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Candorville

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-09 character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-09 Pub. Date: 2019-11-09
Image Number: 180285
Caption: I sense the tides have shifted, Rosencrantz. The pendulum has reversed its swing. A page has been turned. A new character has entered stage left. And nothing will ever, ever be the same. The tale has been sent down a fateful path, which ends either in exaltation or oblivion, we know not which. Oh ... wait ... perchance I just have gas. Serves you right for stealing my week-old sandwich.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-17 character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-17 Pub. Date: 2019-10-17
Image Number: 179917
Caption: Jodie at work called me a Type A person. It offended me. Type A's are ambitious, outgoing, proactive, concerned with time-management … but they're also rigidly organized. I specifically planned to be flexibly organized at this point of my life. Couldn't you just move flexible to your fifties? That would throw everything off!!!
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-19 character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-19 Pub. Date: 2019-09-19
Image Number: 179501
Caption: What'd you want to talk about, Lemont? Susan … How do I say this? Every seven years, the Vulcan male experiences Pon Farr and has to return home to mate, or die. I'll put it another way: Even the most blood-thirsty Klingon warrior eventually needs to find his Parmaqqay. Put it another way. Every incarnation of Doctor Who needs a companion?
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-29 character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-29 Pub. Date: 2019-07-29
Image Number: 178781
Caption: Thank you for coming in on your day off, minion. It reflects well on your character. I thought my job depended on it. I don't know how you got that impression. I would never force you to come in on your day off. That would be illegal. You said Come in on your day off. Your job depends on it. Rudy, Rudy, Rudy ... that's just a figure of speech. You went on to say I mean it. That's not just a figure of speech. That was a figure of speech too.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-02 character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-02 Pub. Date: 2019-01-02
Image Number: 175658
Caption: Ever since I was five and saw The Menagerie, I wondered what it'd be like to see a Star Trek series featuring Captain Pike. I'm finally getting that, sort of, on season 2 of Star Trek Discovery. Proves nothin', bruh. I ain't even sure what that all mean. It's like you threw a bunch of random nerd words together an' pretended it made a point. Captain Picard is back, too. And so's The Orville. I'm just sayin, that and a new season of the expanse means 2019 is the year miracles happen. Stop that.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-01 character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-01 Pub. Date: 2018-05-01
Image Number: 171053
Caption: I think you take Star Trek a little too seriously, Lemont. I do not. I just think that it's a good show. A good show that has fun characters … who happen to be a shining symbol of mankind's ability to overcome our barbarism and selfishness and evolve into the noble and ingenious paragon of animals we're meant to be. I rest my case. I mean ... it's pretty good. Worth checking out.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-13 character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-13 Pub. Date: 2018-02-13
Image Number: 168414
Caption: 1982. Did you get Superman for your birthday. Sort of. I should've been more specific. Momma gave me a video called Abar: The First Black Superman. Instead of fighting Lex Luthor, Abar the first black Superman fights housing discrimination. You should ask your momma to exchange it. I did. She said When it comes to black superheroes, it's slim pickings, whatever that means.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-16 character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-16 Pub. Date: 2018-01-16
Image Number: 167356
Caption: I've considered what you said, about how every story, change only occurs after an interlude. But those are stories, Rosencrantz, not real life. In real life, the biggest changes often occur randomly and unexpectedly. There usually is no calm before the storm. We often jarringly shift from one storm to the next. And unlike with fictional characters, the actions of real people often don't make sense. I still demand to know why you took my shoe. (Originally published on 2015-12-29).
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-24 character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-24 Pub. Date: 2017-11-24
Image Number: 165151
Caption: You look like Big Bird. Excuse me? No I don't. And didn't your mom ever tell you not to talk to strangers? You're not a stranger. You're Big Bird. I've been watching you all my life. I. Am. Not. Big Bird. Sing "Riding a Tricycle," Big Bird. I'm not going to ask twice. It's my day off, kid.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-28 character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-28 Pub. Date: 2017-08-28
Image Number: 162087
Caption: You know how Marvel had heroes star in separate movies, and then they all united in "The Avengers"? And then on Netflix Marvel had separate series, and then they all united in "The Defenders"? Why don't newspaper comic strips do that? You've got a couple hundred separate characters who've been building an audience for decades. What if the protagonists from "The Oldersons," "23 Skiddoo" and "Should've Ended in 1950" got together? It'd be epic. They could call it "The Dependers." Careful, you ain't all that young neither, bruh.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-16 character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-16 Pub. Date: 2017-05-16
Image Number: 158077
Caption: Lemont, we have need of you. What the -- Color-blinded. I am the harbinger, I'm … Here to warn me about a calamity threatening the entire multiverse. DC Comics' "Crisis on Infinite Earths," 1985. Oh … wait … this must be Earth Prime, where heroes only exist ... Heroes only exist as comic book characters or as dreams. Anyway, why are you in my dream? I was due to testify before Congress about President Trump's Russia ties, but Trump fired me. So I have some free time.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-23 character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-23 Pub. Date: 2017-01-23
Image Number: 153701
Caption: I sense the tides have shifted, Rosencrantz. The pendulum has reversed its swing. A page has been turned. A new character has entered stage left. And nothing will ever, ever be the same. The tale has been sent down a fateful path, which ends either in exaltation or oblivion, we know not which. Oh ... wait ... perchance I just have gas. Served you right for stealing my week-old sandwich.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-31 character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-31 Pub. Date: 2016-08-31
Image Number: 147921
Caption: Not everything is about race, Clyde. You tryin' to tell me Hollywood don't have a "magical Negro" problem? You ain't noticed all the movies where a black character come outta nowhere an' has no purpose at all other than to teach white people how to solve problems? Yeah, but that's not racial. There are plenty of characters of all races who have no purpose other than to teach people lessons. And let's not forget Yoda. Confusing the issue, you are.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-30 character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-30 Pub. Date: 2016-08-30
Image Number: 147920
Caption: That trailer for Eddie Murphy's "Mr. Church" don't look like nothin' but "Driving Miss Daisy Part 2." It look like it literally a film about a brotha who spend decades serving white people an' tryin' to be part of they family instead of makin' his own. I was willin' to look the other way when he was talkin' to animals, and when a tree made him shut up for a whole movie, an' when he played a donkey. But when he play a black man who want nothin' outta life but to cook grits for two white women, I draw the line. It's a true story!!! That makes it ok.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-29 character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-29 Pub. Date: 2016-08-29
Image Number: 147919
Caption: Clyde, have you seen the trailer for that new Eddie Murphy movie? Yes, "Magical Negro." I seen it. It's not called "Magical Negro." You mean it ain't about a black character whose only purpose is to use his special insight to aid white characters? It's a true story. So that's different. And it's called "Mr. Church." C-Dog call a movie what it should be called. Wanna go see "Mr. Church" with me? I'd rather go see "Watch Margot Robbie in Hot Pants for Two Hours" again.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-10 character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-10 Pub. Date: 2016-07-10
Image Number: 144955
Caption: Let's watch "Lou Grant" on Hulu. "Lou Grant"? Ain't that that show your momma used to watch when we was kids? Yeah. I ran out of things to watch, so I figured I'd finally check out some of the shows that bored me to death when I was young. It was really depressing. If it was depressin', why you wanna watch it? I mean it's depressing how good it is. Our parents' generation had writers and actors who knew how to use mature, flawed characters to tell stories that really examined human nature in all its intricacies. And it's set in a major newspaper back when they were still widely read and mostly family-owned, and saw what they did as a calling. When I think of all the time I wasted watching "Sesame Street" when I could've watched this ... I don't watch nothin' older than the milk in my fridge, bruh. That's policy.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-14 character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-14 Pub. Date: 2016-02-14
Image Number: 138656
Caption: I put spyware on my son's computer. Last night, I saw what he's been looking at. Now I feel so guilty. He was watching dozens of Youtube videos detailing the theory that Jar Jar Binks was actually the most powerful evil Jedi in all of "Star Wars." I watched them all. They showed clips from the prequels where Jar Jar was clearly using the Jedi mind trick to manipulate everyone around him. Isaac Asimov was a huge "Star Wars" inspiration. These videos pointed out how Binks is eerily similar to a deceptively buffoonish character named "The Mule" in Asimov's "Foundation" series. It's undeniable. Jar Jar was the real "Phantom Menace," and Lucas must've abandoned that whole idea when we all jumped down his throat about the character. So ... you feel guilty for spying on your child since he wasn't doing anything wrong? I feel guilty for giving George Lucas such a hard time about Phantom Menace. The man was a genius.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-29 character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-29 Pub. Date: 2015-12-29
Image Number: 137114
Caption: I've considered what you said, about how every story, change only occurs after an interlude. But those are stories, Rosencrantz, not real life. In real life, the biggest changes often occur randomly and unexpectedly. There usually is no calm before the storm. We often jarringly shift from one storm to the next. And unlike with fictional characters, the actions of real people often don't make sense. I still demand to know why you took my shoe.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-22 character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-22 Pub. Date: 2015-12-22
Image Number: 136829
Caption: I know where we should go for our double date, Susan. We should go see "Star Wars." We can all dress up. I'll go as Lando Calrissian, you would go as Cinnabon Leia, and your date could go as Jek Porkins. Porkins was that x-wing guy who didn't last two minutes in his mission over the Death Star. It's kind of appropriate, when you think about it. Hey, I've had a few long ... ish ... term relationships.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-19 character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-19 Pub. Date: 2015-11-19
Image Number: 135316
Caption: You know we're still almost a whole year away from the presidential election, Clyde? A whole year full of vicious character attacks, outright lies, shameless pandering, and vacuous media analyses. But on the bright side, a whole year to persuade people it's important to pay attention to it all. Know what I mean, Clyde? ... Clyde?
     
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