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Candorville

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161. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-02-04 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-02-04 Pub. Date: 2008-02-04
Image Number: 21590
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? Hillary Clinton showed up for a rally today. So? So, she's still trying to mend fences with Blacks after some odd statements and her husband's weird tirades against Obama. Oh, no. Oh, yes. This rib reminds me how much I value Martin Luther King, Jr. WE FORGIVE YOU ALREADY.
     
162. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-02-03 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-02-03 Pub. Date: 2008-02-03
Image Number: 21418
Caption: 1994. Polls show most state voters are pro-choice. Romney for Senate. I will protect a woman's right to choose… 2007. Polls show most primary voters are pro-life. Romney for President. …to have the baby. 1994. Voters increasingly support gays. Romney for Senate. Strong is my support for gays in the military... 2007. Polls show voters oppose gays in the military. Romney for President. ...to keep their mouths shut. 1994. Polls show voters favor gun control. Romney for Senate. I strongly support gun control. 2007. Voters oppose gun control. Romney for President. ...because without control, you can't hit that varmint you're aimin' at. Bless you, poll fairy. Polls show voters hate polls. Bless you to hell, foul creature.
     
163. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-02-02 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-02-02 Pub. Date: 2008-02-02
Image Number: 21417
Caption: In other news, after coming in 15th in the Candorville primary… …the Giuliani Campaign has boldly changed its strategy. They've buried a time capsule with a note, asking patriots in the year 9008 to go back in time and tell them to actually campaign in the early states. When asked whether this is a mark of desperation, the campaign replied... "You have reached a number that has been disconnected for lack of payment." Wolf, that could mean a few things...
     
164. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-02-01 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-02-01 Pub. Date: 2008-02-01
Image Number: 21416
Caption: This just in: Dennis Kucinich is challenging Hillary Clinton's and Mike Huckabee's victories in the Candorville primary. Kucinich says the results from Liebold's electronic voting machines cannot be trusted. Liebold argues that huge discrepancies between today's vote and earlier polls are meaningless. Kucinich disagrees, saying quote: "The election isn't until next week."
     
165. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-01-31 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-01-31 Pub. Date: 2008-01-31
Image Number: 21415
Caption: Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee stunned a group of Candorville voters today… …when he turned water into wine and then ascended into the air in a halo of light. To discuss whether this violates the separation of church and state, our senior analyst, John Johnson. John? Wolf, if it turns out he used some sort of wires, there may be a case.
     
166. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-01-30 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-01-30 Pub. Date: 2008-01-30
Image Number: 21414
Caption: Some experts are wondering if the Clinton campaign is trying to use racially charged code words against Barack Obama. Could saying a vote for Obama is "rolling the dice" and saying "you can't shuck and jive at a news conference" be racial? NURSE! MORPHINE! In other news, experts are wondering if snow is cold.
     
167. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-01-25 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-01-25 Pub. Date: 2008-01-25
Image Number: 21358
Caption: What d'you mean, "a dilemma"? On the one hand, I'm a professional journalist. …Whose job is to comment skeptically about the issues of our time. On the other hand… Every time I try to write critically about Barack Obama, I feel like the eyes of 50 million dead slaves are watching me. Ok, I guess that would be a dilemma. ...So I just write about Britney Spears.
     
168. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-01-19 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-01-19 Pub. Date: 2008-01-19
Image Number: 21205
Caption: I figured out what Obama needs to do if he wins the nomination. If he wins, you just know thousands of bigots are going bullet shopping. So he's gotta pick a vice president that bigots'll hate worse… Someone the bigots wouldn't want to risk becoming president. Obviously, his running mate should be an illegal immigrant.
     
169. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-01-18 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-01-18 Pub. Date: 2008-01-18
Image Number: 21207
Caption: You look happy. Good day fo' a thug rapper, Big L. But I thought you were depressed. I thought white folks in Iowa voting for Obama filled you with hope. I thought that hope made it impossible for you to go on profiting from black misery and despair. Yeh, but then I remembered black-on-black crime. That ALWAYS gon' be there.
     
170. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-01-17 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-01-17 Pub. Date: 2008-01-17
Image Number: 21204
Caption: Clyde, get over it. So a very white state voted for Obama. There's still plenty of misery and hopelessness for the thuggish rapper to exploit. And besides, Jesse Jackson won a bunch of primaries in '88, and white folks still didn't put him on the ticket. You jus' sayin' that to make me feel better. No, it's true!
     
171. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-11-25 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-11-25 Pub. Date: 2007-11-25
Image Number: 19614
Caption: Reagan! Bush. Dole. Bush. Bush '04. Romney. Carter! Mondale. Dukakis. Gore. Sharpton. Obama. I wonder what they talk about at dinner.
     
172. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-11-23 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-11-23 Pub. Date: 2007-11-23
Image Number: 19612
Caption: Celebrity Big Brother. So I told Kucinich he should participate more in like, kitchen chores and stuff. An' he told me he'd rather, like, end the war and stuff. An' I'm like, what-ever. I think he likes me, though. I can't wait 'til the writers' strike is over. So I'm like, WHAT war, an' he's like...
     
173. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-11-22 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-11-22 Pub. Date: 2007-11-22
Image Number: 19611
Caption: This just in: neither side is budging in the political speechwriters strike… …so the presidential campaigns have been canceled for the rest of the season. Nobody's quite sure how the country will fill the void. In other news, Dennis Kucinich has joined the cast of "Celebrity Big Brother."
     
174. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-11-21 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-11-21 Pub. Date: 2007-11-21
Image Number: 19610
Caption: The political speechwriter strike is having a devastating effect on the Clinton campaign. I'm a woman, yet not a woman. I mean, I'm a woman winning, not a winning woman. Er… The strike may have also affected the Giuliani campaign. At a bagel shop this morning, Giuliani said "9/11 really 9/11'd my way of 9/11-ing. Or something. ...9/11."
     
175. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-10-28 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-10-28 Pub. Date: 2007-10-28
Image Number: 19040
Caption: On today's SUNDAY MORNING POLITICAL SHOW, we discuss Clinton's suggestion that the government give every child a $5000 savings account. Here to discuss this, we have Rudy Giuliani. Thanks, Bob. Hillary's taking a page from George McGovern's playbook. When he ran for office, he promised every American $1000. It was bribery, and it was pathetic. And here to debate Mr. Giuliani, we have Rudy Giuliani from 1972. Hello, Bob. I obviously don't think McGovern's pathetic. In fact, I just voted for him. Bob, this Giuliani character just confessed to having poor judgment. Bob, THIS Giuliani guy will say just about anything.
     
176. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-09-09 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-10-07 Pub. Date: 2007-09-09
Image Number: 18840
Caption: Bob, the problem with administration is they only talk to people who already agree with them. A Clinton administration wouldn't be afraid to talk to our enemies. Bob, I agree with Senator Clinton. I'd talk to our enemies too. What Senator Obama just said is irresponsible and naive -- proof he's not ready to be president. Bob, as president, if I knew top terrorist targets were in Pakistan, I'd take them out. So would I, Bob. It's irresponsible and naive for Mr. Obama to say what he just said. What? You just said the same exact thing! Listen, it's too nice a day for us to argue about this. Well, it is nice out. It's irresponsible and naive to say that when he doesn't know how the day's going to turn out.
     
177. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-09-30 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-10-07 Pub. Date: 2007-09-30
Image Number: 18843
Caption: On the one hand, I think John Edwards has the best plan to give all Americans health insurance, and I really like that. On the other hand, he got a pricey haircut. Oh the one hand, think Rudy Giuliani can keep terrorists from killing me and my cat, and I really like that. On the other hand, his kids don't like him. So I don't think I can support either one. What's that tell you, doc? That you're petty. On the one hand that makes sense. On the other hand, your goatee looks weird.
     
178. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-09-04 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-09-04 Pub. Date: 2007-09-04
Image Number: 18484
Caption: Mrs. Obama coughed today. Is that a dig at how Hillary Clinton takes tons and tons of cash from health care industry lobbyists? Oh, how I love the magical question mark. I can say ANYTHING, even if it's not the least bit true… …and as long as I tack on a question mark at the end, I won't get sued for slander. I should've stayed in bed this century. Did Mrs. Obama once drop-kick Hillary in the gut?
     
179. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-09-03 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-09-03 Pub. Date: 2007-09-03
Image Number: 18481
Caption: Did Obama's wife attack Hillary? Catfight! MEEE-OWWWWW! Huh? SHE SAID "IF YOU CAN'T RUN YOUR OWN HOUSE, YOU CERTAINLY CAN'T RUN THE WHITE HOUSE. …So we've adjusted our schedules to make sure that our girls are first. So, while (Barack) is traveling around, I do day trips... I'm home before bedtime... to tuck them in at night." Wait, what was that? Back up. CATFIGHT! No, a little further ahead. Meow?
     
180. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-09-01 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-09-01 Pub. Date: 2007-09-01
Image Number: 18406
Caption: What do you think of John Edward's health care plan? I think he's running third in the polls. That's not what I-- oh, forget it. What do you think about Giuliani's views on immigration? Isn't he the guy with the 9-11 and the rubble and stuff? Never mind. I think he's ahead in the polls.
     
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