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Candorville

Comics about conditions and conditioning.

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Result page:    2  Next  (35 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-09 condition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-09 Pub. Date: 2019-08-09
Image Number: 178910
Caption: I read your one-sided article about the harsh conditions in our cozy camps. Border camps. So a few migrant kids and a few congresspeople told you the detainees were being mistreated. So what? That's just hearsay. Why don't you go see for yourself, and report the way it really is? Huh? Why? Because they won't let journalists in. Lame excuses.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-05 condition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-05 Pub. Date: 2019-04-05
Image Number: 177046
Caption: Looks like the President's finally going to destroy Obamacare. Millions would lose their insurance. Millions more would be thrown of Medicaid. Tens of thousands will die because they won't be covered anymore. On the bright side, I'll be able to tell all my old "pre-existing conditions" jokes again. They do say laughter keep you healthy.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-03 condition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-03 Pub. Date: 2019-03-03
Image Number: 176359
Caption: I'll take you back on one condition: No more cheating. Ok. Also, you'd better not even look at another woman. Ok. and you have to give me all your passwords so I can monitor all your social media accounts. Ok. And you have to go to counseling with me and admit how horrible a person you are. And you have to come home straight after work. And you have to get my permission to go anywhere else. And you can't talk to any females other than me or your mother. And you have to let me handle all your finances. And you have to keep quiet when my friends and family treat you like the trash you are for the rest of your life. I thought you said one condition. You life being over is one condition. Not to self: Never, ever, ever say take me back.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-25 condition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-25 Pub. Date: 2018-08-25
Image Number: 173659
Caption: Now that the air duct … or whatever it was … had led me back to 2018 … I was moments away from finally interviewing a child in one of Mr. Trump's internment camps. I could hear him, just around the corner. I heard him crying out for mama! over and over.. I had no idea what condition he would be in. But nothing I imagined could prepare me for what I would see. His crying grew more and more hysterical. I was just meters from him. I rounded the corner. And there, right before my eyes, was ... to be continued. Told you not to have that jumbo lemonade. Telling stories makes my mouth dry.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-18 condition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-18 Pub. Date: 2018-07-18
Image Number: 172927
Caption: Lemont Brown. Journalist. I'd like to see the conditions inside the internment camp and I'd like to interview the refugees. No, no, no, and no. What? What? I only asked you for two things but you said no four times. You didn't ask if I'd confirm that we black out the windows so the world can't see us mistreating refugees? And you didn't ask if I could confirm that we've been secretly whisking them away in the dead of night to parts unknown? No ... is this all starting to weigh on your conscience? No ... and no.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-16 condition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-16 Pub. Date: 2018-07-16
Image Number: 172925
Caption: You think my latest story's going to get me in trouble? Candorville.com. Exclusive! Journalist who may or may not be me breaks into Mayor Thump's top-secret refugee prison, exposes horrid conditions. Nah, I think you'll be fine. Cops pulled me over three times today. Coincidence. I was on skates.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-12 condition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-12 Pub. Date: 2017-02-12
Image Number: 153753
Caption: I'll take you back on one condition: No more cheating. Ok. Also, you'd better not even look at another woman. Ok. And you have to give me all your passwords so I can monitor all your social media accounts. Ok. And you have to go to counseling with me and admit how horrible a person you are. And you have to come home straight after work. And you have to get my permission to go anywhere else. And you can't talk to any females other than me or your mother. And you have to let me handle all your finances. And you have to keep quiet when my friends and family treat you like the trash you are for the rest of your life. I thought you said one condition. "Your life being over" IS one condition. Note to self: Never, ever, ever say "take me back."
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-22 condition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-22 Pub. Date: 2016-11-22
Image Number: 151295
Caption: 1982. Lemont, if neither of us is in love with anyone by the time we're 40, wanna marry each other? Only on one condition. You'd have to agree to give me space whenever I need it. It's important for a man to be able to be alone with his thoughts and his comic books. Also, you'd have to sign an agreement promising you'll watch Star Trek with me at least once a week, even if you're not in the mood. That makes two conditions. Also, you'll have to agree not to ever bring up math.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-28 condition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-28 Pub. Date: 2016-03-28
Image Number: 141133
Caption: Whachoo wanna watch, Big L? The end of hatred. I want to watch the end of terror, the end of war, the end of killing, the end of brutality. The end of people having to live in fear of other people. I want to watch mankind finally decide to just get along with itself. I don't think that be on. (Sigh) Just put on "Gilligan's Island."
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-10 condition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-10 Pub. Date: 2015-08-10
Image Number: 130933
Caption: I just watched "Deep Space Nine" all the way through for the eighth time. But this time I didn't enjoy it very much. I was … bored. What does that say about me? Could it be I have a thyroid problem or cardiac condition or some other illness that causes depression? Maybe it just means you'd already seen it seven times. I tried to schedule a doctor appointment, but they refused. Thanks a lot, Obamacare.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-11 condition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-11 Pub. Date: 2015-07-11
Image Number: 129286
Caption: I can't believe your son's almost three, and I've still never met him. When I won custody, my ex agreed not to appeal the decision as long as Lionel's never in your presence. Roxanne doesn't want Lionel to know there are women out there who're much nicer than she it. Yeah, well it's awful that she singled me out. She didn't. Legally, I'm only allowed to date ladies I meet on stuckupharpy.com.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-24 condition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-24 Pub. Date: 2011-11-24
Image Number: 73210
Caption: I don’t see why you need a playpen for a two-year-old. That's why 2 million Americans in prison today. In our most impressionable years … … They get us used to a cot, a couple toys and four claustrophobic walls topped with barbed wire. You were an awful child. I was four before I realized that was just a Teddy Ruxpin in the guard tower.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-23 condition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-23 Pub. Date: 2011-10-23
Image Number: 66463
Caption: On Today's Sunday Morning Political Show, we have -- BOOOO! Um ... We have the audience from the last few republican presidential debates. The ones who booed a gay soldier ... ... Cheered at the thought of a hypothetical comatose man dying because he has no health insurance ... ... And errupted with joy at the mere mention that Rick Perry executed people. ... Lots of people. Thank you for joining us, debate audience. I don't deserve to be here. I've been bad. I've gotten used to the notion that we're all in this society together. Whip me. Take away my unemployment insurance ... Um ... We'll be right back. Let my HMO deny me because of pre-existing conditions again! I deserve it! Punish me!
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-15 condition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-15 Pub. Date: 2011-10-15
Image Number: 66570
Caption: What's the matter with you? That. That what? I was zoning out, existing in a blissful limbo, unaware of the passage of time and space: oblivious to my own condition. But because an observer suspects something is wrong with me, I'm actively examining myself. And if I fail to find a problem, I'm likely to concoct one in order to furnish the observer with an answer ... Or you could just say "nothing." Nothing!
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-23 condition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-23 Pub. Date: 2011-03-23
Image Number: 58863
Caption: What do you mean, what tsunami? The one in Japan! Don't you ever watch the news? No I don't watch the news. The news gonna tell me: politicians corrupt? Nature kill people? People kill people? Celebrities act like fools? Only the names and places change, but the story always the same: we fragile animals here for just a minute before we gone; and while we here, we sometimes wreak havoc, but sometimes we help each other. Only you can make ignorance sound wise. Thanks, dawg. But lots of people can do that.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-20 condition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-20 Pub. Date: 2011-03-20
Image Number: 58582
Caption: I'm tired of people saying that Republicans are being heartless when they try to strip labor unions of the right to collectively bargain. States are facing huge budget deficits caused by their need to provide expensive vital services, coupled with billions of dollars of tax giveaways to corporations and low property taxes. Sure, labor unions seem to agree that their members have to take pay cuts and contribute more to their retirement and health-care plans, but ... they don't want to give up their right to demand safe working conditions and whatnot. Do you know how expensive it is to provide safe working conditions? Less expensive than treating cancer? A little asbestos never hurt anyone.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-06-19 condition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-06-19 Pub. Date: 2010-06-19
Image Number: 48470
Caption: How can something weighing millions of billions of tons fly through the air? I mean, you don't find that in nature. Look at fat birds, for instance … Your fat birds - chickens, turkeys, ostriches - they're not flying all around up in the sky. I'M TRYING TO SLEEP! Well you won't get much sleep if you're yelling. Anyway, you notice all the birds up in the air are anorexic. Take your average buzzard ...
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-22 condition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-22 Pub. Date: 2010-01-22
Image Number: 43150
Caption: What's wrong, son? Nothing. Sometimes it's easier to confess your demons to a stranger than to loved ones. Strangers ain't got no baggage with you, so they're often more compassionate than loved ones. You ever hate y'self so much that you pretended you had amnesia so you wouldn't have to be you no more? No, that's just crazy.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-31 condition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-31 Pub. Date: 2009-12-31
Image Number: 42485
Caption: Swallow this pill now, Lemont. It's an antipsychotic. It's your last chance. Swallow it and you'll wake up in Sunnyville Sanitarium. Everything will be normal again. Don't swallow it, and your hallucinations that you're some sort of epic hero will worsen. You'll sink into paranoia, see demons everywhere, and plummet into a dark, hopeless chasm of insanity and drool. Do you have chewables? I have a gag reflex, so I'd rather ... TAKE THE PILL!
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-25 condition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-25 Pub. Date: 2009-09-25
Image Number: 38662
Caption: Are you the anti-universal health care protestor? I'm with Dubble Cross Health Insurance. We can't cover your accident. You'll have to vacate this bed. What? Why? You apparently neglected to mention a pre-existing condition: you once were wrenched from a tight space and a part of your body was severed, resulting in trauma. ... You mean I was BORN? In layman's terms. Well-played. I thought you'd like it. Here's your bill.
     
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