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Candorville

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61. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-04-19 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-19 Pub. Date: 2012-04-19
Image Number: 79550
Caption: Scuse me, you know how to get to west 73rd street. Yeah. Take the 409 east to Slauson, go straight past that fool Dwayne on the corner … Hang a left, another left … two more lefts … … Get back on the 409 west, exit on Florence, go two blocks and you're there. Need me to write that down? Y'know, it's okay to say "I don't know."
     
62. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-26 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-26 Pub. Date: 2011-06-26
Image Number: 62378
Caption: You've reached Slummlerd Apartments. How may we hinder you? I'm Lemont Brown, apartment 38. Last week you raised my rent another $40. Today, I got a notice you're charging me a $195 "rental assessment fee." The city charges us an annual fee to assess how much we're allowed to raise your rent. They let us pass the assessment fee on to you. I"m already paying you $1,350! $1,390 this month, if you include the assessment fee. So instead of helping us out in these tough times, you're nickel-and-diming tenants who already pay you thousands per month. Do you know how insulting that is? Are you asking me to assess the situation? NO! NEVER MIND.
     
63. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-08-12 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-08-12 Pub. Date: 2010-08-12
Image Number: 50721
Caption: Not to bring you down, but … … I interviewed the ghost of a Hurricane Katrina victim. Maybe I imagined it. I don't know. But could you blame me? I watched an American city drown. I watched mostly black bodies floating across my TV … … I watched as some people shot black refugees rather than help them. if you can watch that and NOT go crazy, you're not human. what does "not to bring you down" mean on your planet?
     
64. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-07-25 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-07-25 Pub. Date: 2010-07-25
Image Number: 49785
Caption: Dear Dimwit … I just read your latest blog post about the executives at Behemoth Oil who keep saying the oil spill that flooded the whole city wasn't actually all that bad. You called them "liars." Where do you get off insulting people like that? You don't know them. Only a stupid moron with no real argument would resort to insults, you idiot. Irony isn't lost on this guy, it ran away. Is your whole family as dumb as you, or are you a mutant?
     
65. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-06-28 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-06-28 Pub. Date: 2010-06-28
Image Number: 49030
Caption: Hotel X. I grew up poor. People thought I wouldn't go anywhere in life. But now I'm a big-time reporter and my newspaper flew me to another city to give a speech to 2,000 people. At last ... Dignity. Success. Respect. Snap. Snap! Valet. Valet!
     
66. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-28 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-28 Pub. Date: 2009-12-28
Image Number: 42482
Caption: What's more likely, Lemont? That you had a psychotic break and you're lying on a gurney in Sunnyville sanitarium, hallucinating? Or that you and your therapist are stuck in Mexico, where we were kidnapped, chased by wolves, had tea with the most brutal drug cartel boss in Juarez ... ... And now you're going to interview a demon called La Llorona who steals the souls of the city's children? You're right. That's absurd. My HMO would NEVER cover hallucinations.
     
67. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-03 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-03 Pub. Date: 2009-12-03
Image Number: 41432
Caption: I thought I knew the evil of gangs. Drive-bys, carjackings, garish bandanas … But y'know what? Americans don't know what hard-core gangs are. They're MUCH worse here in Mexico. Hmph. What would you know about gangs? I counseled gangbangers at Folsom Prison for eight years. I own the "New Jack City" DVD. It's not a competition.
     
68. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-20 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-20 Pub. Date: 2009-09-20
Image Number: 38474
Caption: You don't run much, do you? I run a lot. Monday I ran six miles. Tuesday I ran fifteen miles in under three hours. Wednesday I ran about ten miles to work and back. Thursday was my big run. I ran 26 miles, all the whole city. Thup thup thup thup thup thup thup. Friday I ran fifteen miles again. Sounds like you need a car.
     
69. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-06-30 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-06-30 Pub. Date: 2009-06-30
Image Number: 35733
Caption: Two weeks ago … Twitter. IranProtestr: In city sq. fighting 4 liberty & freedom. IranProtestr: History in the making. Everything changes 2day. IranProtestr: Farzad sez this hijab makes me look fat. Never talk 2 him again. Wut a luzr. Thank God George Washington didn't have Twitter. IranProtestr: Here come police and ... Farzad IS cute tho.
     
70. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-04-27 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-04-27 Pub. Date: 2009-04-27
Image Number: 31996
Caption: So this is the inner city. I hear violence is so out of control that the government wants to take away everyone's guns. Maybe even yours, inner-city specimen. I don't have a gun. You don't? Contrary to stereotypes, most people in the inner city don't carry weapons. Good. Hand over the clothes or die, hobo. That's a spork.
     
71. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-04-19 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-04-19 Pub. Date: 2009-04-19
Image Number: 31629
Caption: Foreclosed. Eviction. Mmmm. The City Times. We're out of business. Last good issue. Goodbye.
     
72. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-04-03 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-04-03 Pub. Date: 2009-04-03
Image Number: 31252
Caption: Twitter. Lemont Brown: Somehow got away from vampire. Lemont Brown: Maybe 'cause sun came up. Anyway, stumbled and fell off cliff. Lemont Brown: In free-fall. Can see city from here. Think I see my apartment. Lemont Brown: Will post again after I call ambulance. Buzzard just gave me funny look.
     
73. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-03-26 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-03-26 Pub. Date: 2009-03-26
Image Number: 31150
Caption: We spent 30 years demonizing big cities, the welfare queens, the stars with fake… (Oops, lost my notecard…) (Oh, here it is) …identities. Lysol, get the hook. Guess what I'm sayin' is, that made you mad. But I think we can fix it with a simple "my bad." Back! Back! I know karate! WAOOWOAAAAH! Get off the stage!
     
74. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-03-23 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-03-23 Pub. Date: 2009-03-23
Image Number: 31147
Caption: Meanwhile, in the city… Where are you taking me?! Where are you taking me?! Make some noise one more time for my man Joaquin Phoenix! Clap. Yeh. All right. Man, this club is wack. It ain't that bad. Next up, we got someone new to the stage… Erebody make some noise for Republic National Committee Chairman MICHAEL STEELE! I'm going to Denny's. Y'all like bling? The GOP's got ya' bling. What!
     
75. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-03-09 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-03-09 Pub. Date: 2009-03-09
Image Number: 30801
Caption: Do you think I'm crazy, Lemont? N-YES. What I've seen would drive any other dude bat-spit insane, but not me. I'm gonna crack you in the head any second now. What?! Why did I-- --Tell me the truth? Why can't you flee? I spiked your beer with truth serum and an ancient paralytic enzyme. Ok, maybe I'm a teensy bit crazy. I actually liked "Sex and the City." D'oh!
     
76. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-13 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-13 Pub. Date: 2009-01-13
Image Number: 29374
Caption: Are you from the great house farm too? Huh? Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, shorty? I am Frederick Augustus Washington Bailey. I belong to Captain Anthony. I think perchance I am lost: last I remember, I had purloined an apple and was hiding behind a tarred fence. I believe I fell asleep. Upon awakening, I found myself in this strange place. What do you call this farm? "The Inner City." Never before have I glimpsed a plantation of such mammoth proportions!
     
77. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-12-04 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-12-04 Pub. Date: 2008-12-04
Image Number: 28420
Caption: I used to feel like football players were champions fighting for our whole city's honor. Now I just feel like I'm watchin' a bunch of multimillionaires working. Like I'm eating hot dogs while watching Warren Buffet sell stock. RAAAAAAAGH! Good talk.
     
78. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-05 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-05 Pub. Date: 2008-10-05
Image Number: 27187
Caption: I'm Elmer Humbug, from the heartland. I just can't vote fer that Obama. He wants me to inflate m'tires. An' also, he eats arugula. Any salad green with more'n two syllables is uppity. Four syllables, an' its patriotism is suspect. Anyways, what line o' work you in, city dude? I'm a blogger, and you? Farmer. Salt o' the earth, I tell you. Raise crops like lettuce, squash, arugula, spring wheat, radishes... Wait. go back? Spring wheat. Further back. I'm Elmer- Not that far.
     
79. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-27 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-27 Pub. Date: 2008-09-27
Image Number: 26927
Caption: Ever feel like something big is about to happen to you? Like the city's about to call and tell you you've won the lottery? Or you're about to meet the love of your life once you turn the corner? Oh. Never mind. It was just gas. "Was"?
     
80. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-07-06 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-07-06 Pub. Date: 2008-07-06
Image Number: 24667
Caption: Here we have a system of roads and bridges, a potent symbol of American industrial might! Bidding starts at $2 billion. $2 billion! $3.8 billion! We have $3.8 billion. $3.8 billion going once… $3.8 billion going twice… SOLD! To the gentleman from Australia. Where's the "Thundercats" Underoos auction? Pauly Ballroom, 4th floor. Pardon mois, monsieur, has zee Statue of Liberty sold yet? Not yet. Oh HO HO! We are thinking of buying eet back. Next up, the New York City skyline. Bidding starts at $3 billion. Guten tag! Ve vill bid $4 billion euros! 6 billion dirhams! Salam aleikum.
     
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