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Candorville

Comics about bodies.

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Result page:    2  3  4  Next  (64 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-12-05 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-12-05 Pub. Date: 2019-12-05
Image Number: 180644
Caption: Hello? Hi. Do you repair new old computers? What? Well … My beloved old iMac G4 dies years ago. So I bought a new iMac and paid a kid to tear out its guts and shove them into my old G4's body. You know, kind of like if you had an old friend who passes away, so you dressed your new friend in his clothes. I'm feeling very uncomfortable. It's making a weird screaming sound.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-13 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-13 Pub. Date: 2019-08-13
Image Number: 178995
Caption: Sir, why did you change my health insurance to a plan that doesn't cover contraceptives? President Trump issues a ruling allowing employers to refuse to cover any procedures that we disagree with either religiously or morally. And you have a moral objection to women controlling their own bodies? I have a moral objection to not saving a few bucks a month. Yayle. CEO of the year 2002.,
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-02 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-02 Pub. Date: 2019-03-02
Image Number: 176502
Caption: What I believe. Part 480. My child is me. His body came first from me. His thoughts began as a reaction to me and to the world as I introduced it to him. When he judges me, I'm being judged but the most honest, innocent part of myself … So maybe my butt really IS getting big.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-20 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-20 Pub. Date: 2019-01-20
Image Number: 175689
Caption: A body can't just go cold turkey. Do you want me to have palpitations?! You want me to hallucinate?! To have night sweats?! To have clammy skin and flatulence?! HOJ. Here. Delirium tremens averted! Zzz. Caffeine addiction is no joke.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-27 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-27 Pub. Date: 2018-10-27
Image Number: 174605
Caption: What'd you mean when you called it the Republican Supreme Court? They're not all Republicans. Ever since the Republicans voted as a bloc in 2000 to end the recount and make Bush president … and with all the 5 to 4 votes … it's become increasingly clear that the court is a political body, just like Congress. There's no point in pretending it's still some unbiased arbiter of justice. Nothing's legitimate anymore. This is just like the last days of Rome.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-25 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-25 Pub. Date: 2018-02-25
Image Number: 168231
Caption: I'm not entirely sure I'm conscious, doc. It occurred to me last night, I am not an individual. I am a colony of 32 trillion individual living cells. Dr. Noodle … each of which lives, breathes, performs tasks, and quite possibly considers itself to be a conscious individual with free will. The thought reminded me of when I was in the army. Each of us was an individual cell focused on an individual task ... but before we knew it, because of the decisions made unbeknownst to any of us grunts ... the body of us, the colony we all comprised ... had marched across Europe, and swum across the Pacific, and liberated half the world ... maybe I prescribed you a little too much Cannabis. You may think you thought that thought, but you're just an antibody reflexively protecting the colony.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-16 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-16 Pub. Date: 2018-02-16
Image Number: 168417
Caption: I can't get over Black Panther, Clyde. Me neither, bruh. I ain't never had to sit next to no dude wearin' nothin' but black body-paint before. I tried spandex, but it still looked too puffy. Bruh … It's not my fault Disney made Black Panther's costume so skintight. Can ... can we not talk 'bout it no more?
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-22 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-22 Pub. Date: 2017-11-22
Image Number: 165149
Caption: Where do you think we'll be 3,000 years from now, Susan? Do you think we'll even be recognizable as human beings? Will we all have nanites coursing through our bodies repairing any damage and connecting us all to a hive mind? Will we have no bodies at all, and instead be sentient programs we uploaded to the cloud to escape some global catastrophe? Will we still like pizza? Pizza is eternal.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-18 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-18 Pub. Date: 2017-06-18
Image Number: 158658
Caption: I read your article bashing Congressman Thugman for assaulting a reporter, you'd better watch your back, Leroy. Lemont. Whatever. You should change your name to "Enemy of the American People." Trump said so, and he's right. How was he right? There's nothing more American than a free press. Read the first amendment. The press is enshrined in the Constitution! Journalists report being beaten, arrested. Oh yeah? Well, the so-called "Constitution" also enshrined slavery. Yeah, but then the Constitution abolished slavery, with the 13th amendment. Exactly. It's crazy for you to defend yourself with a document that can't even make up its mind. No wonder they're body-slamming you guys now. I'm starting to think you'll say anything just to win an argument. That's my first amendment right. Why do you hate the Constitution?
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-10 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-10 Pub. Date: 2017-03-10
Image Number: 155383
Caption: When did you know you were in love with Vancouver? It happened one night over Skype … I said "we must be double-planets, because our barycenter is somewhere between us in space, outside of either of our bodies … and because in our orbit around it, we're tidally locked, unable to turn away form one another." When she bit her lip and told me "that was so sexy" instead of slowly backing away from her computer, I knew it was true love. Dios mio.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-10 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-10 Pub. Date: 2016-10-10
Image Number: 149609
Caption: So, why're you going to Vancouver? What was that? Can't … breathe … Well … I'm going 'cause it's the one city I've never worked out in.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-16 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-16 Pub. Date: 2016-09-16
Image Number: 148483
Caption: I've been in long-distance relationships too, so I know how you feel. The fear that they aren't as into you as you're into them, but you're too far away to pick up on the body language. The near certainty that while you're hundreds of miles away, someone else has got their hands all over them. I hadn't really thought about any of that. Thanks a lot. You're welcome. Bus. 7 9 18 27 F 6
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-01 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-01 Pub. Date: 2016-08-01
Image Number: 146688
Caption: Hi! I'm a complete stranger! You obviously came up here to enjoy the view in solitude. But I'm gonna stand right next to you as if I've never even heard of the concept of "personal space." I'm gonna avoid eye contact in hopes you'll go away. Good thing I can't pick up on body language.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-23 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-23 Pub. Date: 2016-06-23
Image Number: 144900
Caption: When are you going to teach your son about death? Never. If your toenail falls off, have you died? If you lose a foot to a grizzly bear, have you died? If a wild kangaroo rips off both your arms, have you died? If you can survive without parts of your body, who's to say you don't survive without the whole body? You can't just avoid having hard talks with your son. I don't want him to survive dying and then call me a liar.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-30 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-30 Pub. Date: 2015-09-30
Image Number: 133084
Caption: Where do you think we'll be 3,000 years from now, Susan? Do you think we'll even be recognizable as human beings? Will we all have nanites coursing through our bodies repairing damage and connecting us all to a hive mind? Will we have no bodies at all, and instead me sentient programs uploaded to the cloud to escape some global catastrophe? Will we still like pizza? Pizza is eternal.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-27 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-27 Pub. Date: 2015-08-27
Image Number: 131716
Caption: Lemont … have I told you how much I appreciate having you as a friend? Thank you! I mean, some guys try to be all "alpha-male" all the time. Like this guy I'm seeing. Last night, the dude was flexing his massive biceps while he was hugging me. That was a real turnoff. I like that I've known you all my life, and I still have no idea if you have any muscles. Thank you.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-21 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-21 Pub. Date: 2015-06-21
Image Number: 128073
Caption: I've done a lot of things in my life, doc. I'm a firm believer in sampling everything life has to offer. Dr. Noodle … Except for prison. I don't need to know what being imprisoned is like … or visiting the Middle East. I don't really need to end up in an orange jumpsuit ... or bug-eating. No offense to the rest of the world, but that's just nasty ... or flyfishing ... or pipe-smoking ... or body-piercing ... or alligator-wrestling ... or Jazzercise ... You're being awfully negative. Why don't we try focusing on the things you DO like to do? I don't like being negative.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-26 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-26 Pub. Date: 2015-03-26
Image Number: 124644
Caption: If you could go back in time ten years, but you couldn't come back, and you would not be ten years younger … would you do it? Only if I were an idiot. But if you went into the past, you could invest wisely and get rich. Yeah, but I'd die ten years earlier. We may only be decades away from figuring out how to end aging, or how to upload our consciousness to immortal android bodies. If I die ten years early, I might miss out on that. You know that stuff would only be for rich people, right? I've got $8,000 in an IRA.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-22 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-22 Pub. Date: 2015-02-22
Image Number: 122695
Caption: "Your thigh bone's connected to your hip bone … Your shoulder bone's connected to your neck bone … Your neck bone's connected to your head bone … Now hear the word of the Lord!" James Weldon Johnson wrote that almost 100 years ago. Yeah, well … I still don't see why it's James Weldon Johnson's fault you just had to pay $5,000 to get your teeth fixed. It's obvious, Lemont. For 100 years, they've been indoctrinating us at an early age into not considering teeth to be an integral part of the body. That's what lets health insurance get away with not covering dental. I bet the HMOs paid the guy not to even mention the tooth bone. It's the only explanation for such a glaring omission. First of all, I'm not sure "tooth bone" is a thing ... which is proof that a century of brainwashing works.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-13 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-13 Pub. Date: 2014-12-13
Image Number: 119938
Caption: What's wrong? England found King Richard III's remains under a parking lot. Oh … what's wrong with that? I used to think the world was a lot more exciting, Susan. Whatever happened to sweaty archeologists being chased through catacombs by bad guys, uncovering ancient, booby-trapped tombs ... What happened to the booby traps? Real life's interesting enough, Lemont. A parking lot??
     
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