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Candorville

Comics about Americans.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-05 American 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-05 Pub. Date: 2019-02-05
Image Number: 176171
Caption: I found out something last night that just totally destroyed my entire worldview. The burrito, as most Americans know it, did not actually come from Mexico. Or maybe it did. The internet is of two minds about the issue. The point is, if you can't count on the burrito being Mexican, you can't count on anything. I have something to tell you about Chop Suey.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-16 American 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-16 Pub. Date: 2019-01-16
Image Number: 175842
Caption: I read your article 'bout how it turned out the @#$% that shot that black girl was black, not white. I read the comments under it. It was almost nothin' but white people gleeful about it. They was so busy rubbing it in your face, they forgot they talkin' 'bout the murder of a precious little girl. I don't think I've ever heard you say gleeful before in my whole entire life ... or precious. @#$% ... Them bigots got me all turned 'round.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-15 American 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-15 Pub. Date: 2019-01-15
Image Number: 175841
Caption: Hah! You race-baiters got owned! I read your article last week about that little black girl who got shot. How embarrassing for you. When the police said the suspect was a white man in a truck, you all wanted to talk about racism. But it turned out the real shooter was a couple of black guys. Now you're talking about guns and gangs, but not one mention of racism. It's normal to chance your focus when you get new facts. Ha! You flip-flopper. Bet you wish you hadn't made such a big deal out of a little girl getting shot.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-12 American 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-12 Pub. Date: 2019-01-12
Image Number: 175741
Caption: This country's overrun with people who hate talking about racism more than they hate racism itself. I wrote an article about a breaking story. I called it White Man in a Pickup Truck Shoots into Black Family's Car, Kills Seven-Year-Old. Hundreds of people replied Why do you have to bring race into it? Bet they came up with all kinds of excuses. On of them said Some pickup-truck drivers just really don't like cars.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-07 American 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-07 Pub. Date: 2018-12-07
Image Number: 175266
Caption: I read your article about Thanksgiving. Great. I think it's shameful you would somehow find fault with the Pilgrims and the brave settlers who founded the greatest nation on earth. My family came over on a boat to forge a mighty and wonderful nation and I don't appreciate you badmouthing them. Your family came over on a boat? On it, under it ... same difference.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-06 American 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-06 Pub. Date: 2018-12-06
Image Number: 175265
Caption: I read your article about Thanksgiving. Yeah? Yeah. I think you're right that we should turn it from a day of celebration into a national day of mourning … when we reflect on the cultures and the millions of lives settlers destroyed when they founded this nation. I'm not sure about the name Mourngiving, though. I am.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-05 American 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-05 Pub. Date: 2018-12-05
Image Number: 175264
Caption: We forgot something at the Thanksgiving party the other week. Whachoo-mean? We forgot to not have one. It celebrates a false creation myth that we tell ourselves so we can forget that what really happened was a massive genocide. This is why we never let you say the toast, Lemont. There shouldn't have been a toast. I guess it a coincidence you only sayin' all this after you finally run out of leftovers.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-03 American 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-03 Pub. Date: 2018-11-03
Image Number: 174720
Caption: I read your stupid article about so-called voter-suppression. How is it discrimination if the rules apply to everyone? So what if Georgia's exact match system rejects your voter registration if any public servant ever typo'd your name in a state document? If it's good enough for John Smith, it's good enough for Mahershalahashbat Siddhartha. And not being allowed to vote without a street address doesn't just affect Native Americans on reservations ... it affects everyone who doesn't have a street address.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-02 American 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-02 Pub. Date: 2018-11-02
Image Number: 174719
Caption: Was the foster family child protective services put you with nice to you, son? Yes! We aw got the watch the Amewican fwag on tv, and we got to pwedge awegiance to Donawd Twump. You meant that the other way around, right? … right? I leawned to shoot a Kawashnikov and a wocket wauncher.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-23 American 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-23 Pub. Date: 2018-10-23
Image Number: 174601
Caption: Thousands of Native Americans might not be allowed to vote if they don't have I.D. that shows their street addresses. Ever since they won the right to vote, they were promised they could vote using I.D. that showed their P.O. box, since many live on the reservation and don't have street addresses. The country's never made Native Americans a promise it didn't go on break. So ... it's almost like America made a promise to break every promise it made them. Now's not the time to set up paradoxes, Clyde.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-18 American 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-18 Pub. Date: 2018-09-18
Image Number: 174073
Caption: The President said his response to the Puerto Rico hurricane was an incredible unsung success. It turns our about as many people died because of the hurricane as died on 9/11. And most of them died in the weeks after the hurricane had passed. He could've done a lot more to save those Americans. I still don't see how this is proof the large Hadron collider shifted us into an antonym universe where words mean the opposite of what they meant in our original universe. In the antonymverse, that means you do see it.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-28 American 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-28 Pub. Date: 2018-08-28
Image Number: 173789
Caption: Armed guards were everywhere. I couldn't take a chance. So I hid and interviewed the Central American toddler refugee from there. What's your name? Nuq oh Pongllj'e? Where are you from? NuqDaq DaDab? So what did the little boy say? Nothing. I'd accidentally set my translate app to Klingon.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-04 American 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-04 Pub. Date: 2018-07-04
Image Number: 172689
Caption: "What, to the American slave, is your fourth of July? I answer: A day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him, your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sounds of rejoicing are empty and heartless." - Frederick Douglass. "Where's my beer?" John Q. Public.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-02 American 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-02 Pub. Date: 2018-07-02
Image Number: 172687
Caption: Dick, can you get met the "Ask Shadie Show" metrics and then get Sadie Cohen on the phone? Can't ma'am. This is America. Don't use the metric system. Doesn't pay to appear un-American in there perilous times. Get to work, Dick. You'll thank me when "they" don't come for you.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-31 American 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-31 Pub. Date: 2018-05-31
Image Number: 171948
Caption: The state deleted me from the voter rolls because I supposedly registered at a bunch of different addresses under similar names … so I spent all day tracking down Leroy Braun, Lamarr Boyd, La-Keysha Barnes, Lavert Ballard and Lalo Bustamante. What the … them ain't similar names. That's what Labeeb Bashir said when we tracked down him and Leela Bang. I sense a pattern, bruh. We're all marching to the state building once we find Lalamika Babangida.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-30 American 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-30 Pub. Date: 2018-05-30
Image Number: 171947
Caption: They removed me from the voter rolls too, Lemont. It's called vote caging. Yeah … This sort of thing happens to me all the time. In 2000, they said I couldn't vote because I was a convicted felon. But I wasn't. In 2004, all the voting machines at my precinct mysteriously failed, and then they said the paper ballots had been eaten by wild rabbits. In 2016, they said I was 3/8th of an inch shorter than my driver's license showed. I believe I warned you not to fib about that.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-29 American 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-29 Pub. Date: 2018-05-29
Image Number: 171946
Caption: Hello, you've reached the Secretary of State's office. This is Ryan. How may I hinder you? I just checked, and I've been un-registered from the voter rolls. I see. We can fix that. What's your name and address? Lemont Brown. 1739 Sojourner Way, Candorville. Oh, yes Mr. Lemont Brown. It appears you tried to commit voter fraud. You registered at numerous addresses. What?! No I didn't! You're registered as a Leroy Braun over on Peebles Street ... Lamarr Boyd over on Tubman Parkway ... those people aren't me!! So you admit it, Le-Keysha Barnes?
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-13 American 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-13 Pub. Date: 2018-05-13
Image Number: 171106
Caption: Dear Jerk … I am offended by your article where you wrote that getting offended is America's new national pastime. I've angrily shown it to all of my friends, after first telling them that what they were about to se was offensive … and each of them agreed with me that it was jut as repugnant as I insisted it was. they all now despise you with a passion, just as I had told them they would before they've ever heard of you. Dear sir or ma'am: I'm not sure your polling methodology is scientifically sound. On behalf of all Americans, I demand an apology, a retraction, and a public flogging. Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-23 American 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-23 Pub. Date: 2018-04-23
Image Number: 170819
Caption: Starbucks HQ. Can I help you? I'm Lemont Brown, with Candorville.com. I have an appointment to interview your CEO about how one of your stores had two black men arrested for doing what white people do all the time. Are you sure you don't have an appointment with our black COO? She's the on our PR guys say should handle this. I'm sure. Oh, I'm also gonna ask him about the other store that didn't let the black guy use the bathroom 'cause he's black. I really think you should speak with our black COO.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-22 American 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-22 Pub. Date: 2018-04-22
Image Number: 170147
Caption: Here we have a fabulous, publicly owned power grid. It served an island that was home to 3 million American citizens, until it was devastated by a natural disaster. Bidding starts at $3 billion. $3 billion! $4 billion! We have $4 billion. $4 billion going once ... $4 billion going twice ... Sold, to the gentleman from Foreignvania, for $4 billion! Is this the room where they're auctioning off Captain Picard's flute for Star Trek? You want the Macarthur Ballroom. 3rd floor. Here we have a fabulous-but-devastated public education system ...
     
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