and your health insurance is cut. You never gave me health insurance.
     
57. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2013-12-06 cut 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2013-12-06 Pub. Date: 2013-12-06
Image Number: 106906
Caption: Boss just told me to cut the coffee grounds with garden soil. #cheapskates. Are you Tweeting again? You'd better not be Tweeting again! When in doubt, freeze. #brilliant-ways-to-thwart-dumb-bosses. I hear tapping!
     
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