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21. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-25 cost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-25 Pub. Date: 2017-04-25
Image Number: 157285
Caption: Susan called 911 on me, Clyde. She was trying to get them to come take me in for a heart attack she thought I was having. But they put her on hold. And after a while, she sort of fell asleep and I sort of snuck away. Whachoomean "sort of," Big L? Ain't no such thing as "sort of." Somethin' either be or be not, bruh. One ambulance ride and one day in the hospital would eat up my whole life savings. Dead people ain't got no life savings, bruh.
     
22. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-06 cost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-06 Pub. Date: 2017-04-06
Image Number: 156468
Caption: Do you have the time? How much is it worth to you? Colorblinded. What? I had to pay for this watch. And then there's the time it takes me to glance at my wrist … and time is money. I have to pass all those costs along to the time-asker. Not everything in life has to turn a profit, you know. Socialist.
     
23. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-03 cost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-03 Pub. Date: 2017-04-03
Image Number: 156465
Caption: So what if you can't get a mortgage to buy a house? If you really want to move to Canada, why not just rent? Because I've live in the same tiny $600 rent-controlled apartment my whole adult life, I've saved every month for decades, and I haven't bought a new computer since 2003. I've done all this so that one day I could afford to buy a house and have something to leave my son. Spending fifty billion dollars a month on rent might make that a little hard to do. You're exaggerating ... a little.
     
24. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-26 cost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-26 Pub. Date: 2016-12-26
Image Number: 152624
Caption: Hi momma. I'm back from Canada. It was beautiful there. Can I come visit you? I just want to see the old house. My old room. I don't know why. What do you mean "that'll be $125 a night"? I don't care what "the going rate" is on AirBnB. I'm your son … What do you mean try back in the off-season.
     
25. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-22 cost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-22 Pub. Date: 2016-09-22
Image Number: 148764
Caption: Sir, Concast Cable's interested in an ad campaign that'll soften up their image in advance of this mega-merger. When people think of their purchase of Slime-Warmer Cable, Concast wants them to think of a mom-and-pop store … and not a corporate behemoth that's going to slash thousands of jobs, create a monopoly and eventually jack up prices. This'll be tough. On the bright side, we get to charge them the "utter (censored)" fee. Yayle. CEO of the Year 2002.
     
26. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-14 cost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-14 Pub. Date: 2016-08-14
Image Number: 146528
Caption: It all started during the Republican National Convention, night two … Dr. Noodle … The night they put Hillary Clinton on fake trial. They found her "guilty" of everything from Benghazi to being the servant of the devil. I was just waiting for them to find her guilty of giving the empire the location of the rebel base on that ice planet. I couldn't stand her before, but all of the sudden, I became very pro-Hillary, and felt like I had to see her become president at all costs. It's only natural to want to come to someone's defense when you think they're being treated unfairly. I painted the hair on my Trump bobblehead blond.
     
27. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-02 cost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-02 Pub. Date: 2016-08-02
Image Number: 146689
Caption: What do you mean you "had no choice"? I checked my bank account this morning. Newspapers, coffee, lunch, bus fare, diapers, day care, movie tickets, clothes … It all adds up. It's like every day I leave the building, $50 vanishes from my wallet. Locking yourself on the roof all day is not the answer. I'm cold, hungry and my son's kinda stinky.
     
28. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-24 cost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-24 Pub. Date: 2016-06-24
Image Number: 144901
Caption: Thanks for walking me home, Clyde. No problem. The streets a very different place for women than they is for men. Least I could do is walk you home an' accept the $2 walk-home fee you agreed to. I thought you were joking. Psht! Write that on your electric bill an' see what they say.
     
29. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-21 cost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-21 Pub. Date: 2016-05-21
Image Number: 143337
Caption: I took Lionel to his second baseball game the other day. We hadn't been to a Candorville Chokers game in two years. Back then, two Choker dogs, cokes and fries cost me $38. Last night it cost me $48. Back then, all the players were like 10 years younger than I was. But now they are all like 15 years younger. Having a kid speeds up the aging process. Baseball still around?
     
30. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-11 cost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-11 Pub. Date: 2016-04-11
Image Number: 141796
Caption: Whachoo gone an' canceled cable for, bruh? It's too expensive and I didn't watch most of the channels. I can see all my favorite shows on Netflix and Hulu for a fraction of the cost. That's selfish. Think of the ramifications. Think of the cable workers who gonna lose they job if erebody cut cable. Wait ... how did you know I canceled cable? (A) I don't know what you implying, an' (2) I don't even know how to tap somebody line to secretly share they cable.
     
31. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-25 cost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-25 Pub. Date: 2015-10-25
Image Number: 133804
Caption: Every time a cop shoots a black man, someone tried to change the subject by saying "Yeah but … black-on-black crime is a much bigger problem." Let's imagine they did that for everything. Let's do this. "Taxes are too high." Yeh but … your rent cost a lot more, so whachoo whinin' 'bout? "Politicians don't listen to us." Yeh, but ... men don't truly listen to women in they relationships. Deal widdat first, if you serious about people bein' heard. "The city should fix these potholes." Yeh but ... erytime a big meteor hit us, it make craters biggern all the potholes combined. How I'm supposed to take you serious about them potholes when I ain't never heard you say nothin' about them asteroid craters?
     
32. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-01 cost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-01 Pub. Date: 2015-09-01
Image Number: 131899
Caption: I think you're wrong when you say Airbnb and things like it are ruining the economy and putting people out of work. A couple months ago, I was browsing their site. It made me really feel like traveling. So I took a weekend trip to Cameroon. But it turned out the Airbnb I loved wasn't any cheaper than a hotel, so I booked the hotel room. That's anecdotal evidence, Susan. Anecdotal evidence doesn't prove anything. How do you know that? Well ... from what I've seen, anecdotal evidence is often misleading.
     
33. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-14 cost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-14 Pub. Date: 2015-06-14
Image Number: 127781
Caption: Nobody could've known, back in 2003, that invading Iraq would be a bad idea. What're you talking about? Millions of people knew it. Millions of us. Millions of us said the reasons the Bush administration gave for invading sounded like flimsy nonsense. Not having WMDs was Saddam's plot to embarrass us. Daily Nutjob. Obama wet bed as child, covered it up. Goodnight Grandpa. Millions of us said it would cause a lot of unnecessary death, totally wreck the balance of power, cost us money we couldn't afford, create new enemies, and be a huge unmitigated disaster. It was entirely possible to know. Millions of us knew. General: Iraq would be stable if we had occupied it for only 75 more years. Well, nobody knew the people who knew were right to know what they knew. You know? No. ISIS destroys ancient ruins, erect statue of founding father Dick Cheney.
     
34. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-01 cost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-01 Pub. Date: 2015-03-01
Image Number: 123057
Caption: I'm so sick of Hollywood values. They clearly have nothing but hatred for America. That's nonsense. Why do you think Hollywood makes billions of dollars from millions of Americans every year? All those "Hollywood" values are actually American values. Millions of Americans engage in violence, promiscuity, and whatever else you see on your tv. On the other hand, millions of Americans practice all the kindness, selflessness and tolerance you also see on tv. Hollywood is just a mirror of our society. I only meant they charge a lot for movies and cable. Oh. Never mind, then. You're right.
     
35. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-26 cost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-26 Pub. Date: 2015-02-26
Image Number: 123399
Caption: So when do I get a copy of your book? February 45th. That's when I give out free copies of the thing I slaved for over two years to friends who think it's some kind of compliment to not pay me $8.95 for it. … Or tomorrow for friends who I forgot just bought me a $16 movie ticket. Dios Mio. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-01-24).
     
36. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-09 cost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-09 Pub. Date: 2015-01-09
Image Number: 121080
Caption: I'm pretty sure my appendix just ruptured. Don't you want to call an ambulance? No, I opted for the silver Obamacare plan. That means if I call an ambulance, I won't be charged thousands of dollars for it. If that happens, I won't be able to keep saying "Obamacare's done nothing for me" with a clear conscience. Now's not the time to think about politics. Spoken just like a - ouch - ... statist.
     
37. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-14 cost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-14 Pub. Date: 2014-10-14
Image Number: 117630
Caption: My blog gets 75,000 unique visitors every day, Clyde. But nobody's clicking on the ads, so all that traffic is actually costing me money. Well, have you thought of tracking down the readers an' threatening them? Good talk, Clyde. Plus it's a good way to get to know your readers. (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-05-22).
     
38. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-15 cost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-15 Pub. Date: 2014-09-15
Image Number: 116478
Caption: I'm kind of disappointed in Apple's new smart watch. It's a rectangle. That's so 1980s. Watches are pretty much the only jewelry a hairy-chested man can get away with wearing without looking like he's in the mafia. This watch just doesn’t work as man jewelry. It's too old-fashioned. You know what I'm saying? You sayin' you wanna feel better about the fact you can't afford that watch.
     
39. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-16 cost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-16 Pub. Date: 2014-08-16
Image Number: 114930
Caption: Hello, creditor, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. Paying 30% interest on the bus ticket you helped me buy 20 years ago is more important to me than survival. So I can't come to the phone right now, because I'm busy bundling all my cash to send to you instead of using it to feed my child, pay my rent and keep my lights on. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I'm done making money appear out of thin air. BEEP.
     
40. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-08 cost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-08 Pub. Date: 2014-08-08
Image Number: 114621
Caption: Lemont, this is what's called a "lucid dream." I'm asleep? Yes. You haven't been to therapy in a while, so you've dreamt up this session. While you're here, why not use it? But you're really just me. Therapy is mostly me helping you to answer your own questions, anyway. Do you have any questions? Is the real therapist going to charge me for this? Half price. (Originally published on 2012-02-10).
     
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