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Candorville

Comics about computers.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-06 computer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-06 Pub. Date: 2019-06-06
Image Number: 177955
Caption: I heard about how the police raided your home office, took your computers an' whatnot. Yeah. I wrote an article about police abuse of power based info a source leaked to me. You never shoulda did that, bruh. What was you thinking? I was thinking this was America. That's fake news.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-11 computer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-11 Pub. Date: 2018-12-11
Image Number: 175376
Caption: I just downloaded your Christmas album. Good man. How on earth did you create that obscene rap battle between you and him? I mean, did he actually say those things … or did you hire a voice actor? Computers, bruh. I went through his must an' rearranged vowels an' consonants an' what not. Thank god. I'd hate to think Nat King Cole ever even knew those words. The video was harder to make.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-16 computer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-16 Pub. Date: 2017-11-16
Image Number: 164873
Caption: Dick Fink, I want you to find out for me if there are any book tours happening in Djibouti. Can't, ma'am. I've recently converted to orthodox Buddhism. I can't use my phone or computer right now because obviously that would interfere with my 12-hour daily meditation. You wouldn't want to discriminate against an employee by forcing him to violate his religion would you? I've never heard of "orthodox" Buddhism. Maybe the answers you seek will come to me when I reach the sixth level of meditation.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-03 computer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-03 Pub. Date: 2017-04-03
Image Number: 156465
Caption: So what if you can't get a mortgage to buy a house? If you really want to move to Canada, why not just rent? Because I've live in the same tiny $600 rent-controlled apartment my whole adult life, I've saved every month for decades, and I haven't bought a new computer since 2003. I've done all this so that one day I could afford to buy a house and have something to leave my son. Spending fifty billion dollars a month on rent might make that a little hard to do. You're exaggerating ... a little.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-10 computer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-10 Pub. Date: 2017-03-10
Image Number: 155383
Caption: When did you know you were in love with Vancouver? It happened one night over Skype … I said "we must be double-planets, because our barycenter is somewhere between us in space, outside of either of our bodies … and because in our orbit around it, we're tidally locked, unable to turn away form one another." When she bit her lip and told me "that was so sexy" instead of slowly backing away from her computer, I knew it was true love. Dios mio.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-12 computer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-12 Pub. Date: 2017-01-12
Image Number: 153089
Caption: Lemont Brown's Credo page 12. #96: This, I believe: Nobody "knows" anything. It's entirely possible that our universe is merely a computer simulation. If that's the case, then God, science … EVERYTHING … could have been written - and can be arbitrarily CHANGED - at the whim of the programmer ... It's the only explanation for all these hipsters who've suddenly sprouted huge lumberjack beards.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-11 computer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-11 Pub. Date: 2017-01-11
Image Number: 153088
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I was playing "Simcity" the other day when it occurred to me … We may all be just a computer simulation. There's evidence of that everywhere. All computer programs have glitches, for instance. We see those glitches all the time. We call them "deja vu." I'm pretty sure we've had this conversation before. I knew you were going to say that.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-23 computer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-23 Pub. Date: 2016-11-23
Image Number: 151296
Caption: Dick, would you get Lemont Brown on the phone for me? Sorry, it's against my religion. I've converted to being Amish. We're not allowed to use phones, or computers, or copiers … or anything else you might ask me to do. Pretty sure the Amish do use phones, Dick. I'm not sure I'm supposed to be listening to backtalk from the womenfolk.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-21 computer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-21 Pub. Date: 2016-08-21
Image Number: 146823
Caption: No, momma, I didn't see that post on "The Newsfeed." Remember, momma, I told you everyone sees a different newsfeed tailored just for them. It's based on what we search for online, what we type, etc … Ok, watch … load Facebook. "Load" means … never mind ... turn on the Facebook. Ok, now tell me what's on your screen. Uh-huh ... Uh-huh ... See? That's the perfect example, momma ... I don't see a single post about Idris Elba's booty on MY newsfeed. And I'd like to stop talking about this now.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-30 computer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-30 Pub. Date: 2016-04-30
Image Number: 142414
Caption: Why do I keep a journal of my son's firsts? Because they're precious moments. Why they "precious"? … Because they happen once and then they're gone forever, living only in a parent's memories. Is they still precious if they ALSO live on in your hard drive, the NSA files and Edward Snowman's briefcase? First time I've ever heard Clyde be so deep. Yeah. I wish I'd recorded that. You ain't never learnin'. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-04-02).
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-14 computer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-14 Pub. Date: 2016-02-14
Image Number: 138656
Caption: I put spyware on my son's computer. Last night, I saw what he's been looking at. Now I feel so guilty. He was watching dozens of Youtube videos detailing the theory that Jar Jar Binks was actually the most powerful evil Jedi in all of "Star Wars." I watched them all. They showed clips from the prequels where Jar Jar was clearly using the Jedi mind trick to manipulate everyone around him. Isaac Asimov was a huge "Star Wars" inspiration. These videos pointed out how Binks is eerily similar to a deceptively buffoonish character named "The Mule" in Asimov's "Foundation" series. It's undeniable. Jar Jar was the real "Phantom Menace," and Lucas must've abandoned that whole idea when we all jumped down his throat about the character. So ... you feel guilty for spying on your child since he wasn't doing anything wrong? I feel guilty for giving George Lucas such a hard time about Phantom Menace. The man was a genius.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-28 computer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-28 Pub. Date: 2015-08-28
Image Number: 131717
Caption: Before I forget, yo' momma want you to write her more often. An' before I forget, Double-Cross raisin' your insurance premiums by $100. An' before I forget, Feudalbanc Massacard fraud prevention wanna know if you really bought six tubes of Preparation H. And before I forget, I need to change my passwords more often. I don't even wanna know why you need six tubes.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-26 computer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-26 Pub. Date: 2015-08-26
Image Number: 131715
Caption: Can I use your computer when you done, Big L. No, Clyde. With just a few clicks, you'd have access to my journal, my bank account, my photos and my browser history. Or you could download a virus or do something illegal and I'd get blamed for it. When have I ever done anything like that today? Forget it.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-10 computer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-10 Pub. Date: 2015-07-10
Image Number: 129285
Caption: I've known you were brilliant from the moment I met you, son. I bwilliant fwumma moment you met me. You've always done everything at least a year before you're supposed to. I alwayth done evwything a peath a yeaw befowe I thpth too. Watching you develop is like watching a computer boot up much faster than it ordinarily would. You lotht me on that one.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-15 computer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-15 Pub. Date: 2015-01-15
Image Number: 121387
Caption: Lemont Brown's Credo. Page 12. #46: This, I believe: Nobody "knows" anything. It's entirely possible that our universe is merely a computer simulation. If that's the case, then God, science ... EVERYTHING ... could have been written - and can be arbitrarily CHANGED - at the whim of the programmer. It's the only explanation for all these hipsters who've suddenly sprouted huge lumberjack beards.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-14 computer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-14 Pub. Date: 2015-01-14
Image Number: 121386
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I was playing "Simcity" the other day when it occurred to me ... We may all be just a computer simulation. There's evidence of that everywhere. All computer programs have glitches, for instance. We see those glitches all the time. We call them "deja vu." I'm pretty sure we've had this conversation before. I knew you were going to say that.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-25 computer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-25 Pub. Date: 2014-09-25
Image Number: 116764
Caption: My Mac broke down, and I replaced it with a PC, and now I regret it. You should, dawg. Why you didn’t come to me? I coulda hooked you up. I know a guy. He an' I done a lot of business. He coulda set you up with a top-of-the-line system for cheap. Long as you ain't ask too many questions. Would I get a credit for what I'd end up spending on my bail? (A) Don't stereotype, bruh ... an' (2) Yes.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-24 computer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-24 Pub. Date: 2014-09-24
Image Number: 116763
Caption: Why didn’t you tell me your Mac broke down, Lemont? Because you'd gloat. Of course I wouldn’t gloat. I'd be too busy being frozen in shock that an infallible fusion of machine and heaven could ever break. Thanks for not gloating, Susan. Have you tried rebooting its angel feathers?
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-23 computer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-23 Pub. Date: 2014-09-23
Image Number: 116762
Caption: My Mac died on me again, so I thought I'd finally, after all these years, try a PC. You use a PC at work, right? Would you know how to fix a glitch? Maybe. What sort of glitch? Every time I tried installing an FTP program, it would also install an "optimizer," a "vacation planner" and a video of a cat boxing with a gerbil. You wanna know how to uninstall the programs you didn't want? I wanna know how to uninstall the angry-dent my fist put in the keyboard.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-22 computer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-22 Pub. Date: 2014-09-22
Image Number: 116761
Caption: Zombiac … Truman speaking. Hi, Truman, it's Lemont Brown. I was in a couple years ago. I brought you a new iMac and asked you to take out its guts and squeeze them into my beautiful old 2004 iMac's chassis. Well it just died, Truman. If I bring it in, you will fix it free of charge, right? Sir, do you still have a copy of the warranty I gave you? I thought I did, but I just have a paper with "ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha" written over and over in tiny print. No, that's the one.
     
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