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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-06 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-06 Pub. Date: 2019-05-06
Image Number: 177508
Caption: I applied for a Home Depot credit card, Susan. What? Why? You rent. How much Home Depot stuff could you need? Well, when I picked little Lionel up from Toddlerville day care and asked him what he learned today … he said they learned how to barricade the door and hide form an active shooter. This country is sick. Toddlerville told me they didn't have the budget for bulletproof doors, so I figured I'd build them some.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-30 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-30 Pub. Date: 2019-01-30
Image Number: 176033
Caption: Yesterday at work, I said Aristotle was a moron. Someone over heard me. They told a co-worker, who told another … By the end of the day, the office was bitterly divided into a pro-Aristotle and anti-Aristotle camps. Aristotle was wrong about everything. He though men were superior to women and masters were superior to slaves. He was wrong about physics, about chemistry, about biology, about psychology, about astronomy, and about social justice. As if our country wasn't divided enough, you had to mess around and start this. I'm not sure I can even respect the pro-Aristotle people anymore.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-27 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-27 Pub. Date: 2019-01-27
Image Number: 175735
Caption: Ever since the president announced he'd be pulling troops out of Syria, I've felt like some nefarious entity has put blinders on me. And I only see what they want me to see. Dr. Noodle. I spent all day channel-flipping between MSNBC, Fox and CNN … and reading all the usual newspapers ... and then it hit me ... I didn't read or hear a single voice saying we should not be militarily occupying other people's countries. It's as if the media's entire purpose is to pretend there is no dissenting opinion about our endless wars. Look what happened when Phil Donahue. He had the highest rated show on MSNBC. But as soon as he came out against invading Iraq, he disappeared! Anti-war voices in the media always disappear. That's a bit paran ... Hey ... where'd you ... ?
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-12 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-12 Pub. Date: 2019-01-12
Image Number: 175741
Caption: This country's overrun with people who hate talking about racism more than they hate racism itself. I wrote an article about a breaking story. I called it White Man in a Pickup Truck Shoots into Black Family's Car, Kills Seven-Year-Old. Hundreds of people replied Why do you have to bring race into it? Bet they came up with all kinds of excuses. On of them said Some pickup-truck drivers just really don't like cars.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-09 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-09 Pub. Date: 2018-11-09
Image Number: 174824
Caption: Do you ever feel, Rosencrantz, as if we're bearing witness to the nation's end? … as if we're sitting beside the hospital bed of an old, grizzled friend … who's about to breathe his final breath? That feeling would be ominous. I don't do ominous. That sounds ominous.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-01 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-01 Pub. Date: 2018-11-01
Image Number: 174718
Caption: I'll tell you one thing, Susan, this is not the country I thought it was. When we were kids, I thought all the bad, unfair, horrible things were all in the past. I thought Martin Luther King, Jr., the Beatles, Muhammad Ali and Mr. Rogers came along and made it all better. I want my son to have the same tragically wrong illusions. It makes for a happy childhood. I still don't think you should cryogenically freeze him and they him out when all the crazy stops. I'm just researching whether it's possible. I haven't decided.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-23 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-23 Pub. Date: 2018-10-23
Image Number: 174601
Caption: Thousands of Native Americans might not be allowed to vote if they don't have I.D. that shows their street addresses. Ever since they won the right to vote, they were promised they could vote using I.D. that showed their P.O. box, since many live on the reservation and don't have street addresses. The country's never made Native Americans a promise it didn't go on break. So ... it's almost like America made a promise to break every promise it made them. Now's not the time to set up paradoxes, Clyde.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-12 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-12 Pub. Date: 2018-09-12
Image Number: 173984
Caption: This country's moved too far to the left. You can tell every time you turn on the tv. There used to be shows like Little House on the Prairie, which taught good, wholesome family values … and Gunsmoke, which taught good, wholesome respect for the sheriff's proper role as judge, jury and executioner ... and The Munsters which taught us good, wholesome disdain for multiculturalism. Wait ... are you just messing with me?
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-11 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-11 Pub. Date: 2018-09-11
Image Number: 173983
Caption: Bus is late. Fake news. What? Have you interviewed the bus dispatcher? Have you been here all day? It's just as likely the bus has been running early all day. And so we missed it. But I guess that wouldn't fit in with your bus is late narrative. Not everything in this country has to be an argument. Yes it does!
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-03 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-03 Pub. Date: 2018-09-03
Image Number: 173879
Caption: I been thinkin' 'bout John McCain, bruh. How the whole country got together to worship him when he died. When he got captured, he tool it like nobody else alive prolly coulda taken it. Can't take that away from him. But he was wrong about a lot. He supported wars, invasions an' arms sales that got a lot of people slaughtered ... but then, so did America. An' that's why people love him. 'Cause if he still cool, that mean the rest of us still cool too. I think it was because of his sense of humor.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-12 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-12 Pub. Date: 2018-08-12
Image Number: 173270
Caption: Hi, Mr. Dogg. My name's Sidious Darkmoney. I'm urging you to call your representative and demand they pass H.R. 666 … also known as the Patriot Love Bunny Kitten Sunshine Act. What that act about, bruh? Silence, swine! I -- … um, I mean its about love of country, kittens, bunnies and sunshine ... all of which would benefit from the extermination of bunnies, the brutal slaughter of kittens, and the total deregulation of all toxic pollutants that blot out sunlight. Who you say you with again? Silence, swine! ... um, I mean ... I'm with the our-government-stooges-decided-we-don't-have-to-tell-you-who-we-are association. Wait ... ain't you the dude who called me last week to inform me the election been postponed?
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-14 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-14 Pub. Date: 2018-07-14
Image Number: 172718
Caption: At the refugee jail. Look on the bright side, little buddy. Now's your chance to get prison-ripped. What? I'm writing a new book in the "Randy's Manuals" series. It's called "The Alpha Male's Guide to Jail." Chapter six is all aobut using the two hours a day of yard-time to develop titanium buns. I'm not sure this'll be a best-seller. You kidding? We jail more people that any country in the entire world.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-09 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-09 Pub. Date: 2018-07-09
Image Number: 172715
Caption: After the township of Canardville collapsed into a giant sinkhole, the Mayor of neighboring Candorville jailed the refugees in an internment camp. I can't believe it. We're not trending. No hashtags, no protests, no mentions on Youtube. NOTHING. Of course not. Don't you see, Rudy? They put babies in concentration camps. BABIES. People were outraged - for about three weeks. I've seen this sort of desensitization before. A country that gets over having baby-jails can tolerate just about anything. How do we know those babies were innocent?
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-23 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-23 Pub. Date: 2018-06-23
Image Number: 172359
Caption: I'm an accomplished writer, Susan. I don't tiptoe around the big issues. I've won awards for that. How could they reject me? You wrote "I love you so much that when you were a toddler and you choked on your own vomit … I dug it out of your mouth with my own hand without even thinking about it ... Happy birthday. That's real love. You'd think Hallmark would know that the country's in the mood for authenticity.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-14 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-14 Pub. Date: 2018-04-14
Image Number: 170414
Caption: Clyde, I've never asked you this before, but … do you own a gun? What? Ain't you seen what happened to that brotha Philando Castile? Shot for telling a cop he has a licensed gun and a permit. John Crawford III … Tamir Rice … the country don't think the second amendment apply to us, Big L ... they think the second amendment's to protect them from us. You didn't answer my question.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-04 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-04 Pub. Date: 2018-04-04
Image Number: 170150
Caption: Because of Donald Trump, I'm taking my son and I'm moving to New Zealand. Canada, bruh. Erebody always say they movin' to Canada if someone they don't like be president. Trump's a bully. The whole world knows it. One day he's going to threaten the wrong country, and then it'll be Armageddon. You overreactin', bruh, for real. Maybe. Anyway New Zealand should be far enough from the nuclear fallout.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-18 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-18 Pub. Date: 2018-03-18
Image Number: 168967
Caption: Every time there's a huge massacre, the anti-massacre snowflakes try to take away my arsenal. Don't they know what country they're in? This country was founded on guns. The laws that forbid the carrying of arms … disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes ... Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants ... for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man. - Thomas Jefferson. Thomas Jefferson never said that. And even if he had, you'd be resting your argument on the opinion of a slave owner. There they go playing the slavery card again. Well, you have to admit, if a guy thinks it's ok to treat people like property, that guy's judgment is suspect. That part of his judgment only applied to back then. The gun part applies to right now and forever ... because reasons. You know what he thought it was ok to do with his slaves?
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-13 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-13 Pub. Date: 2018-03-13
Image Number: 169394
Caption: I’m started an ongoing series on my news site where I cover stories the country has forgotten about. Dr. Noodle. I'll be covering how people are still being poisoned in Flint, how the Sioux are still fighting to keep an oil company from threatening their water supply, etc ... The preface I'm writing reminds people we're still at war in Afghanistan after 17 years ... Yes, yes. But the fact remains, I can't diagnose the entire country with amnesia without losing my license. C'mon, it would add so much to the preface.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-12 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-12 Pub. Date: 2018-03-12
Image Number: 169393
Caption: Hello, you've reached the Pentagon. Hi, Pentagon, this is Lemont Brown with the news site candorville.com. I'm writing a story, and I'm just wondering … could you remind me how many countries we're currently bombing? I wouldn't want to get it wrong. Is it still seven, or is it eight now? Click. Can I quote you on that?
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-02 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-02 Pub. Date: 2018-03-02
Image Number: 168931
Caption: Whachoodoin', bruh? You been on youtube all day. I'm arguing with some Ukrainian lady who posted a video accusing me of smearing her country by pointing out its growing neo Nazi problem. She said Ukraine's like any other country: minorities and foreigners are safe as long as they stick to the city center. And stick to the sunny side of the street in the city center. And stick to the hotel. And avoid the lobby ... I always avoid lobbies. That's where they get you ... and avoid room service.
     
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