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Candorville

Comics about backing off.

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (48 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-18 back off 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-18 Pub. Date: 2019-08-18
Image Number: 178993
Caption: Kelly messaged me again. After a year of silence. She sent me a photo of an ice cube tray. No words or anything. Just the photo. Dr. Noodle. How did that make you feel? Like she was trying to tell me something. So I studied the picture for a long time. And then it occurred to me: I'd seen that ice cube tray before! it was mine! In my freshman year of college, she stole it and refused to give it back. I see. What do you think this means? I think it means she still loves me with the same passion she felt for me back then, and that she wants me to drop everything and fly to her and run off with her into the sunset. Sometimes, narcissists will play games just to make sure others are thing about the ... When I asked what it meant, she said That hurts and blocked me!
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-09 back off 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-09 Pub. Date: 2019-04-09
Image Number: 177114
Caption: Remember Principal Pervee, from high school? I ran into him the other day. I'd forgotten all about that guy. Didn't he use to walk up behind you and sniff your hair? And didn't he use to rest his hands on your hips when he talked to you? Yeah. He wasn't the only man to do that, so I used to just sort of shrug it off, like it was to be expected. Back then, we didn't really see how wrong it was. Didn't you once accidentally spill a whole bag of sugar into old Pervee's gas tank?
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-07 back off 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-07 Pub. Date: 2019-04-07
Image Number: 176834
Caption: I haven't taken a vacation in fifteen years. Wait a minute … didn't you say something about visiting Bermuda? Wasn't that just, like, a year ago? That was business. I was selling collectibles. And two years ago, didn't you say something about snorkeling off Noanoa Island? Newsweak. That was business. I was chipping off some of the last living pieced of our dying coral reefs, and selling them on the black market. If you can write it off, it's not a vacation. Didn't you just get back from Hawaii? That was business ...
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-23 back off 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-23 Pub. Date: 2019-01-23
Image Number: 175942
Caption: Why you always arguin' with other journalists on Twitter, bruh? It ain't a good look. They call you a useful idiot, you call them a corporate stooge, don't nobody come out on top. Before you know it, you an' Anderson Blitzer gonna be throwin' hands, or havin' a dance-battle in that alley. Wait ... he and I were having a private argument. How'd you see it? That ain't important right now. Give me back my phone!!!
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-29 back off 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-29 Pub. Date: 2018-10-29
Image Number: 174715
Caption: This is child protective services, how may we hinder you? Hi, I had my son strapped to my back while I was working. I was reporting on how early voting was going. We were on a bus with a bunch of elderly black people who were on their way to vote, and they were all ordered to get off. I interviewed county officials about why they did that. Explain to me how that's child endangerment! The child was in danger of losing faith in his system of government. Give me back my son!!
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-28 back off 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-28 Pub. Date: 2018-10-28
Image Number: 174529
Caption: I hope we never terraform Mars. House of Java Café. Grand Opening. Why not, Randy? Because, if we gave Mars oxygen and air pressure, we wouldn't need space suits. If we gave Mars trees and oceans, it wouldn't be one big desert anymore. There's just something sexy about driving a dune buggy across a desert planet with only half an inch of space helmet separating you from certain death. Also, if we give it a magnetic field, we wouldn't be bombarded by radiation. Ok ... I'll bite ... what's bad about not being bombarded by radiation? Isn't it obvious? When you look at me, little buddy, you're looking at the pinnacle of human evolution. But my line has taken us as far as possible. I come from a long line of Randies. I've traced my lineage all the way back to a romantic primate named Randy Erectus. He was the first hominid to get up off his knuckles and stand up straight, and that as just in response to a beautiful sunset. Imagine what my genes would do in response to a huge dose of radiation? You really should have your own science show.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-08 back off 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-08 Pub. Date: 2018-01-08
Image Number: 167089
Caption: How was your New Years? Great. This year, I was designated good guy with a gun. You know how every year, bozos all over America fire off their semi-automatic rifles into the air to ring in the new year? Well, the NRA has a hotline for that. You call it, they send out a good guy with a gun to blast all those bullets out of the sky before they can come back down on you and your kids ... You're joking, right? Of course I'm joking. Everyone knows those bullets don't come back down.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-03 back off 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-03 Pub. Date: 2018-01-03
Image Number: 166781
Caption: Behold, for I am come unto you, who will deliver my New Laws … Clyde. Clyde! Keep it down. Come no closer. Take off they shades, for the place where you lie is holy ground. You sure that ain't "lay," bruh? I … I do not think so. I am pretty sure it is "lie." Why don't you double-check that an' get back to me 'round noon. One "layeth" down a book. One "lieth" in the be ... this is not the point.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-10 back off 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-10 Pub. Date: 2017-12-10
Image Number: 165352
Caption: I've been racking my brain trying to think of every interaction I've ever had with a woman. Dr. Noodle. I mean, when I was in my twenties, I did what guys in their twenties often did: I hit on women. Lots of them. We used to think that if a lady wasn’t interested, we just weren't trying hard enough. There were books about how to be more clever. How to be a pickup artist. There were times at the club when I was dancing with a lady, thought I had a shot, and went in for a kiss. Sometimes they didn't even know they were into me until I kissed them. But then they kissed back. Other times, they pushed me off and that was that ... or so I thought. Now, at any moment, some random woman could come forward and ruin my life. Well, lets start by acknowledging it's a healthy thing for society that men are learning what it's like to live in fear, for a change. Doesn't feel healthy.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-29 back off 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-29 Pub. Date: 2017-05-29
Image Number: 158600
Caption: Please store your personal electronics. Can we take them back out yet? No. How 'bout now? No. How 'bout now? No. Can't you people go twenty minutes without staring into your beeping rectangles? No!
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-09 back off 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-09 Pub. Date: 2017-02-09
Image Number: 154240
Caption: Thank you, Clyde. I don't know what you mean, bruh. Last year, I asked you to stream "Young Justice" on Netflix, because huge subscriber numbers could resurrect it for another season. You blew me off. But I just went back through your old tweets and saw that a week before they renewed it, you told all you 958,000 followers to watch it. Must've been a type, get outta here. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone you did something nice.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-26 back off 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-26 Pub. Date: 2016-12-26
Image Number: 152624
Caption: Hi momma. I'm back from Canada. It was beautiful there. Can I come visit you? I just want to see the old house. My old room. I don't know why. What do you mean "that'll be $125 a night"? I don't care what "the going rate" is on AirBnB. I'm your son … What do you mean try back in the off-season.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-30 back off 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-30 Pub. Date: 2016-09-30
Image Number: 149029
Caption: What the -- ?! Hey, whose luggage is this over my seat?! It's mine. I just didn't feel like lugging it back here. You're throwing off the whole system! It's gonna be anarchy now! There's room for yours back here, pal.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-13 back off 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-13 Pub. Date: 2016-04-13
Image Number: 141798
Caption: I've been looking for you all day, Clyde. I'm in hiding, bruh. My phone be ringin' off the hook. People be bangin' on my door an whatnot askin' me for favors. Sometimes the only way a brotha can get some peace an' quiet is to run far away. I still have no idea how you came to be a superdelegate. It all started back in sixth grade when I set up that "Alibis Provided for $2" stand near city hall.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-19 back off 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-19 Pub. Date: 2016-03-19
Image Number: 140514
Caption: Whachooneed, whachooneed … I got a toothbrush, a bus pass, a gas card, an alternative to Obamacare … Wait … back up. What kind of toothbrush? … Because my toothbrush recently went missing. I wrote my name on it. Lemme see the handle. Can't. It's the kind that come with a filed-off handle.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-13 back off 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-13 Pub. Date: 2015-04-13
Image Number: 125562
Caption: This country hopelessly broken, dawg. When that middle-aged brotha Walter Scott got shot down in the back like a dog, an' it was all caught on video … I thought "this time, ain't NOBODY gonna say the black man deserved it." I told you, whenever the police shoot an unarmed black man, stay off the internet. How anyone s'posed to stay off the net THAT often?
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-04 back off 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-04 Pub. Date: 2015-04-04
Image Number: 124962
Caption: I just watched "Rescue from Gilligan's Island" on Youtube. After all those years, they finally made it home and were welcomed as heroes. Then they went their own separate ways and tried to resume their lives. Only they realized their journey had changed them so much they no longer fit into their old lives, so they got back together and sailed off into the unknown. It's been 14 years. You really need to get over it. Even Gilligan's Island had a better ending that Star Trek: Voyager.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-26 back off 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-26 Pub. Date: 2015-03-26
Image Number: 124644
Caption: If you could go back in time ten years, but you couldn't come back, and you would not be ten years younger … would you do it? Only if I were an idiot. But if you went into the past, you could invest wisely and get rich. Yeah, but I'd die ten years earlier. We may only be decades away from figuring out how to end aging, or how to upload our consciousness to immortal android bodies. If I die ten years early, I might miss out on that. You know that stuff would only be for rich people, right? I've got $8,000 in an IRA.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-11 back off 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-11 Pub. Date: 2014-05-11
Image Number: 110574
Caption: No caption. (Lemont and Clyde wade in the ocear. Clyde carries Susan on his back and Lemont carries an NSA agent on his).
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-22 back off 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-22 Pub. Date: 2014-03-22
Image Number: 108868
Caption: Whachooneed, whachooneed … I got a toothbrush, a bus pass, a gas card, an alternative to Obamacare … Wait … back up. What kind of toothbrush? … Because my toothbrush recently went missing. I wrote my name on the handle. Lemme see the handle. Can't. it the kind that come with a filed-off handle.
     
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