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Candorville

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-27 advertising 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-27 Pub. Date: 2019-10-27
Image Number: 180026
Caption: $12 for bottled water?! Haven't you been watching the news? American's aging pipes are leaching chemicals into the water that cause horrific illnesses. The entire city of Flint was poisoned by led, leading to developmental damage in children and probably causing an outbreak of Legionnaires' Disease. All bottled water is tested for lead. But ours is special. It's guaranteed to be 100% free of certain other chemicals too. Out bottled water is also 100% free of adamantium, NTH metal, vibranium, kryptonite and dilithium. No other bottled water on the market makes that claim. Just give me coffee. Regular or guaranteed aniumanium-free? Very bad man.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-02 advertising 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-02 Pub. Date: 2019-10-02
Image Number: 179727
Caption: I saw your free wi-fi sign. Yes, it's free for customers. False advertising! If I have to BUY something, it's not free! Ok. The password is buysomethingorgetout. Is that uppercase or lower?
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-25 advertising 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-25 Pub. Date: 2019-09-25
Image Number: 179619
Caption: Clyde, how would you feel about composing music for commercials? What? Well, our in-house composer just perished in a freak Beluga whale accident, so … we're hiring. Who we is? You've known me since we were six … you don't … you don't even care what I do for a living, do you? Since when do not havin' no interest in somethin' mean a person don't care?
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-18 advertising 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-18 Pub. Date: 2019-09-18
Image Number: 179500
Caption: Mr. Fitzhugh, I'm not happy about the change you made to my Slim-Swift ad. It's deceptive. Nonsense. Yayle. CEO of the Year 2002. Slim-Swift has not been proven to cause any weight loss at all. And? You write Lose ten pounds in five seconds. Cash is surprisingly heavy, Garcia.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-22 advertising 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-22 Pub. Date: 2019-06-22
Image Number: 178165
Caption: Sir, what do you mean you restored the YouTube ad budget? I canceled that because our ads were running on white supremacist videos, and not on anti white-supremacist videos! We don't discriminate against minorities, Garcia. Not even against bigot-Americans. They're not a minority! That's it. I'm sending you to insensitivity training.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-21 advertising 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-21 Pub. Date: 2019-06-21
Image Number: 178164
Caption: We cut our ad budget for YouTube because of all the hate for hate of hate content. You … what? Well, first they demonetized a few bigots and white supremacists so our ads wouldn't run on their filth. We thought that was fine. But then they also demonetizes people who made videos opposing those bigots. As if both sides were equally bad. I'm so tired of both-side-ism ... on both sides. Stop that.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-20 advertising 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-20 Pub. Date: 2019-06-20
Image Number: 178163
Caption: When are they going to impeach President Trump already? I'm so over all this. Hey … Better be careful. Doesn’t your ad agency handle government accounts? It's just you and me, here … and our cellphones. And drones. And parabolic receivers. And a government that uses all of them ... and snooping neighbors. As I said, impeachment is totally unnecessary and wrong. What was that?
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-29 advertising 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-29 Pub. Date: 2019-05-29
Image Number: 177795
Caption: Guess who walked into the offices of Fitzhugh, Fitzhugh & Fitzhugh today? The national security adviser. He said Military-Industrial Death Empire Corp is looking for help marketing their new product, Iran War. This is a big coup for us. McMahon, Tate & Stephens has been handling their advertising ever since the Spanish-American War. Congratulations.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-24 advertising 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-24 Pub. Date: 2019-05-24
Image Number: 177720
Caption: Boss … Armstrong … I created a Trump Generator. You input questions, and it outputs random nouns and adverbs strung together with words like fantastic. I put it onling a few days ago, and already it's getting 500,000 visitors per day. I guess what I'm asking is, why do all Trump's answers all of a sudden end with Visit House of Jave Cafe. It's tremendous. It's run by a very smart man named Armstrong. I have no idea what you're talking aboutk. By the way, did you know Russian hackers are suprisingly cheap on Craigslist? Very bad man.!!!
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-14 advertising 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-14 Pub. Date: 2019-04-14
Image Number: 177112
Caption: I'm only 5,000 donors short. What? What're you talking about, Clyde? Did you know the Democratic party changed they debate rules, bruh? All a brother need is to be at 1% in the polls, have 65,000 unique donors, an' 200 unique donors per state from at least 20 states. An' did you know there ain't no law at all against changin' your legal name to Bernie Sanderz and settin' up a donate to Bernie Sanderz website? Also, ain't no law against sayin' Buy my new album on iTunes in answer to ever debate question. I've got a strange feeling of deja vu about this. Don't worry. I'm sure I won't actually win.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-31 advertising 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-31 Pub. Date: 2019-01-31
Image Number: 176034
Caption: Dick Fink is such a jerk. He suggested I pitch Aristotle as a celebrity spokesman to Smarty-Smart Genius Brain Academy. Aristotle was wrong so often. If I'd taken Dick Rink's advice, I'd have looked like an ignoramus. Which I'm sure was Dick Fink's plan. So I pitched it my way. They loved it. it went viral. It's a really funny ad campaign about how the desire to correct Aristotle's goofy ideas was the foundation of modern science. Kind of like how your desire to sabotage Dick Fink's sabotage is the foundation of your best ad campaigns.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-29 advertising 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-29 Pub. Date: 2019-01-29
Image Number: 176032
Caption: I'm sorry, Dick Fink. What was that you were saying about Aristotle? I was saying, he'd be a great spokesman for an ad campaign. You should pitch it to that big client you just landed. Smarty-smart genius brain academy? Exactly. What would impress them more than an entire campaign based on the wisest philosopher in history? Aristotle was a moron ... are you trying to sabotage me? You're scolding me. Aristotle said women were more apt to scold.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-21 advertising 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-21 Pub. Date: 2018-11-21
Image Number: 175065
Caption: Dick, a friend of mine is sitting in a plane that's been stranded on the runway for six hours. We handle all the TSA's advertising. I knew they don't have authority over that, but … Say no more, Ms. Garcia. You want me to call them … and get your friend released from that plane by any means necessary. No, never mind. I'll call them myself. I'll tell them of his extensive travels in Syria.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-02 advertising 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-02 Pub. Date: 2018-10-02
Image Number: 174289
Caption: I'm the one who brought in all our dark money accounts, sir. Especially Judicial Jerkpac. They hired us to create ads polishing off the rough edges of their favorite judicial nominees. But Judge Groperman is accused of sexual assault. I'm not sure you're the right man for this one, Garcia. I'm just as capable as any man of abandoning my principles to defend lowlife scum. It's called being a professional You mean alleged lowlife scum.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-08 advertising 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-08 Pub. Date: 2018-08-08
Image Number: 173375
Caption: Dick, when you told me the Fitzhugh meeting was changed from the conference room to the laundromat across the street … Were you trying to make me miss the meeting? Of course not, Ms. Garcia. Advertising Executive of the Year. 2006. It was a simple mix-up. You do not suspect that I'm sabotaging you or that I want your job. Are you trying the Jedi mind trick on me? I may be excused.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-30 advertising 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-30 Pub. Date: 2018-07-30
Image Number: 173240
Caption: Dick, when I got to work today, everything in my office had been moved a few inches to the left. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you? I don't know what you mean, Ms. Garcia. You should like you're imagining things. Maybe you need to take some time off. I could take over your client list while you're recuperating. Just to help out. No, thanks, Dick. I'll be fine. You're excused. You sure? I could book you a relaxing cruise to Syria. Advertising Executive of the Year. 2006.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-19 advertising 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-19 Pub. Date: 2018-06-19
Image Number: 172355
Caption: twitter™ Twitter.comcandorville. @candorville - I read your article about the North Korea summit. I agree with you, the President didn't exactly make the best deal. He should've at least brought home some brand new heat resistant, gummy-flavored aluminum siding, as seen at tinyurl.com/c4eddh. The advertisers are getting sneakier and sneakier. That would have ensured world peace.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-16 advertising 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-16 Pub. Date: 2018-06-16
Image Number: 172217
Caption: This just in: A massive sinkhole just opened across the bridge in a suburb of Candorville. The ent … Click. One structure was spared obliteration: A local café that had advertised that one of its muffins contained a free-gas-for-life card. The entire town was there ... Click. Candorville's mayor, Ronald Thump, has closed the bridge, preventing sinkhole refugees from reaching. Click ... Gilligaaaan, the Skipper tooo ... the millionaire ... mun mun mun -
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-28 advertising 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-28 Pub. Date: 2018-05-28
Image Number: 171945
Caption: Would you be disappointed in me if I agreed to create an ad campaign for the NRA? Of course not. In fact, I have an idea. Why don't you do an ad about how the NRA saved us all from smart gun technology that would've made sure only authorized users could fire a gun. I mean, that tech alone would've prevented most school shooting. Thank got the NRA put a stop to that. I really hate sarcasm Mondays. We really dodged the dodge-a-bullet bullet thanks to them.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-09 advertising 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-09 Pub. Date: 2018-04-09
Image Number: 170409
Caption: In solidarity with those teens who survived the mass shooting, I've decided to stop accepting any NRA ads on my website. That's complicated by the fact they don't run any ads on my site. I thought of advertising my site on their site, so they'd notice me and try to advertise on my site ... and then I could turn them down. Walk away, Lemont. I'm just not sure it's the most ethical way to be ethical.
     
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