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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (37 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-05 born 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-05 Pub. Date: 2019-08-05
Image Number: 178904
Caption: Did you know ICE and border patrol are detaining American citizens now? So far it's just a few. They detained 18-year-old Francisco Erwin Galicia for almost a month … even though he showed his state ID and his social security card. His mom showed them his birth certificate proving he was born in Dallas. But they still wouldn't release him ... not until the Dallas morning news reported on it. I still agree with the readers who said it was crude for you to title your article The Press is the Enema of the People.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-28 born 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-28 Pub. Date: 2018-11-28
Image Number: 175156
Caption: You're on The Ask Sadie Show. What's your problem?! I'm conflicted about the year 2050. In 2050, we'll have several technologies that could let us live forever. No one born after around 1970 might ever have to die. Excellent question. It reminds me of the time a narcissistic caller called someone born way before 1970, just to say he won't have to die, but she will. I will find you and take you with me. Might be for the best. If there is an afterlife, I wouldn't want to miss out on it.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-22 born 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-22 Pub. Date: 2018-06-22
Image Number: 172358
Caption: I'm tired of people complaining about the treatment of refugees from Canardville. Mayor Thump never asked them to come here. Their whole town fell into a giant sinkhole. They're right next door. Where were they supposed to go? Who cares? Not here. And I'm tired of people whining about how the mayor put them all in jail and took all their babies away form them. They should've thought of that before they chose to be born in a town that would one day sink into a giant sinkhole.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-27 born 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-27 Pub. Date: 2017-10-27
Image Number: 164151
Caption: I wish I could visit the alternate universe were the Kennedy brothers had never been assassinated. In that universe, we never escalated in Vietnam, Nixon was never president, we never ended the Apollo program … I was born on the moon, Carter and Reagan were never presidents, so Iran never turned out to be what it is and we never helped create all these terrorists ... and "Chappelle's Show" never went off the air. You really need to let that go, Lemont.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-23 born 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-23 Pub. Date: 2017-07-23
Image Number: 160037
Caption: Nobody's proper anymore. Dr. Noodle. What ever happened to the good old days, when gentlemen were gentlemen? Men never spit in public. Men never had tattoos unless they were pirates. And ladies were ladies. You never would've caught Queen Victoria twerking on Instagram. Sometimes I feel like I was born 150 years too late. That's a common affliction. "Guy-who-would-never-have-been-a-slave-150-years-ago-itis." There are 45 million slaves today, y'know.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-10 born 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-10 Pub. Date: 2016-08-10
Image Number: 147067
Caption: I haven't finished reading a novel since my son was born. Taking care of him leaves me no time for any of my old hobbies. So I'm coming up with new hobbies he and I can do together. That makes sense. Today's hobby is going to be "Hide and Seek." I'll take about an hour to "find" him just so he'll think he's doing a great job hiding. How long does it take you to read a chapter in a novel? I don't see what that has to do with anything.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-18 born 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-18 Pub. Date: 2016-06-18
Image Number: 144567
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? There's a new Star Trek tv show coming next year. Isn't that a good thing? Star Trek is like a religion to you. Don't you see? When they canceled the first show, I wasn't even born. When they canceled the last show, I was almost thirty. When they cancel this next one, I'll be an old man! So? It happens ... and you, you'll be an old woman, Susan. Never.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-14 born 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-14 Pub. Date: 2015-08-14
Image Number: 130937
Caption: I feel like I was born about 200 years too early, Susan. 200 years ago, I'd have been a slave. My life expectancy would've had me dying at 36. I'd have had to use an outhouse. For that matter, they hadn't even invented toilet paper. We made all this progress in 200 years. Imagine how much we'll have made 200 years from now. I don't really see how you can improve on toilet paper. Whatever it is, it'll probably involve lasers.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-26 born 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-26 Pub. Date: 2015-06-26
Image Number: 128675
Caption: I wish I could visit the alternate universe where the Kennedy brothers had never been assassinated. In that universe, we never escalated in Vietnam, Nixon was never president, we never ended the Apollo program … I was born on the moon, Carter and Reagan were never presidents, so Iran never turned out to be what it is and we never helped create all these terrorists ... and "Chappelle's Show" never went off the air. You really need to let that go, Lemont.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-19 born 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-19 Pub. Date: 2015-04-19
Image Number: 125204
Caption: Nobody's proper anymore. Dr. Noodle. What ever happened to the good old days, when gentlemen were gentlemen? Men never spit in public. Men never had tattoos unless they were pirates. And ladies were ladies. You never would've caught Queen Victoria twerking on Instagram. Sometimes I feel like I was born 150 years too late. That's a common affliction. "Guy-who-would-never-have-been-a-slave-150-years-ago-itis." There are 30 million slaved today, y'know.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-30 born 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-30 Pub. Date: 2014-11-30
Image Number: 118798
Caption: Sometimes I wish my mom and all my ancestors had decided to have kids much later in life. What? Why? A few years ago, I read that a Harvard research team discovered a way to reverse the aging process in mice. That could lead to a cure for aging - a cure for death itself - just a few decades from now. If just my last ten generations of ancestors had waited till their forties to have kids, I wouldn't have been born till the year 2080, or so. If they'd each just kept it zipped for two measly decades, it's possible I'd get to be immortal. My own ancestors have condemned me to death. How thoughtless of them. Oh no ... I already have a son ... I've perpetuated the cycle of violence.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-21 born 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-21 Pub. Date: 2014-08-21
Image Number: 115242
Caption: Robin Williams visits Lemont's dream. One of my favorite things in the world was to make you all laugh. I always knew that. You'd combine classy and dirty jokes, wisdom and erudition and throw them at us so fast and from so many different directions … ... it was like you were a new dad trying to get his baby to laugh and think at the same time. Are you trying to say I made you laugh so hard you ... yourself? Let's keep this clean.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-02-19 born 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-02-19 Pub. Date: 2014-02-19
Image Number: 107708
Caption: I haven't finished reading a novel since my son was born. Taking care of him leaves me no time for any of my old hobbies. So I'm coming up with new hobbies he and I can do together. That makes sense. Today's hobby is going to be "Hide and Seek." I'll take about an hour to find him just so he'll think he's doing a great job hiding. How long does it take you to read a chapter in a novel? I don't see what that has to do with anything.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-23 born 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-23 Pub. Date: 2013-12-23
Image Number: 105427
Caption: Merry Christmas, Tyrone. How dare you! Everyone knows Jesus wasn't born in December. Everyone knows the roman pagans celebrated SATURNALIA every December 17-23, and "Christmas" was the church's attempt to win those pagans over to Christianity by promising them they could still PARTY every December. You, sir, are engaged in a WAR ON SATURNALIA! I want to get a Christmas tree. That's just a ripoff of the SATURNALIA HEAD-ON-A-PIKE!
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-21 born 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-21 Pub. Date: 2013-12-21
Image Number: 105215
Caption: Feudalbanc Massacard, this is Ryan speaking. My statement shows $300 of charges for kangaroo shampoo in some far off country I never heard of. … And coincidentally, I got a letter today advertising your "fraud prevention services" for $15 a month. I see. So you'd like to know how to sign up for protection? I'd like to know if you think I was born YESterday. I recorded you saying "yes," you're signed up, have a nice day, bye.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-09-29 born 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-09-29 Pub. Date: 2013-09-29
Image Number: 101660
Caption: I just saw "The Business of Being Born." Ever seen that? What that is? It's a documentary about how birth doesn’t need to be treated like an illness. Did you know America has a really high infant mortality rate, even though we have the costliest birth procedures in the world? Did you know the drugs they pump into women in hospitals may be really bad for both mother and child? Did you know we MEN, so that don't have spit to do with us? YOU WERE BORN, WEREN'T YOU?! That's momma business, not mine.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-28 born 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-28 Pub. Date: 2013-08-28
Image Number: 100803
Caption: Tonight's top story: Tea party Favorite, Republican Senator Ted Cruz, Was Born In A Foreign Country. Republicans point out that since his mom was American, he's still a "natural-born citizen," eligible to run for president. They Also apologize for all that censored "birther" stuff they dragged us all though. In unrelated news, you're dreaming right now.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-14 born 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-14 Pub. Date: 2013-08-14
Image Number: 100291
Caption: Breaking news: The Boston Globe has been sold for $70 million. In more breaking news, The Washington Post has just been sold for $250 million. These sale prices are nowhere near the $1.1 billion a paper like the Globe pulled in just two decades ago. Why is that, Chuck? Well for one thing, "Breaking news" is reported much faster online than in print. Breaking news: a future king has just been born in Britain!
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-03-07 born 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-03-07 Pub. Date: 2013-03-07
Image Number: 94133
Caption: Why's everyone think adults should want to have kids? Because we can. We're built for it. It's like someone who's born with legs but doesn't want to walk. Or someone born with eyes who doesn’t want to see. Or someone born with super powers who doesn’t want to wear tights and fight crime. It's important to know where to end an analogy. ... A Vulcan who doesn't want to mind-meld.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-11-05 born 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-11-05 Pub. Date: 2012-11-05
Image Number: 89421
Caption: Remember how four years ago, Hillary Clinton had the superhuman ability to be all things to all people? Go on. Remember how I pointed out that she was "born" in 1947, the same year as aliens crashed at Roswell? Go on. Did you know Mitt Romney was also "born" in 1947? Go on. Remember when we were kids and I bet you $2 the alien invasion would happen before the zombie apocalypse? Stop.
     
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