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Candorville

Comics about bad times.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-27 bad time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-27 Pub. Date: 2019-04-27
Image Number: 177328
Caption: C-Dog, I'm worried the stock market will crash. Should I old or sell? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice 50¢. I get that question all the time. Here what you do: Pull out all your money … an' take it down to the alley between 42 an' 43 Vernon Street. Ask for Big Oatmeal, he offer alternative investments that give you better odds. E'rethang from dice, to dominoes, to chicken fights. Chicken fights? It's important to diversify.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-12 bad time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-12 Pub. Date: 2019-04-12
Image Number: 177117
Caption: What you just say life is? A parade of air-bursting bolides. When an extremely bright meteor hurtles toward earth, it's a bolide. If it blows up when it enters our atmosphere instead of impacting the surface … that's an airburst. Every opportunity we miss. Every time we narrowly avoid death. Every time we didn't eat a burrito that had just gone bad ... You tellin' me that burrito I snuck from you was old? Some bolides explode elsewhere.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-27 bad time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-27 Pub. Date: 2019-02-27
Image Number: 176499
Caption: We had burglars last night. Little Lionel asked Why do you eat red meat all the time, daddy? I replied. I don't eat it all the time, son. And he said Oh … Why not? I replied Because that'd be bad for me. Why? he asked. So I said Too much causes high cholesterol and increases my risk of heart disease, diabetes, and maybe even cancer. Dios mio, Lemont. Once he stopped sobbing, he tried to dig the burger out of my mouth.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-19 bad time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-19 Pub. Date: 2019-01-19
Image Number: 175845
Caption: I've never had so many people tell me to go !@#$ myself in my whole entire life, Susan. All I did was write an article called It's Time to Make Private Schools Illegal. You did what? The theory is, if the children of millionaires and billionaires had to go to public school, you can bet they'd make sure our public school systems were amazing. It's not a bad idea. Half the comments I got misspelled !@#$. So I wrote another article about how that proved my point.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-18 bad time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-18 Pub. Date: 2018-10-18
Image Number: 174494
Caption: Hey boss, grand opening's a big hit. Almost all the patrons from the old café are here, plus some new ones. What do you mean almost all the old patrons? Who's missing? I want that traitor tracked down an dealt with. Call my contact at ICE. They've got ways. They'll disguise themselves as altar boys and wait in his church ... They'll hide in the slurpee machine at his favorite 7-Eleven. they'll call and say they found his wallet and then cage him when he surfaces. ICE doesn't play around. They could probably haul him here in time for customer appreciation hour. Very bad man.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-04 bad time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-04 Pub. Date: 2018-09-04
Image Number: 173880
Caption: You might wanna get your hair checked, bruh. Your ask-frequency down 20% per year. That's a bad sight, Big L. My what? This year you asked me C-Dog, did you take my clippers? 5 times. By this time last year, you done asked 25 times. Guess how many times you asked the year before? Give. Me. Back. My. Clippers. Yo' hair growth be on a perfect negative-sloped linear Bezier curve, bruh. That @#$% serious.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-13 bad time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-13 Pub. Date: 2018-07-13
Image Number: 172717
Caption: At the refugee internment camp. I feel for the babies and their asylum-seeking parents. Most fled for their lives, only to have their families ripped apart. And when they're deported, many of those men, women and children will face certain doom. I've never known you to be so compassionate, boss. Most of them couldn't use any vast savings to bribe stooges - I mean, their connections on the city council - to donate a condemned storefront so they could open a new cafe once they're smuggled out of jail. VERY BAD MAN. Times like these make me conscious of my privilege.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-26 bad time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-26 Pub. Date: 2018-06-26
Image Number: 172488
Caption: I said, I'm a reporter and I want to come down and interview refugees at the detention facility. I'm sorry, you're breaking up. What did you say? Are you stalling for time and hoping I'll give up and go away? 'Cause that' what it seems like you're doing. I can't ... hear y ... must b ... a bad c ... nection. You just paused a bunch of times. It was obvious. No it w ... not.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-15 bad time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-15 Pub. Date: 2018-06-15
Image Number: 172216
Caption: I got a tip about a huge geological calamity that's about to happen across the bridge. This story could make my site famous. Could you watch my boy while I go cover it? 'Course, bruh. For $4,000. Cool … what? I been reading Trump's Art of the Deal. It say if a brotha want something bad enough, charge him fifty times your usual fee. Are you sure that's in there? I demand to know what page. Ok. How much that information worth to you?
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-07 bad time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-07 Pub. Date: 2018-04-07
Image Number: 170153
Caption: You know a good way to tell your friend his breath remind you of barnyard animals? My breath is just fine, Clyde. You sound defensive, bruh. Of course, I do. You said something about me that isn't true, so I'm defending myself. That's what's wrong with America: Every time an innocent person defends himself, people say that's proof he's guilty. There you go again with your defense-tivity. Your breath must be worse than I though. I'm going to quit while I'm behind.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-29 bad time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-29 Pub. Date: 2017-12-29
Image Number: 166537
Caption: You do it all the time, bruh. You convinced yourself you loved Justice League an' Batman v Superman. You convinced y'self you like Ghostbusters 2. You convinced y'self you liked From Justice to Kelly … From Justin to Kelly was criminally underrated. I ain't never seen no one so unwilling to admit he got bad taste. As musical romantic comedies starring American Idol competitors go, it was by far the best.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-02 bad time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-02 Pub. Date: 2017-12-02
Image Number: 165422
Caption: There's a lot of bad news. It's making me a little depressed. C-Dogs Incredibly Bad Advice $2. That one easy, bruh. Ere'time you hear news you don't like, call it "fake." They say someone you like did wrong? Must be fake. They say your car cause pollution? Must be fake. They say you got cancer. Fake fake fake. The ancient Buddhists say reality all in our heads, or some spit like that there. I'll give it a try.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-24 bad time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-24 Pub. Date: 2017-10-24
Image Number: 164148
Caption: Hobbler Day Care. Saul Crusher speaking. Yeah, I'm Lemont Brown. Lionel's dad … Yeah, two-year-old Lionel. He told me you said he was "bad" because he didn't want to go to sleep at nap time. When you tell a kid so early in his life that he's "bad," it affects how he sees himself. I don't pay you $500 per week to ruin my baby boy's self-esteem. When I say "you're a bad caregiver," how does that feel? Imagine if you were only two.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-13 bad time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-13 Pub. Date: 2017-03-13
Image Number: 155652
Caption: My wife keeps trying to get me to stop drinking, stop smoking, stop yelling at the kids … stop forgetting her birthday, stop insulting her mother, and stop leaving the seat up. So I told her "if you really love someone, you don't try to fundamentally transform them." And what'd she say? She said I could fundamentally transform the couch into my bed. Time.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-20 bad time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-20 Pub. Date: 2017-02-20
Image Number: 154801
Caption: Well, you look down, Lemont. What's wrong? What could possibly be wrong? Today, the White House revoked my press credentials for asking one too many questions about their secret ties to Russia … and the Democratic party revoked my press credentials for asking one too many times why they're still using the same loser strategists ... and my baby boy revoked my dad credentials for turning off "Octonauts" one too many times. We all have bad days.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-01 bad time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-01 Pub. Date: 2016-11-01
Image Number: 150472
Caption: C-Dog, my stocks haven't appreciated in years. Should I hold or sell? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice 50¢. I get that question all the time. Here what you do: Pull out all your money … an' take it down to the alley between 42 an' 43 Vernon Street. Ask for "Big Oatmeal," he offer alternative investments that give you better odds. E'rethang from dice, to dominoes, to chicken fights. Chicken fights? It's important to diversify.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-18 bad time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-18 Pub. Date: 2016-10-18
Image Number: 149905
Caption: No, baby, don't feel bad. You WERE going to pick me up. It's not your fault my flight was delayed. Taxi queue. Besides, I have a phone interview with Donald Trump now, so I don't have time for you anyway. Besides, every moment I don't see you makes me long for you even more. Can we wrap this up? I have a call to make! Ohhh, you're so sweet!
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-09 bad time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-09 Pub. Date: 2016-08-09
Image Number: 147066
Caption: How do I take care of my child, do my work, and still make time to do the things I used to do for fun? C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice $2. Your problem is you think you can have e'rethang. Butcha-cain't! Get over it! In life, you ALWAYS gotta pick two outta three. Is that backed up by any studies? Oh, so you want advice cheap, quick and well-informed?
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-08 bad time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-08 Pub. Date: 2016-08-08
Image Number: 147065
Caption: I remember I used to have hobbies. I used to collect comics, I used to read, I used to bike, I used to go to the movies … I played tennis, I played cards, I shot pool, I whittled little Vulcan hand salutes out of driftwood … But once I had a kid, that all changed. I can't remember the last time I did any of that. It's like all I do all day is make sure he doesn't drop dead. Take some time off from that. C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice $2.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-16 bad time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-16 Pub. Date: 2016-07-16
Image Number: 145821
Caption: Baton Rouge police was called 'cause someone said they saw a man with a gun sellin' CDs. The usual thing happened. Brotha didn't obey fast enough, cops rough him up, say he resisted arrest, he end up dead, an' it all on video. Then black people an' white people see two completely different things lookin' at the same exact video. I'm tellin' you bruh, Gilligan ain't never gettin' off this island. He actually got off in a pretty bad tv movie and ... never mind. Not the time.
     
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