Who are your stupid role-playing bears supposed to be today, doctor? Me and my father? Relax, Al. I'm cutting you a break. They're supposed to be Abbott and Costello!
Lance, I want to buy something nice for your birthday, but … what do you get for the man who has nothing? How about salt and pepper shakers in the shape of Abbott and Costello? That's technically something, but it would preserve my status as the man who has nothing.