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Candorville

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-31 assistance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-31 Pub. Date: 2018-07-31
Image Number: 173241
Caption: Dick? I want you to send Mr. Fitzhugh a ficus plant for his birthday. What do you mean am I sure that's a good idea? Look, Dick Fink, you're my assistant. Every single time I ask you to do something, you ask if I'm sure that's a good idea. Enough. That doesn't assist me. Yes, I'm sure it doesn't assist m - just order the stupid plant! Ok ... if you're sure.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-05 assistance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-05 Pub. Date: 2016-07-05
Image Number: 145503
Caption: Dick? I want you to send Mr. Fitzhugh a ficus plant for his birthday. What do you mean am I sure that's a good idea? Look, Dick Fink, you're my assistant. Every single time I ask you to do something, you ask if I'm "sure that's a good idea." Enough. That doesn't assist me. Yes, I'm sure it doesn't assist m - just order the stupid plant! Ok ... if you're sure.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-09 assistance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-09 Pub. Date: 2016-01-09
Image Number: 137380
Caption: Scuse me, you know how to get to west 73rd street. Yeah. Take the 409 east to Slauson, go straight past that fool Dwayne on the corner … Hang a left, another left … two more lefts … … Get back on the 409 west, exit on Florence, go two blocks and you're there. Need me to write that down? Y'know, it's okay to say "I don't know." (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-12-16).
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-03 assistance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-03 Pub. Date: 2015-02-03
Image Number: 122418
Caption: How was I supposed to know it was innocent? You asked me to "hold something" for you. Never in the history of man has that turned out well for the person who's said "ok." Yeah, well Big Oatmeal an' the rest of the boys found it in my closet. All I could think of to save my rep was to say "I sell them things for $5 at the playground." I'm still not helping you break into "Big Oatmeal's" house to steal back your Teddy Ruxpin. You ain't no real friend.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-02 assistance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-02 Pub. Date: 2015-02-02
Image Number: 122417
Caption: I need you to hold somethin' for me, bruh. No. But I swear it won't get you into any trouble. No. Ain't you s'posed to help your friends? No. "I need you to hold something for me" don't always end bad. NO.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-16 assistance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-16 Pub. Date: 2014-12-16
Image Number: 120250
Caption: Scuse me, you know how to get to west 73rd street. Yeah. Take the 409 east to Slauson, go straight past that fool Dwayne on the corner … Hang a left, another left … two more lefts … … Get back on the 409 west, exit on Florence, go two blocks and you're there. Need me to write that down? Y'know, it's okay to say "I don't know." (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-04-19)
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-26 assistance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-26 Pub. Date: 2014-06-26
Image Number: 112914
Caption: Siri, is this the right train to take to get to the Metrodome? Which train do you want to take to get to the Metrodome? That's what I'm asking you. Here is what I found online about "That's a find Raft hippo … " Siri, you're not being very helpful. I think that's subject to opinion.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-18 assistance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-18 Pub. Date: 2014-05-18
Image Number: 110848
Caption: I got so burned the other week when I grabbed my Massacreforce 7 Sr-25 carbine sniper rifle and rushed to support that Cliven Bundy guy. I had no idea he'd turn out to be a big old racist who'd say that "negroes" are lazy, idle porch-sitter who were better off as slaves than they are receiving public assistance. What a fool! What an idiot! We should've used the official code words! You don't say "negroes," you say "inner city." You don't say blacks are lazy parasites who should learn to pick cotton again, you say "the inner city has an 'entitlement culture.'" It's much easier to pretend racism is over when racists aren't so indelicate about it.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-02 assistance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-02 Pub. Date: 2014-01-02
Image Number: 105640
Caption: I talk really fast why do I talk so fast why can't I slow down why do I speed up … STOP. You talk fast 'cause you insecure. C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice $2. You think no one wanna hear what you have to say, so you try to jam it all in before they lose patience with you. So you're saying I should speak more slowly ... to exude confidence and ... Whatever gimme my $2. (This cartoon originally published 2011-01-06).
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-12 assistance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-12 Pub. Date: 2012-01-12
Image Number: 75071
Caption: What do you mean I'm ineligible for unemployment insurance? You're not eligible if you quit your job without good cause. You don't think choosing to go get my son instead of going on an overseas assignment for a month was a good cause? If you want to plead your case, we can schedule an ignoring. You mean a "hearing"? What did I say?
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-11 assistance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-11 Pub. Date: 2012-01-11
Image Number: 75070
Caption: I'm highly educated. I'm a hard worker. I've had a job - sometimes four at once - ever since I was 13. I'll find a job any day now. I've never had to use unemployment insurance in my life and I never will. Never! Daddy, I'm hungwee. Hello, you've reached the state unemployment office.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-10 assistance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-10 Pub. Date: 2012-01-10
Image Number: 75069
Caption: Unemployment insurance is not a handout. You paid into it every month when you were working … So there's nothing wrong with using it when you need to. In general, that's true. But when you're the one applying for it, it feels like begging. Swallow your pride, Lemont. I can't even swallow aspirin.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-30 assistance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-30 Pub. Date: 2011-12-30
Image Number: 74743
Caption: I wouldn't get on unemployment insurance even if I qualified. I've never taken a handout in my life. While everyone else was getting grants and loans, I worked four jobs to put myself through college! I thought that's cause you procrastinated and missed all the filing deadlines. That's not how I re-remember it.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-29 assistance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-29 Pub. Date: 2011-12-29
Image Number: 74742
Caption: Why you don't get on unemployment? No. Pretend you paralyzed and get on disability? No. Turn to a sordid life of crime? NO. Listen, I can't help you if you don't want to be helped. Good talk, Clyde. Thug 4 life.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-22 assistance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-22 Pub. Date: 2011-12-22
Image Number: 74336
Caption: Be honest, Lemont … Why aren't you getting a tree of gifts or dressing up like Santa for your little boy? Christmas shouldn’t be about material things. 'Cause I lost my job and can't afford it. Lemont, can I get Lionel a tree? I mean, I haven't had time to get him a gift, so it'd really help me out. Let me help you. No, thanks. Yes, please!
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-01-06 assistance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-01-06 Pub. Date: 2011-01-06
Image Number: 55834
Caption: I talk really fast why do I talk so fast why can't I slow down why do I speed up … STOP. You talk fast 'cause you insecure. C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice $2. You think no one wanna hear what you have to say, so you try to jam it all in before they lose patience with you. So you're saying I should speak more slowly ... to exude confidence and ... Whatever gimme my $2.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-06-16 assistance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-06-16 Pub. Date: 2010-06-16
Image Number: 48467
Caption: Calling Lemont Brown. Hello? Lemont, it's Loafer Meeks, your attorney. After the process servers all vanished, I decided to serve the subpoena to your ex-fiancée myself. She's chained me in the basement and I'm about to die an agonizing, gruesome death. Send help! Hahaha, just kidding ... This is Lemont's voice mail! Leave a message. Beep.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-26 assistance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-26 Pub. Date: 2010-03-26
Image Number: 45426
Caption: Dick, I want you to track down Mr. Fitzhugh and find out why he's interviewing people to replace me! Dick? What are you doing? You're my assistant. Shouldn't you be at your desk assisting me? So anyway, sir … that's why I think I would make a good Director of Advertising/PR. Are you interviewing people to replace your boss? what would give you that idea? So when do I start?
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-15 assistance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-15 Pub. Date: 2010-01-15
Image Number: 42961
Caption: Oh don't act so insulted. My friend Lemont's engaged to this evil woman who's totally wrong for him. I've tried talking sense into him for years, Dick. Years. I didn't know what else to do. So you told him you were madly in love with ME … … So he'd know what it felt like to have a friend who's involved with the "scum of the Earth." Well, it WAS you who tried to have me deported. That was never proven.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-14 assistance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-14 Pub. Date: 2010-01-14
Image Number: 42960
Caption: At the ad agency … I need you to do me a little favor, Dick. Tiny, teensy little favor. And feel free to say no if any way you find this to be unprofessional. Ok. Next time my friend Lemont calls, I need you to pretend you and I are having a mad, passionate love affair. Ok. What? And I need you to collate these memos.
     
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