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81. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-06-29 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-06-29 Pub. Date: 2009-06-29
Image Number: 35732
Caption: 2000. Some polls show Gore wins Florida, but the vote count gives it to Bush. Odd. Crazy conspiracy theorist. Bush is our rightfully elected leader. 2004. Some polls show Kerry wins Ohio, but the vote count gives it to Bush. Odd. Crazy conspiracy theorist. Bush is our rightfully elected leader. 2009. Some polls show a moderate wins in Iran, but the vote count gives it to the hardliner. Odd. FRAUD! THEY CLEARLY STOLE THE ELECTION!!!
     
82. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-12 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-12 Pub. Date: 2009-01-12
Image Number: 29373
Caption: Excuse me, I just have this feeling you're the man I want to see. I wish to purchase a miracle. I wish to purchase something I haven't even dared dream about since I was a boy - something I never believed I would live to see. Whachawant, old man? I got watches, I got a left sock, I got inauguration tickets... Thug 4 Life. I thought it was pretty clear I was inquiring about the tickets. Never underestimate a good left sock.
     
83. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-11-18 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-11-18 Pub. Date: 2008-11-18
Image Number: 28119
Caption: So, you voted for Obama as the realization of Dr. King's dream that we'd all be judged by who we are, not what we are… Check. …and that all of us would have equal rights. Check. And then you voted to take equal rights away from gay people. Check. And you don't see any shameful irony in that. Check.
     
84. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-11-17 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-11-17 Pub. Date: 2008-11-17
Image Number: 28118
Caption: You waited in line seven hours? I'da waited 20 to vote for Obama. 400 years. About time America realized everybody on God's earth is equal. Tell it. Except the gays. Say what? Thank God I got to vote to keep THOSE PEOPLE in their place.
     
85. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-11-16 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-11-16 Pub. Date: 2008-11-16
Image Number: 28016
Caption: VH1 presents: Where are they now? The Ozzy-the-Undecided-Voter Story. The time was October, 2008. Journalists across the country yearned for him. There wasn't a television show around that didn't broadcast his beaming smile. And for one brief electoral season, Ozzy-the-Undecided-Voter was at the top of his game. Mainstream media. Which one is Obama again? But as sometimes happens in the dog-eat-dog ignoramus industry, his star dimmed like a light bulb over a moron's head. Guess who I voted for? Yawn. And it sent him on a downward spiral. Anonymous Friend. After the election, he started hangin' around the wrong crowd. People who read an' pay attention. He started recognizin' the difference between such things as ketchup an' mustard. I was shocked, an' I was like "What the @#$% did you do with the real Ozzy? Next up, Ozzy hits rock bottom...
     
86. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-11-04 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-11-04 Pub. Date: 2008-11-04
Image Number: 27819
Caption: So whatchoo doin' here, blood? I'm a journalist sent to cover the rescue of John McCain's lost honor. No, I mean whatchoo doin' here. This here the Starbucks at the end o' the world. Nothin' can find this place unless it's lost. Or abandoned. You mean "No one," right? Pass the chocolate espresso beans. The right to vote.
     
87. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-11-03 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-11-03 Pub. Date: 2008-11-03
Image Number: 27818
Caption: The Starbucks at the end of the world. Where the lost and abandoned can find rest, a warm cup and free Wi-Fi. Note to self… We found John McCain's lost honor, but it refuses to come with us. Of course it does. Why go back home to be with someone it hardly knows anymore? Someone it don't respect no more? Someone who keeps throwin' out his brand new Afro sheen? We still talkin' about John McCain?
     
88. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-11-02 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-11-02 Pub. Date: 2008-11-02
Image Number: 27644
Caption: Liebold. President: Barack Obama. Thank you for voting for Fritz Golem. What the--? CANCEL. President: Barack Obama. Thank you for voting for Fritz Golem. Who the @#$% is Fritz Golem?! I am Fritz Golem. Your new lord and master. YOU WILL SURRENDER YOUR DEMOCRACY TO ME. YOU WILL SURRENDER YOUR FREE WILL. YOU WILL BRING ME A HAZELNUT LATTE FROM STARBUCKS. I won't set foot in Starbucks for anyone. EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!
     
89. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-11-01 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-11-01 Pub. Date: 2008-11-01
Image Number: 27643
Caption: So John McCain never left you behind in Vietnam? No. I came here of my own accord after the divorce. I caught him in bed with dishonor. Embracing those who had attacked his wife and baby. Implying his opponent was a terrorist-sympathizer with inappropriate thoughts about kindergarteners. Spending the entire month of September approving campaign ads that blatantly lied. Letting his running mate incite hate at her rallies. So, I divorced him. I became a salmon, swimming upstream to the place where I was born. I take it you got custody of the metaphors. Let me know when you decide to rant, and I'll come over and interrupt.
     
90. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-31 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-31 Pub. Date: 2008-10-31
Image Number: 27642
Caption: Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal, Day 18: We found McCain's long-lost honor. After Karl Rove's lies destroyed John in 2000… …he told me: "My God…the genius of that. "The will to do that perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure." That's when he realized, they were stronger than he was. You couldn't stay to talk him out of becoming just like them? I had frequent flyer miles that were about to expire.
     
91. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-30 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-30 Pub. Date: 2008-10-30
Image Number: 27641
Caption: I remember in South Carolina, 2000. McCain had sworn to be honest. Honorable. But we went there and the Bush people had spread lies and innuendo about him and his wife. The HORROR. He wept like a child. And then he said to me… …that nobody should ever do that stuff to anyone? No, he said "Wait, we can do that?" But good guess.
     
92. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-29 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-29 Pub. Date: 2008-10-29
Image Number: 27640
Caption: Did they tell you why they sent you, embeds? Why they want you to reunite me with John McCain? They said his campaign had gone totally insane. That his methods were unsound. Do you think his methods are unsound? Honor. I don't see… any methods… at all, sir. Are you assassins? We're journalists. So that would be a "yes"?
     
93. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-28 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-28 Pub. Date: 2008-10-28
Image Number: 27639
Caption: Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal, Day 18: The Starbucks at the end of the world. Manager said the lost and abandoned come through here from time to time. Said we might find what we're looking for. Pray tell, wouldst thou vagabonds know the way to the East Indies? First things first. Have you seen John McCain's honor? Perchance in yonder men's room.
     
94. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-24 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-24 Pub. Date: 2008-10-24
Image Number: 27504
Caption: Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal, Day 17: This is the end. The river's end. To rescue John McCain's honor from a prison camp. Only one problem. There is no prison camp. But I am the spirit of investigative journalism incarnate. I, and I alone, can defy nature and the gods themselves to track down my prey. Hey, I found his honor, it's over at Starbucks. And will you quite doing that?
     
95. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-20 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-20 Pub. Date: 2008-10-20
Image Number: 27500
Caption: Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal Day 15: Boat stopped so we could waste film on a tourist attraction. Authentic Fisherman. Rookies. Nerves causing dumb mistakes. Oh snap! I only have one shot left! At this rate, we'll never rescue McCain's honor from that camp upriver. Can't waste. Must... stay... till I can get perfect shot. Maybe animatronic fish glinting in sunset. Or maybe... (Click). What the @#$%?! I told you not to stop the boat.
     
96. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-19 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-19 Pub. Date: 2008-10-19
Image Number: 27485
Caption: And in other news, John McCain and Barack Obama are criss-crossing the nation to visit important groups of voters. On Monday, Senator Obama visited Jewish voters in Florida, while Senator McCain spoke at an Irish-American veterans dinner. On Tuesday, Obama spoke at a town hall hosted by Reverend Wilfred W. Wilfred, leader of the state's largest Christian Ministry... While McCain met with Latino-American veterans group. Next week, both McCain and Obama will be speaking to a group of Liebold electronic voting machines at their fourth annual "Sentence Day" luncheon. ...where the two will swear allegiance to their new lords and masters... Chuck, this teleprompter's gone haywire.
     
97. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-14 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-14 Pub. Date: 2008-10-14
Image Number: 27399
Caption: Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal, Day 12: How are we going to rescue John McCain's lost honor from that prison camp with this crew of misfits? Asian Tax Shelter. Wesley Snipes and Chuck Norris. I won't even go there. Then there's Lemont Brown, the other embedded journalist. "Big L" is from some urban spit hole... Snap! ...and I think the light and space of Vietnam really put a zap on his brain. What in God's name is that crazy smell? Trees.
     
98. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-10 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-10 Pub. Date: 2008-10-10
Image Number: 27223
Caption: Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal, Day 12: Our guide was one of those guys who had that weird light around him. Glow-in-dark iPOD. $99 at Target. We felt safe with him. Don't eat at that Taco Bell. Bad cheese. Nodung River that way, behind Starbuck! Go! Save John McCain honor from fetid prison camp! He knew the ways of the natives. Because he was one. Mmm... I love the smell of hazelnut latte in the morning.
     
99. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-09 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-09 Pub. Date: 2008-10-09
Image Number: 27222
Caption: September 24th, 2008… We monitored it out of Ha Long. It's been verified as the voice of John McCain's honor. Please, please, don't show me any more of my own lying campaign ads! I beg you! Then let's go over your involvement in the "Keating Five" one more time. NNNOOOOO!!! Shut it off. We'll save him. Or die trying. Do you mean that literally? 'cause...
     
100. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-08 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-08 Pub. Date: 2008-10-08
Image Number: 27221
Caption: The "Real" Delta Force couldn't make it, so the Pentagon called my agent. Y'know what? This whole "sailing up a dangerous river into enemy territory with Chuck Norris" thing? I’m not too cool with it. Don't worry, chief. We're not on our own. Oh. Well... They also sent Wesley Snipes as my feisty sidekick. Wait... What?! I'm on work release.
     
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