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Candorville

Comics about chewing.

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Result page:     (9 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-08 chew 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-08 Pub. Date: 2019-09-08
Image Number: 179293
Caption: Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadieshow@gmail.com. Dear Ask Sadie, My best friend chews, loudly, with his mouth open. It embarrasses me every time we eat out. I'm afraid if I point it out, it'll ruin our friendship. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can get the point across without hurting his feelings? - Andrea in Anaheim. Excellent question. Here's what you do ... Next time you eat lunch with your friend, bring a newspaper. Every time he chews with his mouth open, roll up the newspaper and swat him on the nose with it. Then say It works for my poodle. If he laughs instead of pressing charges, you'll know you've got a real friend. *MGMT accepts no responsibility for the possibly horrendous consequences of Sadie Cohen's advice. Use at your own risk.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-01 chew 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-01 Pub. Date: 2019-09-01
Image Number: 179190
Caption: I want you to work on something when you get home, minion. I'm supposed to be able to rest once I've gone home. I've always wanted to have a trademark one-liner, like the heroes of all those old action movies. Like in Cobra. Sylvester Stallone was a rogue cop who told a criminal You're the disease, and I'm the cure. Or like in Total Recall, when Arnold Schwarzenegger's wife turned out to be an evil killer. He eliminated her and then said Consider that a divorce. Or like in They live, when just before he killed a bunch of evil aliens, Rowdy Roddy Piper said "I have come here to chew bubblegum, and kick (butt) ... and I'm al out of bubblegum. Your task tonight is to generate six one-liners I can use whenever I squeeze unpaid work out of my employees. I'm supposed to be able to rest once I've gone home. You're the rest, and I'm the bed. The kind with spikes on it ... See? That's awful. Fix that up and give me sixe more.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-07 chew 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-07 Pub. Date: 2018-06-07
Image Number: 172071
Caption: Given enough time, audiences know what to expect, Rosencrantz. And with expectation comes acceptance. Give them crudty, and that is what they will accept. Give them erudition, and they will rise to accept that. Feed them a diet of lies, and they will learn to crave them. I still would prefer to eat my sandwiches before you've chewed them. Give it time.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-22 chew 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-22 Pub. Date: 2017-12-22
Image Number: 166287
Caption: Doc, I've been coming here for years. I feel pretty happy. I'm thinking maybe I don't need therapy anymore. That makes perfect sense. It's like when you look in the mirror and see you've finally got bright, shiny teeth. There must be no need to keep brushing them if they're no longer decrepit and begrimed. Brains and teeth are two completely different things. Really? Let's chew on that thought for a moment ...
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-25 chew 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-25 Pub. Date: 2016-12-25
Image Number: 151999
Caption: You know what really, really bugs me? People who get all upset just because I always let my dog off his leash where I'm not supposed to. Last week, Killer and I were taking our usual stroll in the park. I let the little fella off his leash just so he could get some real exercise. He deserves it as much as anyone. When he got maybe 1,000 feet from me, he came across some kid's birthday party. Killer's a curious little fella, so naturally he darted into the Bouncy House. Next thing you know, there was all this screaming, just 'cause Killer started licking the birthday boy's face and chewing on his hair. All that screaming hurt poor Killer's feelings, so naturally he started growling. Then I told them Killer was friendly, so that should've been that, right? Can you believe they demanded I buy the kid new pants? It's not my fault they never potty trained him. Forget the dogs, it's the owners who should have to get licensed.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-13 chew 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-13 Pub. Date: 2015-11-13
Image Number: 135010
Caption: Doc, I've been coming here for years. I feel pretty happy. I'm thinking maybe I don't need therapy anymore. Dr. Noodle. That makes perfect sense. It's like when you look in the mirror and see you've finally got bright, shiny teeth. M.A. There must be no need to keep brushing them if they're no longer decrepit and begrimed. Brains and teeth are two completely different things. Really? Let's chew on that thought for a moment ...
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-09-22 chew 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-09-22 Pub. Date: 2013-09-22
Image Number: 101338
Caption: Case #17700503-A: Lemont Brown. Compiled by Federal Agent Eugene O. Murphy. 7:42 pm - Neatly folds chewed gum into wrapper & puts it in pocket, instead of sticking it under seat. Clearly un-American activity.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-19 chew 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-19 Pub. Date: 2011-05-19
Image Number: 60999
Caption: I really am sorry! I was riding the subway to court to testify for you … … But my dog chewed the bolts off the back door of the train and leapt out into the pitch black tunnel. I jumped out and chased her, but another train almost ran me over. I rolled between the rails at the last second and the train passed over me, with only inches to spare. Then the train broke down and I was stuck under it till morning. Psshh! Yeah right, I've heard that one before.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-10-20 chew 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-10-20 Pub. Date: 2006-10-20
Image Number: 15023
Caption: Can you believe it's been exactly three years since I brought you guys here? Three years. Three long years, filled with futile wars, stolen elections, lost cities, new jobs, receding hairlines, babies born, icons dying … Three whole years, you guys. Lemont, I'm sure that's not the same gum you put under the table. Don't y'all ever clean up in here?
     
Result page:     (9 images)