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Candorville

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121. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-08-11 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-08-11 Pub. Date: 2008-08-11
Image Number: 25784
Caption: Al Gall-Mart's regional headquarters… Sir, why did you call us here? Oh, no reason. Can't a corporation summon thousands of workers to mandatory meetings without there being some sort of "reason"? We just want to hang out. Maybe play some team-building games. Ooh! I know! Maybe a word association game. I'll say something like "Obama," and you'll say something like "dangerous."
     
122. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-08-03 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-08-03 Pub. Date: 2008-08-03
Image Number: 25552
Caption: Democratic Senator Jim Webb joined Wesley Clark's attack on John McCain's military credentials! Really? Yeah! He said "We need to make sure that we take politics out of service." …Um, that's not-- Guess what else he said! He said something about how McCain shouldn't imply the whole military agrees with his political views. That's a clear and despicable attack on his credentials! I don't think "credentials" means what you think it means. Hey, stop attacking my credentials!
     
123. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-07-20 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-07-20 Pub. Date: 2008-07-20
Image Number: 24783
Caption: Michelle Obama said "For the first time in my adult lifetime, I'm really proud of my country because it feels like hope is finally making a comeback." Gasp! Mainstream media. WHAT?! That means she was never proud of America until later in life! She's no patriot! Mainstream Media. She also said "I really didn't love America until I was deprived of her company." WHAT?! Mainstream media. That means she never loved America until later in life! She's no patriot! Oops, correction: John McCain said that last one. Mainstream media. Really? Oh, well then it's a poetic testament to the moment a man fell in love with his country.
     
124. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-06-27 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-06-27 Pub. Date: 2008-06-27
Image Number: 24481
Caption: Aaarchie, why're you so happy? I got a new job, Edith. There's more'n one fear manufacturing plant in town. I got some younger, hipper lingo from that - whatchacallit - interweb, an' another outfit snapped yours truly right up! What does it mean, "Obama's baby mama"? That one's mine! You're lookin' at a Fox News man, dingbat! Oh, Aarchie.
     
125. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-06-25 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-06-25 Pub. Date: 2008-06-25
Image Number: 24479
Caption: You dingbat! Where's my dinner?! I'm leavin' you, Arch. WHAT?! Nobody was buyin' my "Obama's wife called people 'Whitey'" product, so the boss fired me! It ain't my fault, Edith! The Archie I married woulda walked into that factory and said, "You can't fire me, I been manufacturing fear since before you was born!" Edith, my stomach is growlin' here. Goodbye... stranger.
     
126. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-06-24 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-06-24 Pub. Date: 2008-06-24
Image Number: 24478
Caption: Aaarchie, what are you doing home. It's only 2 o'clock! They laid me off, Edith. Didn't like my latest whatchacall… invention. But I thought your "Michelle Obama called White people 'Whitey'" invention was brilliant, Arch. That, Edith is 'cause you are what they call "obsolete." What's "obsolete"? That's French for "dingbat."
     
127. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-06-23 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-06-23 Pub. Date: 2008-06-23
Image Number: 24477
Caption: Meanwhile, across town… Fear, Inc. Whaddaya mean yer layin' me off? You're just too old, Archie. Take your last product, for instance… BARACK OBAMA'S WIFE CALLED WHITE PEOPLE "WHITEY." My best creation yet! It's a big fat lie that our nincompoops out there'll eat right up. Yes, but... "Whitey"? That's so 1970s. Zip it, meathead!
     
128. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-06-15 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-06-15 Pub. Date: 2008-06-15
Image Number: 24094
Caption: Mainstream Media. John McCain is a MAVERICK. He's not afraid to go against his own party! But his home-state paper says he almost never voted against his own party's interests. Wait…what? Nothing. Say, I want you to meet-- Barack Obama is a Muslim. A Muslim with a crazy Christian pastor. He doesn't sing the anthem or wear a flag pin in the shower. He's also an illegal immigrant from some place called "Hawaii." ...My twin brother. The Internet. I'd shake hands but that transmits Alzheimers.
     
129. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-06-13 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-06-13 Pub. Date: 2008-06-13
Image Number: 24092
Caption: Barack Obama's preacher said "Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to." I'm offended! That's racist hate-speech! Oops. Correction: Chris Rock said that. Oh. Then HA HA HA HA! It's funny 'cause it's true.
     
130. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-25 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-25 Pub. Date: 2008-05-25
Image Number: 23641
Caption: I have no job. Obama's scary black reverend. I'm losing my home. Obama's scary black reverend. My wife found a lump, but we don't have health insurance. Obama's scary black reverend. I can't afford to feed my family. Obama's scary black reverend. An unnecessary war killed my little girl. Obama's scary black reverend. ...Obama's scary black reverend. You're very very concerned...
     
131. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-24 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-24 Pub. Date: 2008-05-24
Image Number: 23640
Caption: What's this? A George Foreman Home DNA testing kit. You're gonna test your son to make sure he's yours? I’m gonna test Hillary Clinton to make sure she's not an alien metamorph with the power to become all things to all voters. …And then you'll test your son? That would just be paranoid.
     
132. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-23 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-23 Pub. Date: 2008-05-23
Image Number: 23639
Caption: Remember how Hillary Clinton seemed to have incredible stamina? Go on. …And how she's mysteriously adopt the accent and personality of whatever group she was talking to? Go on. …And how she was "born" in 1947? Go on. …And remember how aliens crashed at Roswell in 1947? Stop.
     
133. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-22 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-22 Pub. Date: 2008-05-22
Image Number: 23638
Caption: Decades ago, the doomed planet, Klampton orbits a dying star. She'll have powers beyond those of mere mortals… Powered by Earth's yellow sun, she'll be able to morph into any shape. Assume any personality. She'll be all things to all people. I think you're being way too hard on Hillary Clinton. No, wait. Hear me out.
     
134. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-21 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-21 Pub. Date: 2008-05-21
Image Number: 23637
Caption: As a superdelegate, you should vote for the person who's more electable. Clearly, I’m more electable than Senator Obama. Then how come you losin'? Electability has nothing to do with winning. Oh. What?
     
135. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-20 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-20 Pub. Date: 2008-05-20
Image Number: 23636
Caption: Howdy, superdelegate! Dagnabbit, where is yer support for my campaign? You got a hitch in yer git-along, or somethin'? Huh? Wait. Is this rural Kentucky? No. Downtown Candorville. Oh. My bad. One sec… Poof! 'sup dawg? Still not feelin' it, Senator Clinton.
     
136. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-19 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-19 Pub. Date: 2008-05-19
Image Number: 23635
Caption: I respect John McCain's half CENTURY of service to this country. When I say he's LOSING HIS BEARINGS, I just mean he's FORGOTTEN what he says he stands for. So Sen. Obama, you're not subtly trying to make McCain's age a campaign issue? Wolf, this country DEPENDS on people of all ages...
     
137. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-16 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-16 Pub. Date: 2008-05-16
Image Number: 23478
Caption: Men. Hmph! I know what you mean, girl. They always leave. Mine left months ago. Said the American people were smart enough to recognize true patriotism comes from actions, not from lapel jewelry. Huh? Hi. I'm Barack Obama's flag pin. Yo. Dude. What exactly is in this cocoa? Ha! They always learn their lesson in the end, huh?
     
138. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-10 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-10 Pub. Date: 2008-05-10
Image Number: 23437
Caption: I had a nightmare, Susan. I dreamt we lived in a country where we judged people not on their own words… …but on the words of people they happened to know. This just in… Barack Obama's church once honored a man whose great great great grandfather traveled across the Atlantic chained to Shaka Zulu's half-brother, Herman Zulu. Hillary Clinton had this to say: "All I'm saying, Wolf, is that if I were directly connected to a brutal 19th century warlord, I'd apologize for it."
     
139. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-09 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-09 Pub. Date: 2008-05-09
Image Number: 23409
Caption: In an alternate universe, the events of 1968 happen in 2008. Mr. Humphrey, what did you mean by that? My good friends, I'm just saying that if I heard Martin Luther King Jr. say America "may go to hell"… I wouldn't have described King as a man of "love" and "justice." I am by no means implying that THIS MEANS MY OPPONENT, ROBERT F. KENNEDY, SECRETLY HATES AMERICA.
     
140. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-08 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-08 Pub. Date: 2008-05-08
Image Number: 23354
Caption: In an alternate universe, the events of 1968 happen in 2008. What voters demand to know… …is why Democratic Presidential Candidate Robert F. Kennedy hasn't distanced himself from Reverend Martin Luther King Jr… …who recently described America as "the greatest purveyor of violence in the world today." Let's ask Kennedy's opponent, Hubert Humphrey, for an unbiased assessment. My good friends, this is troubling...
     
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