Of course I can get you a double-caffeine espresso. You … you can? Coffee King. You mean my usual café hasn't blacklisted me throughout the tri-county area like they said they did? You mean to tell me my cardiologist and my crabby wife haven't sent every cafe do not serve this man posters like they said they did? Well in that case, hurry up and give it to me before the old battleaxe finds a parking spot! Oh, don't worry. There's a convention next door. She'll be circling the block for hours. How do you like your gentle-flower chamomile tea? People who double-park should burn forever in the fiery pits of hell.
Boss, last night I Netflixed an episode of "Undercover Boss" from 1982. Was that you in it? I will neither confirm nor deny that. But I will say this … If a little kid thinks catching the chicken pox is a good excuse for showing up five minutes late to squeeze lemons at a successful lemonade stand, that little kid deserves to get fired ... and blacklisted from the entire tri-state lemonade stand industry. Very bad man.