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Candorville

Comics about attorneys.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-26 attorney 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-26 Pub. Date: 2018-04-26
Image Number: 170822
Caption: I really liked your article about the raid on Trump's lawyers office. Thanks, Susan. You know, I wasn't the first journalist to get Trump's lawyer's lawyer's statement. But I was the first to get Trump's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's statement … through his lawyer, I mean. Dios mio.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-25 attorney 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-25 Pub. Date: 2018-04-25
Image Number: 170821
Caption: 20 million people have read my article about the raid on Trump's lawyer's office. You must've read it. A lot of them were blown away with the scoop I got. You must've been blown away. I got an anonymous tip, so I drove through the night and hid out in a potted plant right in his office. I saw the whole thing unfold. You must be impressed. It was a very nice article, Lemont. You hated it.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-13 attorney 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-13 Pub. Date: 2017-08-13
Image Number: 160919
Caption: Hi momma … What do you mean you've been deported? … Yes, yes, I do know about your love for bean pie. What's that have to do with … Really? ICE raided Muhammad's Bean Pie Shack? … But why would they think you weren't a citizen? … So what if you didn't have ID! This is Ameri -- They did what? They asked you questions to make you prove you're a citizen? ... What questions? ... I see. Listen, momma, when armed goons handcuff you and demand that you tell them who the president it, I don't care what your politics are, you don't answer "Donald Duck." ... Yes, momma, I do see the similarities. But the time for political satire is before they come for you. Not during. Yes, I am flossing regular -- Momma, let me call a lawyer -- Yes, I know, but Cousin Pookie is a divorce attorney. No, it's not the same --
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-23 attorney 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-23 Pub. Date: 2017-05-23
Image Number: 158341
Caption: Note to self: Call lawyer, ask if he has any experience with charges of treason. What's lawyer got to do … got to do with it … What? What are you doing? Tina Turner. My second favorite singer, after Clay Aiken. She's amazing. I investigated every single one of her concerts. Good times. Wanna see my Tina Turner tattoo? I'm not a Russian spy!! What is this, 1985?! Good year. Tina was in "Mad Max" that year.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-14 attorney 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-14 Pub. Date: 2015-05-14
Image Number: 126619
Caption: You anti-unarmed-man-getting-beaten-or-killed-ists. You always pick the wrong hero for your cause. Yeah, the state's attorney says he shouldn't have been arrested … this time. And he had a long history of being arrested! He's been arrested 15 or so times! That changes everything! Was he convicted 15 or so times? I don't see what that has to do with anything.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-19 attorney 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-19 Pub. Date: 2014-05-19
Image Number: 111554
Caption: We don’t want any. We ain't selling any. We jus' spreadin' the good news. Oh. No offense, but I don’t want any Jehovah's Witnesses ringing out door ell. Me neither. But … I thought you were saying you were a Jehovah's Witness. Never said that. Oh. We with Jehovah's Alibi.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-05 attorney 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-05 Pub. Date: 2013-12-05
Image Number: 104627
Caption: Here's the thing, C-Dog … Yeah, your last album sold almost 15,000 copies … … And yeah, we supposed to give you 50% of the profits … … But there was no profit, 'cause our expenses were more than the proceeds. … For instance, we had to pay a lawyer $50k. Thug 4 Life. What for? To make it look like your album didn't earn a profit.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-28 attorney 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-28 Pub. Date: 2011-10-28
Image Number: 67158
Caption: Judge Dubois delivers her decision. Custody cases are rarely this cut and dry. On one hand, we have a father who's suffered from psychotic delusions, has no money, and spends time with unsavory characters … And on the other hand, we have a mother who happens to be my daughter ... We're dead. Whom I personally know to be crazy-making, lying, manipulative, free-loading, and is, herself, the epitome of an unsavory character.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-27 attorney 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-27 Pub. Date: 2011-10-27
Image Number: 67157
Caption: Hello, Lemont. I just wanted to wish you luck and show you there are no hard feelings. Well … Thanks, Roxanne. In fact, after mother … I mean, the judge … grants me full custody, I promise only to tell our son about your many shortcomings in the most positive light. My attorney tell me I have a good chance, Roxanne. We've given the judge a lot to think about. The judge is ready to rule?! It's only been thirty seconds! We're dead! We're ... Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't see you standing there. How much of that did you ... Maybe I'll do you a favor and not tell him about you at all.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-26 attorney 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-26 Pub. Date: 2011-10-26
Image Number: 67156
Caption: Closing Arguments. Your honor, that was a very moving closing by Mr. Brown's attorney. I'd like to point out two things, though. Yes, it was brave of Mr. Brown to fight for custody of his son even though his flaws are many and readily apparent to all, but ... My client, Roxanne, is your daughter. That's number one. Number two is ... Just kidding. We really don't need a number two, do we? I think I do.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-25 attorney 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-25 Pub. Date: 2011-10-25
Image Number: 67155
Caption: Closing Arguments. Your honor, there are many reasons to deny my client custody of his son. He's black and poor, the mother's white and rich. He hangs with thugs and nobodies, she hobnobs with the rich and politically connected. But your honor … My client knows all this. And he came here anyway, knowing all his flaws would be exposed and ridiculed! What does that tell you, your honor? That he's an idiot? That he's a moron? That he loves his son that much!
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-24 attorney 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-24 Pub. Date: 2011-10-24
Image Number: 67154
Caption: Closing Arguments. Your honor, you've heard a lot of reasons why Lemont Brown should not be given custody of Lionel. You've heard that his friends are thugs, liars and miscreants. You've heard he's a poor, pudgy Star Trek fanatic who may be mentally unhinged and never calls his mother. Get to the "but" already! Haha, you said "butt!"
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-03 attorney 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-03 Pub. Date: 2011-10-03
Image Number: 66211
Caption: I'm giving the closing argument tonight in Lemont Brown's custody hearing. Billy Meeks, Kid Lawyer. He's got no chance. I think instead of showing up, I'll get a "stomache," fake my own death, and move to Disneyland to start a new life. Um ... Lemont? Billy here. Disregard that text, it was meant for my friend Clem, and hat totally nothing at all to do with you.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-04 attorney 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-04 Pub. Date: 2011-08-04
Image Number: 63974
Caption: So how did your testimony go? Mr. Braun, is it not true that you were in a sanitarium for two weeks spouting nonsense and you're unfit to be a father. "Mr. Braun"? Um … my evil ex's lawyer didn't know who he was messing with. I'm sorry, it's "Brown," not "Braun." ... Sir. I sure set him straight. Yay, Lemont!!!
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-19 attorney 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-19 Pub. Date: 2011-07-19
Image Number: 63527
Caption: My lawyer says I have to testify, because Benny Russell's testimony devastated my case. What did Mr. Russell say? I … I don't want to talk about it. What? Why not? Tell me! You don't want to know. Now I really have to know! Tell me! It's much too horrible to tlak about. Ok. Hey ... you're supposed to ask four times! It's the rule!
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-14 attorney 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-14 Pub. Date: 2011-07-14
Image Number: 63190
Caption: You're gonna have to testify. Ok. That eyewitness testimony was really damaging. It made you look nuts. Like when he said you claimed you unleashed an ancient evil that'll end the world. You have to testify that it was just a euphemism for passing gas or something. I SAID I'm sorry already.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-13 attorney 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-13 Pub. Date: 2011-07-13
Image Number: 63189
Caption: To prove Lemont is insane, Roxanne's lawyer questions an eyewitness … Did Mr. Brown ever say anything to you about Roxanne Dubois? He said she snored, had lousy taste in music, didn't appreciate the subtle humor of "I Dream of Jeanne," and that she's a 400-year-old vampire. Would you characterize that as "crazy"? Of course. Everyone knows "Bewitched" was much better. What? What?
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-30 attorney 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-30 Pub. Date: 2011-06-30
Image Number: 62674
Caption: Dr. Noodle, would you say Lemont Brown is insane, and therefore an unfit parent? You'll say Lemont is insane. Or I'll eat you. I'm Dr. Noodle. You're safe here. You can trust me. Lem … Lemont Brown is … … every bit as sane as I am.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-14 attorney 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-14 Pub. Date: 2011-06-14
Image Number: 62124
Caption: You're happy with your lawyer? But just yesterday, you said your lawyer's in over his head. Yeah, but compared to Roxanne's lawyer … Your honor, we may need a continuance, for about 15-20 years. I may be … um … otherwise occupied. Her lawyer is John Edwards? I'm happy with my lawyer.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-01 attorney 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-01 Pub. Date: 2011-06-01
Image Number: 61586
Caption: So the judge ruled out DNA. I still have hundreds of pictures of Lionel and me together that prove I'm his dad. I have pictures of me and the Three Stooges together. Photoshop is so WIN! I miss the '90s. Look: it's me, you and Justin Bieber.
     
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