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1. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-09-09 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-09-09 |
| Image Number: |
179311 |
| Caption: |
One hundred and seventeen. Lemme guess. That's the number of women who have rejected you today because you're a tech geek. You wish. It's the number of apps I've downloaded onto my iPhone! This took a bad turn. Worked out better than I'd hoped.
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2. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-06-24 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-06-24 |
| Image Number: |
178241 |
| Caption: |
Laurel, hi. I brought you flowers. You did. How sweet. You never bring me flowers. Never. Not once. And chocolates. Shaped like tiny cell phones. What bad thing have you done? Spill it!
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3. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-06-19 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-06-19 |
| Image Number: |
178172 |
| Caption: |
I did a bad thing. You cheated on Laurel. I cheated on Lau … huh, how did you know? The signs are so clear. You think I've never cheated on a girlfriend with a team of NFL cheerleaders I met on a cross-country bus? This is bad enough without you making me feel inferior! Was it the 49ers? The Jets? Say hi for me.
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4. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-27 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-27 |
| Image Number: |
176511 |
| Caption: |
So I used body soap to wash my face. Why is that so bad? Details matter. Pay attention to your surroundings. Face soap isn't body soap. Conditioner isn't shampoo. Moisturizer isn't hand lotion. If we're ever going to move in together and have a future you've got to pay attention to me and the nuances about my life. Conditioner isn't shampoo? I'm livid and you have stinky hair!
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5. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-26 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-26 |
| Image Number: |
176510 |
| Caption: |
Why are you upset? What did I do? You washed you face with body soap. Uh oh. Is that bad? Will it hurt me? Will I start to get body hair on my face? Will I grow a limb from my nostrils? Will I turn suddenly sarcastic? Boyfriend digging big hole.
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6. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-04-17 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-04-17 |
| Image Number: |
170593 |
| Caption: |
Can I ask you something man-to-man? Shoot. Let's say person A developed a crush on person B, who happens to be less productive. Let's say person A then conducted a study that concluded there's a 78.9% chance that such a crush leads to dating, then to cohabitation, and finally to person B becoming a a drain on person A's resources. Hypothetically, what's the best way to get person B to compensate person A for the time I ... he ... spent conducting the study? Very bad man.
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7. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-09-28 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-09-28 |
| Image Number: |
163106 |
| Caption: |
I really hope Medicare for all passes, little buddy. If it passes, no one will be forced to stay in a bad marriage just for the health insurance. There'll be million of men re-entering the dating scene. The competition will help me keep my skills honed. Of course, all the extra women on the scene might negate the challenge ... Maybe I should give this more thought. I'm worried that if it passes, I'll be able to get checked, and they'll remove my pulsating mole. Throbby? But you love Throbby.
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8. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-08-19 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-08-19 |
| Image Number: |
161548 |
| Caption: |
Do you believe in global warming? No, because it snowed last winter. The whole thing's a hoax. Just like the so-called "moon landing." I can't do this. I'm telling you, respecting different opinions triples your dating pool. I'm not that good a swimmer. Maybe a big pool's a bad idea.
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9. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-04-06 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-04-06 |
| Image Number: |
156486 |
| Caption: |
As our CEO-in-Chief has demonstrated, it's good for a businessman to surround himself with children who'll cover for … I mean, help him. I've tried adopting a baby, but the agency grew suspicious just because I asked for the type least likely to sell out its parent. Unfortunately, I can't just clone myself. I need an actual mate if I want to produce accomplices ... I mean "off-spring." Your job, minion, is to craft a date-a-dude.com profile for me that'll recruit ... I mean "attract" a suitable mate. Very bad man.
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10. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-02-10 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-02-10 |
| Image Number: |
154259 |
| Caption: |
You're a hard man to read, Randy. At times, you seem like a cad. A Don Juan. A scoundrel. But at other times, you seem wise. Mature. Supportive. Ladies are most responsive to a "bad guy" to "good guy" ratio of 7 to 6.3756892. My findings have been published in the Oxford Journal of Lovin'.
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11. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-02-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-02-05 |
| Image Number: |
153213 |
| Caption: |
I've decided it's time for me to start dating again. Again? I've known you for twelve years, and I've never seen you date. I've been focused on work to the exclusion of all else. I have no hobbies, no friends, no interests at all that are unrelated to by business. Lately that's started to take a toll on me, Rudy. I've become sullen. Depressed. Lonely. Bitter. Morose. My customers have begun to notice, and I worry my bad mood will drive them away. So ... you want to focus less on business because being all business is bad for business. Also, true love is eventually tax deductible.
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12. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-09-02 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-09-02 |
| Image Number: |
147935 |
| Caption: |
Armstrong, do you remember the first girl you ever kissed? Of course I do, minion. Here, let me call it up … Ah, yes. Little Alice Chang, of 847 Wickerwood Lane. I have her preosculation agreement right here, dated 1-3-1979. Her what? It's like a prenup. It specifies that a kiss does not constitute an official "relationship." My lawyer went to town on her when she later demanded half my Twinkies. Very bad man. |
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13. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-08-18 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-08-18 |
| Image Number: |
147400 |
| Caption: |
Armstrong, I'm not qualified to give you dating advice. When it comes to that stuff, I'm the worst. Because Randy's advice is as good as it gets. There's nothing to improve on, so it's a bad investment. But if someone gives me glaringly bad advice, I can easily spot the errors, correct them, and compile it all into a best-selling advice book. Dating tip #1: Dating is not an investment. Beautiful. Keep 'em coming. |
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14. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-12-28 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-12-28 |
| Image Number: |
137198 |
| Caption: |
My mom said I can't come here anymore. What? Why not, Billy? She said she sends me here to get hot chocolate, not to get bad relationship advice. What "bad" advice? All my advice is solid gold. You told me to call the IRS with an anonymous tip about Andrea Wheaton's father avoiding taxes, so next time he tells her I'm a bad influence he'll look like a hypocrite. That didn't work? |
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15. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-11-24 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-11-24 |
| Image Number: |
135700 |
| Caption: |
Boss, what's the best way to break up with someone without hurting her feelings? Hush money. What? Offer the dumpee a cashier's check for $5,000 on the condition she refrains from having hurt feelings. If she just can't do that, then you should be compassionate and offer her a $1,000 check as long as she agrees not to burden you with her hurt feelings. Very bad man. Compassion is an essential component of any severance package. |
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16. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-11-04 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-11-04 |
| Image Number: |
134799 |
| Caption: |
Can I ask you something man-to-man? Shoot. Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa? What order would best simulate sincerity? Very bad man. |
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17. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-09-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-09-22 |
| Image Number: |
132889 |
| Caption: |
Rudy, I think you're ready for more responsibilities. You mean you want me to handle our suppliers? You want me to go to Colombia and oversee the coffee bean supply chain? You want to give me an expense account? I want you to scope out our patrons and alert me if any of them seem to be good fits for me romantically. But don't let them know you're running credit and background checks on them. It could ruin the mood. Very bad man. |
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18. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-04-11 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-04-11 |
| Image Number: |
125279 |
| Caption: |
Do you believe in global warming? No, because it snowed last winter. The whole thing's a hoax. Just like the so-called "moon landing". I can't do this. I'm telling you, respecting different opinion triples your dating pool. I'm not that good a swimmer. Maybe a big pool's a bad idea. |
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19. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2014-05-29 |
Pub. Date: |
2014-05-29 |
| Image Number: |
111861 |
| Caption: |
Armstrong, I'm not qualified to give you dating advice. When it comes to that stuff, I'm the WORST. Why not ask Randy? Because Randy's advice is as good as it gets. There's nothing to improve on, so it's a bad investment. But if someone gives me glaringly bad advice, I can easily spot the errors, correct them, and compile it all into a best-selling advice book. Dating tip #1: Dating is not an investment. Beautiful. Keep 'em coming. |
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20. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2014-02-02 |
Pub. Date: |
2014-02-02 |
| Image Number: |
107240 |
| Caption: |
I've decided it's time for me to start dating again. Again? I've known you for twelve years, and I've never seen you date. I've been focused on work to the exclusion of all else. I have no hobbies, no friends, no interests at all that are unrelated to my business. Lately, that's started to take a toll on me, Rudy. I've become sullen. Depressed. Lonely. Bitter. Morose. My customers have begun to notice, and I worry my bad mood will drive them away. So ... you want to focus less on business because being all business is bad for business. Also, true love is eventually tax deductible. |
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