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1. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-12-06 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-12-06 |
| Image Number: |
180645 |
| Caption: |
Feudalbanc Massacard, this is Ryan. How may I hinder you? You could tell me why you lowered my credit limit to just below my balance … and then you charged me an over-limit fee. Potomu chto my mozhem. You know Google translate exists now, right, Ryan?
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2. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-12-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-12-05 |
| Image Number: |
180644 |
| Caption: |
Hello? Hi. Do you repair new old computers? What? Well … My beloved old iMac G4 dies years ago. So I bought a new iMac and paid a kid to tear out its guts and shove them into my old G4's body. You know, kind of like if you had an old friend who passes away, so you dressed your new friend in his clothes. I'm feeling very uncomfortable. It's making a weird screaming sound.
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3. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-12-04 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-12-04 |
| Image Number: |
180643 |
| Caption: |
What's wrong, Lemont? I met a guy who said he's a professional illustrator. He said he learned everything he knows from drawing tutorials on YouTube. I said cool. So what's your job, exactly? He looked at me like I was nuts and then said I draw drawing tutorials on YouTube, of course. I think you've officially entered your old man yelling at clouds phase. Either the world's gone mad, or I have.
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4. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-12-03 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-12-03 |
| Image Number: |
180642 |
| Caption: |
The average Millennial is now in their thirties. They're starting to get wrinkles. They're starting to go bald. They're starting to be sneered at by a younger generation. Their slang and their insults are appearing in mainstream media. On tv … in newspapers ... in comic strips ... which is basically the kiss of death for their cool. Okay Boomer.
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5. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-12-02 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-12-02 |
| Image Number: |
180641 |
| Caption: |
You remember when Generation X was a big deal, Susan? Good times. Yeah. We had a good run. From break dancing all the way through the Macarena. What are you getting at? The Macarena, Susan. It ended the reign of our entire generation. In one fell swoop, we descended into irrelevance ... and we deserved to. If you want me to stop doing it at parties, just come out and say so.
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6. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-12-01 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-12-01 |
| Image Number: |
180584 |
| Caption: |
I saw that article you wrote about how California should do a public takeover of that PG&E utility company … just because they seem to keep starting massive wildfires. And to stop that they keep turning off power for millions of people. Yeah. The state's publicly-owned utilities like SMUD and Silicon Valley Power don't seem to get themselves into these predicaments. Maybe that's because they don't spend their money on lobbyists, fancy dinners, huge salaries, or dividend payments. Yeah, but Venezuela. Um ... What? That's the universally recognized trump card for any conversation. So declared by the International Association of Weaselly Arguments. I don't recognize their authority. Venezuela.
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7. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-30 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-30 |
| Image Number: |
180583 |
| Caption: |
I read your latest article. I think you misquoted General Patton, bruh. What? I doubt he ever really said No Saturn - asterisk - pound sign - dollar sign - squiggle die for his country. He won it by making some other poor Saturn - asterisk - pound sign - dollar sign - squiggle die for his country. You're just messing with me you, Ø *#$}. That, I would believe he said.
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8. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-29 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-29 |
| Image Number: |
180582 |
| Caption: |
What am I going to do with all that leftover Thanksgiving turkey? Maybe I should donate some to a homeless shelter. Maybe I could donate it to a nursing home. Or maybe I'll just use it over the next couple weeks to feed my precious baby boy. Geez, Lemont ... I'm not the only one who took seconds. Sixths, Susan ... not that I was counting.
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9. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-28 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-28 |
| Image Number: |
180581 |
| Caption: |
Hi Momma, what time should we be there for Thanksgiving dinner? Well, we would be me, Lionel, Clyde and Susan. No, Momma, of course I didn't say Clyde! Mumbled it. Whachoomean they ain't no Thanksgiving this year? It's … a … pre leap-year related thing, Clyde.
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10. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-27 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-27 |
| Image Number: |
180580 |
| Caption: |
What do you mean you're gonna be all alone on Thanksgiving? Plans fell through, bruh. Erebody canceled. Peanut … Big Oatmeal … Clarence … I'd just chill wit' you at your momma house, but she think I'm a bad influence. She ain't never liked me. (Sigh) I've been telling you since we were eight, she did not poison your cranberry sauce. Your momma cold-blooded.
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11. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-26 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-26 |
| Image Number: |
180579 |
| Caption: |
You know what I can't stand? I can't stand Okay Boomer. Every time I have something insightful to say online, some dimwit rebuts me by typing Okay Boomer. That reply takes no research, no logic, no time … It's the idiot's approximation of wit. Must … not ... say it ... Please say it ... Please say it ... Please say it ...
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12. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-25 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-25 |
| Image Number: |
180571 |
| Caption: |
I can't stand it when black people whine about so-called racism. We live in a country where hundreds of thousands of white people died in a civil war to end slavery. How could people still think racism is a big part of this country in light of that history? Well, first of all ... didn't 260,000 of those Americans die trying to keep slavery? Ancient history. Has nothing to do with anything.
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13. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-24 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-24 |
| Image Number: |
180470 |
| Caption: |
This just in: President Trump outraged the world today when he … hold on … We interrupt this story with breaking news … The President pulls troops out of Syria, abandoning the Kurds who fought on our beha -- We interrupt this story with breaking news … The President withheld military aid from Ukraine until they would agree to investigate the President's political rival, Jo -- Hold on ... We interrupt this story with breaking news ... the President seemed to advocate ethnic cleansing today, when he said -- hold one ... We interrupt this story with breaking news ... the colors ... pretty colors are talking to me. Can you hear? This just in: Trying to keep up with every one of the president's scandals may drive a @#$ crazy ... What?! This just in: (huff huff) producers and security are chasing a news anchor through the (huff huff) hallway. Click.
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14. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-23 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-23 |
| Image Number: |
180469 |
| Caption: |
I think the age of civility is over, Tyrone. That's because you're totally biased. Very dishonest. A lightweight. Sad!!! Spare change? Will work 4 food.
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15. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-22 |
| Image Number: |
180468 |
| Caption: |
Will work for $$$. Will carry on your social media feuds while you live your life, for $$$.
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16. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-21 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-21 |
| Image Number: |
180467 |
| Caption: |
The next election may be the last election. Russia hacked election systems in all fifty states last time. All signs point to that being just a trial run. And since one of our parties has spent the last couple decades suppressing votes, half the country has been trained not to care whether elections are fair. I think all votes should count, when they're cast by the right people. I heard that.
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17. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-20 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-20 |
| Image Number: |
180466 |
| Caption: |
I think everything went wrong when people decided not to care about the Iran-Contra thing. That's when we decided presidents could do whatever they want and get away with it. Our Democracy has been circling the drain of authoritarianism for the last 32 years. What we're witnessing now is just the big flush. It's a new metaphor I'm trying out. You should keep working on that.
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18. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-19 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-19 |
| Image Number: |
180465 |
| Caption: |
President been caught usin' money from his charity to buy a six-foot painting of hisself. 45 been caught defrauding students at his fake university. He been caught extorting Ukraine into interfering in the next election. An' his entire political party keep enablin' it all by makin' excuse after excuse for him ... an' smearing erebody who investigates him. Whatever, Clyde. I'm a serious journalist, I'm not going to write a hit piece about the cop who caught you jaywalking.
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19. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-18 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-18 |
| Image Number: |
180435 |
| Caption: |
Mainstream Media. Can't I just say one more thing about the latest billionaire who's running for presid … I said no!
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20. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-17 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-17 |
| Image Number: |
180297 |
| Caption: |
… So I told him, Tolstoy once wrote: Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. But he just looked at me funny and then handed me the diaper anyway. Told you inspirational quotes ain't potty-trainin' nobody.
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