| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-28 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-28 |
| Image Number: |
181891 |
| Caption: |
Lemont, when a friend asks you to join a Facebook group she created, it's polite to join it. Well … maybe it's not polite for a friend to invite a friend to a Facebook group they know the friends wouldn't want to be in. Don't try to turn this around one me. Don't try to turn me turning this around on you around me. Pause ... rewind ... delete ... ok, I'd be happy to join your group. Too late!!!
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-28) |
Image #181891 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-27 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-27 |
| Image Number: |
181890 |
| Caption: |
How come you haven't joined my Latina Advertising Executives Who Collect Milk Bottles Facebook page yet, Lemont? I invited you a year ago. Susan … isn't the answer obvious? Don't let your lactose intolerance stop you from being a real friend. It's not that.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-27) |
Image #181890 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-26 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-26 |
| Image Number: |
181889 |
| Caption: |
How's your news site's Youtube channel going? After five months, it's up to paint-drying. It's … up to what? My latest video got 419 thousand views. That's the same number of views that someone's 10 Hours of Paint Drying" video got. You're right, the republic is dead. My goal is to get as many views as the Triple Cheeseburger & Chicken Nuggets Eating Sounds video.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-26) |
Image #181889 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-25 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-25 |
| Image Number: |
181888 |
| Caption: |
I'm writing a thriller about a fictional American president. He has the most appealing ideas, and gets elected by honestly winning the most votes. He appoints honorable, competent people to every post. He shows up to work and tried to make everyone's life better. That is pretty thrilling. He likes leaders of democracies more than he likes evil dictators.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-25) |
Image #181888 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-24 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-24 |
| Image Number: |
181887 |
| Caption: |
Bloomberg! Bloomberg! Bloomberg! Money! Money! Money! Money! Hillary Clinton vastly outspent Donald Trump in 2016 but still lost. Wait … What? Bloomberg win 'cause he'll spend more than Trump. Mainstream Media.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-24) |
Image #181887 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-23 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-23 |
| Image Number: |
181798 |
| Caption: |
A lot of the Youtube channels I subscribe to that review tv shows were furious about HBOs Watchmen. They weren't upset about HBO making a sequel to one of the best graphic novels of all time. They weren't upset about the writing. They weren't upset about the special effects, or the acting ... They were upset that the villain was the Ku Klux Klan. They described that as SJW wokeness being shoved down their throats. It seriously offended the alt right crowd. So I checked it out right away. It was amazing! Wait ... is that how you decide what to watch?
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-23) |
Image #181798 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-22 |
| Image Number: |
181804 |
| Caption: |
Lemont, I looked over your taxes, and you would actually qualify for Medicaid if you'd take all the deductions available to you. I'm not interested. I took all those deductions a couple years ago. Then I qualified for Medicaid. I was so happy … until I tried to buy a house. They told me that after deductions, I didn't earn enough to get a mortgage. What's more important, a house or your health? Spoken like someone who has a house.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-22) |
Image #181804 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-21 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-21 |
| Image Number: |
181803 |
| Caption: |
I came across a Youtube video of what to do if a girl starts losing interest. It was actually really great advice. The advice was to not chase after her … to not pressure her at all. Instead, you should just let her go. If she wants you, she'll come back. I have never in my life seen you go back. I didn't say it was great advice for the guy.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-21) |
Image #181803 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-20 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-20 |
| Image Number: |
181802 |
| Caption: |
At the Candorville Chronicle … Good news and bad news, Chief. Bad news first. Ok. The bad news is, there's a massive typhoon heading directly toward our bureau in China. Didn't we just close our China bureau because we ran out of money? Oh … so you've already heard the good news. Thanks for trying to make me feel better.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-20) |
Image #181802 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-19 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-19 |
| Image Number: |
181801 |
| Caption: |
At the Candorville Chronicle … We're prepared to offer you excellent medical benefits if you come back, Brown. Eh … Eh? What do you mean eh? Which Obamacare plan are you and our son on? Bronze? Gold? Silver? Aluminum foil. And the deductible on the aluminum foil plan is what, again? It doesn't matter. The next election might change everything. Not getting sick until Bernie Sanders is president is not a health care plan.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-19) |
Image #181801 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-18 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-18 |
| Image Number: |
181800 |
| Caption: |
Dick Fink did what? I had a meting in Brazil. But I noticed the ticket he booked me was to Wuhan, China. Wuhan? Why's that sound familiar? It's where the Coronavirus is. I still don't think that's proof he's trying to take your job. I checked his browser history. He'd googled Can I expense a funeral tux? Still not proof.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-18) |
Image #181800 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-17 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-17 |
| Image Number: |
181799 |
| Caption: |
Scientists discovered a fast radio burst from a half billion light years away, and it repeats every 16 days. It might be caused by some pulsar-type star … Aliens … or maybe a collision between two stars … Aliens … or maybe it's a very fast-spinning star ... Aliens. You want it to be aliens, don't you. No, no ... I totally am just as fascinated by the boring explanations.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-17) |
Image #181799 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-16 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-16 |
| Image Number: |
181704 |
| Caption: |
I failed to keep my New Year's resolution, minion. This will not end well. My resolution was to recognize your humanity. Wait … what was that, boss? You're not just another cog in my machine, Rudy. You're not like my computer, my balance sheet, my three-year-old foreign coffee bean pickers ... You have feelings. Your well being is important to me. A happy minion means happy customers, and a happy me. Do you know what I mean, minion? It means I'm getting a raise? It means I'm not going to call you a minion this year. I'm going to come up with something less demeaning to call you ... or at least I was. But I already failed. Maybe next year, minion. Very bad man.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-16) |
Image #181704 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-15 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-15 |
| Image Number: |
181710 |
| Caption: |
You're on Ask Sadie. What's your problem?! I met a lady a while back. We're both stuck in marriages we don't want to be in. We'd rather be together but we don't have the courage to end things. What do you mean courage? Ending things isn't courageous, it's cowardly. Courage means not running from misery, but embracing it, becoming its master, and delivering it upon all those around you with a vengeance.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-15) |
Image #181710 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-14 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-14 |
| Image Number: |
181709 |
| Caption: |
… So then I told him You've begged me to untie you no less than fifteen times already. I'm sick of it. Pardon me, couldn't help but overhear. It's actually fewer, not less. Fewer is for things you count. Less is for things you don't count. How'd you like to have fewer days ahead of you? Yes, yes. Much better.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-14) |
Image #181709 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-13 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-13 |
| Image Number: |
181708 |
| Caption: |
Ford's telling me my new brakes and rotors are gonna cost me $1300. Whoa! That's way too much. They're robbing you blind! I know a guy who's not a thief. I don't know, Lemont. Of all the things you do in a car … stopping is maybe the most important. I'm not sure I'd trust my brakes to a guy. Big Shady says he has an opening next week.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-13) |
Image #181708 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-12 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-12 |
| Image Number: |
181707 |
| Caption: |
That Iowa thing was crazy, right? Yeah. Campaigns and reporters spent a whole year there, and then the party botched the caucuses! … which is pretty strange anyway, if you ask me. Caucuses. Do you want to caucus with me? No thanks, I don't like to caucus. Let's all go caucus together. I thought you were talking about the incompetence. It's one of our least appealing words.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-12) |
Image #181707 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-11 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-11 |
| Image Number: |
181706 |
| Caption: |
I don't see anything wrong with Mayor Mike Bloomberg buying his way into the election. I mean, who's to say sending out millions of volunteers to knock on doors is morally superior to sending out hundreds of millions of dollars to buy advertisements? Wait ... Did you tell me a few months ago that you signed on to do an ad campaign for a new client who used to be a mayor? Don't change the subject. Dios mio.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-11) |
Image #181706 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-10 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-10 |
| Image Number: |
181705 |
| Caption: |
SNBC really didn't like that you called Mayor Bloomberg an oligarch for buying his way into the election. Oh … you saw that? Of course! I set it so my phone alerts me whenever you're on TV. I wish you wouldn't … Public speaking makes me nervous. I've seen you throw up on Fox ... seen you throw up on CNN ... seen you projective vomit on PBS ... The Muppet Show never asked me to guest star again. Anyway, I thought in this case, it was a good rebuttal to their arguments. I think Chris Matthews' mouth was open.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-10) |
Image #181705 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-09 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-09 |
| Image Number: |
181586 |
| Caption: |
I blame my cousin. Dr. Noodle. My mom never let me have the latest anything. When I was little, she didn't buy me a Rubik's Cube, she gave me an old brick. She said it was a family tradition, a toy passed down for generations. She made me wear hand-me-down clothes, first worn by my great-grandmother in the 1890s. I was the only kid in class wearing a bustle. My mom is why I can't stand old things. Everything I have, everything I do has to be brand new. I don't understand. Why, then, do you blame your cousin? Blaming the mom has been done since forever.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-09) |
Image #181586 |
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