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The 500 Comic Strips

gathered from over thirty leading newspaper comic strips.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-31 500 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-31 Pub. Date: 2017-10-31
Image Number: 164416
Caption: Someday we'll develop a telescope powerful enough to see other worlds. That's setting ourselves up for heartache. You know what I mean? No. But I bet you'll geeksplain it to me. Imagine we fall in love with a cute alien panda-bunny we see bouncing through trees on a planet that's 500 light years away. That means we're seeing what it did 500 years ago, That means it's dead now. See? You did it. You owe me $2. That's not how bets work. I bet it is.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-24 500 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-24 Pub. Date: 2017-10-24
Image Number: 164148
Caption: Hobbler Day Care. Saul Crusher speaking. Yeah, I'm Lemont Brown. Lionel's dad … Yeah, two-year-old Lionel. He told me you said he was "bad" because he didn't want to go to sleep at nap time. When you tell a kid so early in his life that he's "bad," it affects how he sees himself. I don't pay you $500 per week to ruin my baby boy's self-esteem. When I say "you're a bad caregiver," how does that feel? Imagine if you were only two.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-04 500 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-04 Pub. Date: 2017-09-04
Image Number: 162348
Caption: On today's Ask Sadie Show, I, Sadie Cohen, will discuss one topic: Hurricanes. We just suffered through the first "once-every-500-years" hurricane since the last "once-every-500-years" hurricane that happened just 12 years ago. My heart goes out to everyone who lost someone or something. And it also goes out to hurricanes like Harvey and Katrina, because this means war. Mother nature picked on the wrong species. Not sure who's worse: Donald Trump, Kim Jong Un, or Sadie Cohen. Wait ... she has a heart?
     
4. Comic Strip Greg Evans  Luann 2017-08-07 500 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2017-08-07 Pub. Date: 2017-08-07
Image Number: 160587
Caption: The Fuse is perfect for my lingerie party. I've done small ones, but this is my chance to finally get profitable! The deposit's $500? Yes. You must be glad Les reached out to you … It means so much. We've had some rough times … I haven't always been able to support him ... I try SO hard! But I have no help! No one gives me a break! Let me help you, Ann. Rip rip rip.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-09 500 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-09 Pub. Date: 2017-07-09
Image Number: 159560
Caption: Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Hello handsome Sadie, It's Timona here greeting you from Kiev, Ukraine. Yeah we are in great political turmoil right now, but I will let you in on a secret since we are old friends. Now is the best time for to invest in the Ukraine real estate. In 2005, for inspect, a 71 sq. meter abode sold for $7,500 US Dollars. Today it sell for at only $1,100 US Dollars. Lovely school for to nearby, as well as charming Mall within walking distance with has all the conveniences. Keep this amazing opportunity quiet. I only tell YOU because of that time we made that amazing connection. You friend, Timona. Click here for to house buy. Excellent questions. I get letters like this all the time ever since I publicly announced my email address. It reminds me of the time I hired a 17-year-old nerd to track down a spammer's true IP address, name, birthdate, physical address, and bank account number ... and shipped the spammer two tons of manure purchased with his entire life savings. It cost me a vinyl record, a Mountain Dew and a crate of Cheetos, but it was worth it. Ask Sadie a question (but be careful) at asksadie@rudypark.com.
     
6. Comic Strip Mike Peters  Mother Goose and Grimm 2017-06-11 500 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mother Goose and Grimm
Viewable Date: 2017-06-11 Pub. Date: 2017-06-11
Image Number: 158434
Caption: Gentlemen, start your engines! Pat pat pat pat pat … Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr … rrr
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-21 500 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-21 Pub. Date: 2017-05-21
Image Number: 157604
Caption: I'm tired of people complaining about how the coral reefs have pretty much died off. I mean yeah, a huge variety of fish and other sealife rely on the coral reefs. And yeah, about 500 million people in turn depend on that sealife for food, jobs and recreation. But it's not mankind's fault those sea creatures decided to sponge off the hard work of the polyps that made all the coral. Wait ... what? ... and it's not our fault that 500 million people didn't think ahead and get real jobs instead of sponging off welfare fish. Besides, marine habitats are something better left to private industry. If the fish really want vast expanses of underwater limestone shelters, let them buy it on the free market like the rest of us. Besides, I was just wasting my time with all those snorkeling vacations. I should've been working. You're just trying to make yourself feel better. Newsweak.
     
8. Comic Strip Brian Walker Greg Walker Mort Walker  Beetle Bailey 2017-05-19 500 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Walker Greg Walker Mort Walker
Comic/Cartoon: Beetle Bailey
Viewable Date: 2017-05-19 Pub. Date: 2017-05-19
Image Number: 157855
Caption: Wow, Otto! This says dogs can smell their owners a mile away! Is that true? Why not? I can smell you in my dreams when I'm on vacation 500 miles away.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-05 500 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-05 Pub. Date: 2017-05-05
Image Number: 157562
Caption: Boss … Armstrong … I created a "Trump Generator." You input questions, and it outputs random nouns and adverbs strung together with words like "fantastic." I put it online a few days ago, and already it's getting 500,000 visitors per day. I guess what I'm asking is, why do all Trump's answers all of a sudden end with "visit House of Java Cafe, it's tremendous. It's run by a very smart man named Armstrong." I have no idea what you're talking about. By the way, did you know Russian hackers are surprisingly cheap on Craigslist? Very bad man!!!
     
10. Comic Strip Alex Hallatt  Arctic Circle 2017-04-03 500 
Cartoonist(s): Alex Hallatt
Comic/Cartoon: Arctic Circle
Viewable Date: 2017-04-03 Pub. Date: 2017-04-03
Image Number: 156228
Caption: We've bought an emergency bunker. With 500 other crazy preppers? A little after doomsday … Aren't you glad we bought into this prepper community now? Not as glad as they are. Fred food!
     
11. Comic Strip Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-03-31 500 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-03-31 Pub. Date: 2017-03-31
Image Number: 155977
Caption: When you sent me to Louis Vuitton, did you know their wallets cost $500? Please tell me you didn't make a scene. Of course not. They sent me to JC Penney where I got a perfectly good wallet for $25. When it comes to wallets … I'd rather have cash than cachet.
     
12. Comic Strip John Hambrock  The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee 2016-12-02 500 
Cartoonist(s): John Hambrock
Comic/Cartoon: The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee
Viewable Date: 2016-12-02 Pub. Date: 2016-12-02
Image Number: 151442
Caption: Well, Pat, the wheel's been good to me. I think I'll spin one more time. $0 $58,000 $0 $800 $100 $500 $600 $200 $1000. Click click. Bankrupt. Noooooooooo. At least you still have your ceramic dog from the round one.
     
13. Comic Strip John Deering  Strange Brew 2016-10-26 500 
Cartoonist(s): John Deering
Comic/Cartoon: Strange Brew
Viewable Date: 2016-10-26 Pub. Date: 2016-10-26
Image Number: 150214
Caption: Subzero Freezers. 3,000.00. $2,500, I thought this was supposed to be affordable housing.
     
14. Comic Strip Jim Toomey  Sherman's Lagoon 2016-10-20 500 
Cartoonist(s): Jim Toomey
Comic/Cartoon: Sherman's Lagoon
Viewable Date: 2016-10-20 Pub. Date: 2016-10-20
Image Number: 149735
Caption: It's a special night for us. Let's get some champagne. Good idea. We want something classy. Our wine list, sir. Hmmm … I don't recognize any of these. Which one were they spraying around at the Indy 500? I regret I missed that event, sir.
     
15. Comic Strip John Deering  Strange Brew 2016-09-30 500 
Cartoonist(s): John Deering
Comic/Cartoon: Strange Brew
Viewable Date: 2016-09-30 Pub. Date: 2016-09-30
Image Number: 149047
Caption: For President of Undead. Ask yourselves: "Am I better off now than I was 500 years ago?"
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-22 500 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-22 Pub. Date: 2016-09-22
Image Number: 148782
Caption: I just got off the phone with all your creditors, Rudy. How'd it go? You owe a total of $148,000. I got that total reduced by 70%, so now you only owe $44,400. That means with the debt consolidation loan I've given you, you'll pay me 72 monthly payments of $1,500. That comes to like $108,000 not $44,400. You're welcome.
     
17. Comic Strip Mike Peters  Mother Goose and Grimm 2016-09-09 500 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mother Goose and Grimm
Viewable Date: 2016-09-09 Pub. Date: 2016-09-09
Image Number: 147929
Caption: There's a pizza delivery guy and a cop at the door Monopoly. He said you paid off your pizza bill with counterfeit money. Nonsense, it's real. Here, just give him a $500 tip.
     
18. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2016-07-09 500 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2016-07-09 Pub. Date: 2016-07-09
Image Number: 145320
Caption: We have a problem. I talk, but you just hear what you want to hear. But I have a solution. It's called "two can play at this game." What's that supposed to mean? What's that? Why, yes! I'd love to go on a $500 shopping spree at Macy's! Thank you!
     
19. Comic Strip Jay Stephens Bob Weber, Jr.  Oh, Brother! 2011-06-21 500 
Cartoonist(s): Jay Stephens Bob Weber, Jr.
Comic/Cartoon: Oh, Brother!
Viewable Date: 2016-07-06 Pub. Date: 2011-06-21
Image Number: 62248
Caption: There's so much out there! I wish I could see it all! Me too! Let's bug dad for the 500-channel premium package!
     
20. Comic Strip Dan Piraro  Bizarro 2016-06-20 500 
Cartoonist(s): Dan Piraro
Comic/Cartoon: Bizarro
Viewable Date: 2016-06-20 Pub. Date: 2016-06-20
Image Number: 144614
Caption: "Heavily Perfumed People in Shorts" for $500, please, Alex. Dave. Barb. Larry. Mosquito Jeopardy!
     
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