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281.  
Cartoonist(s): Rina Piccolo
Comic/Cartoon: Tina's Groove
Viewable Date: 2009-10-29 Pub. Date: 2009-10-29
Image Number: 40197
Caption: That couple at the booth told me they're only giving me a 5% tip because I've made such horrendous mistakes. So why are you looking so smug? Because I've just calculated their bill … five percent of 789,000 dollars turns out to be a tidy little sum!
For Republication: Books, Magazines, Newsletters, Presentations, Web Sites
For eCard: Send
For Newspapers: King Features
     
282.  
Cartoonist(s): Nina Paley
Comic/Cartoon: Fluff
Viewable Date: 2009-10-28 Pub. Date: 1998-03-12
Image Number: 1467
Caption: Toxic Waste Bad. Not in My Backyard. Baby Alligators Against Toxic Waste. You don't understand what a great opportunity this is! It's simple economics! It has to stay buried for a million years, so if we charge just 5 dollars a year, we clear five million dollars! It's like winning the lottery! I gotta get him into my casino,
For Republication: Books, Magazines, Newsletters, Presentations, Web Sites
For Merchandise: Store For eCard: Send
For Newspapers: Nina Paley
     
283.  
Cartoonist(s): John Hambrock
Comic/Cartoon: The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee
Viewable Date: 2009-10-22 Pub. Date: 2009-10-22
Image Number: 39805
Caption: This weather-predictor thingy you sold me said sunny and unseasonably warm today. Thanks for nothing! You could've paid the extra five dollars for the umbrella attachment, ya know!
For Republication: Books, Magazines, Newsletters, Presentations, Web Sites
For eCard: Send
For Newspapers: King Features
     
284.  
Cartoonist(s): Rick Kirkman
Jerry Scott
Comic/Cartoon: Baby Blues
Viewable Date: 2009-10-22 Pub. Date: 2009-10-22
Image Number: 39846
Caption: Zoe! You signed us up for FIVE volunteer projects?? Yeah. Sweetie, we can't do that all in one month! I know that. Good. It all has to be done Saturday.
For Republication: Books, Magazines, Newsletters, Presentations, Web Sites
For eCard: Send
For Newspapers: King Features
     
285.  
Cartoonist(s): Kieran Meehan
Comic/Cartoon: Pros & Cons
Viewable Date: 2009-10-18 Pub. Date: 2009-10-18
Image Number: 39338
Caption: You shall go to the state penitentiary for five years. Hold on! I've just thought of something. If I had been given a fraction of the money spent on solving my crime, tracking me down, arresting, interrogating and charging me. Putting me on trial in front of a jury of my peers. Finding me guilty and sending me to prison for five years ... I'd never have broken the law in the first place. Ironic, isn't it?
For Republication: Books, Magazines, Newsletters, Presentations, Web Sites
For eCard: Send
For Newspapers: King Features
     
286.  
Cartoonist(s): Chris Browne
Comic/Cartoon: Hagar The Horrible
Viewable Date: 2009-09-24 Pub. Date: 2009-09-24
Image Number: 38696
Caption: When I get home from a raid, I love to here Helga say those romantic "three little words." I'm home, Helga! What did you bring me? That's five words!!
For Republication: Books, Magazines, Newsletters, Presentations, Web Sites
For eCard: Send
For Newspapers: King Features
     
287.  
Cartoonist(s): Rick Kirkman
Jerry Scott
Comic/Cartoon: Baby Blues
Viewable Date: 2009-09-17 Pub. Date: 2009-09-17
Image Number: 38458
Caption: Mo-o-m! Hammie is … … Um, number three, number five and probably nine through twelve! Okay, I'll handle it. A tattle menu?? You wouldn't believe how much time it saves.
For Republication: Books, Magazines, Newsletters, Presentations, Web Sites
For eCard: Send
For Newspapers: King Features
     
288.  
Cartoonist(s): Sam Hurt
Comic/Cartoon: Queen of the Universe
Viewable Date: 2009-09-13 Pub. Date: 1990-12-30
Image Number: 38032
Caption: What's the matter, Peaches? Look at this stuff, Kareem … Urban Assault. Suzy oven … I spent months burning with desire for each of these toys - Sleepless nights of obsessive craving … And now, five and a half days of play has used them completely up … Converted them from wondrous playthings into mere objects. The act of possessing them drained them of their magic ... When? When will I learn that physical possessions are hollow shells ... empty promises? I know what you mean. It's like when I first got my skateboard, I - You got a skateboard?
For Republication: Books, Magazines, Newsletters, Presentations, Web Sites
For Merchandise: Store For eCard: Send
For Newspapers: Formerly Syndicated
     
289.  
Cartoonist(s): Dave Coverly
Comic/Cartoon: Speed Bump
Viewable Date: 2009-09-03 Pub. Date: 2009-09-03
Image Number: 38124
Caption: Ah, old age … I'll bet I came out of hibernation five or six times last winter to use the woods!
For Republication: Books, Magazines, Newsletters, Presentations, Web Sites
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For Newspapers: Creator's Syndicate
     
290.  
Cartoonist(s): Sam Hurt
Comic/Cartoon: Queen of the Universe
Viewable Date: 2009-08-25 Pub. Date: 1990-12-11
Image Number: 37241
Caption: Hey, Uncle Ratliff … Could I have five dollars to go to the movies? Sigh. Bills, bills, bills. Tell you what, Peaches, here's $1.75 … Go down to the corner grocery, have an ice cream sandwich, and play some video games … I'll sure be glad when the grownups get finished with this silly recession stage they're going through ... Laser Dragon. Bleep bleep zoing. Zing sprack.
For Republication: Books, Magazines, Newsletters, Presentations, Web Sites
For Merchandise: Store For eCard: Send
For Newspapers: Formerly Syndicated
     
291.  
Cartoonist(s): Sam Hurt
Comic/Cartoon: Queen of the Universe
Viewable Date: 2009-08-24 Pub. Date: 1990-12-10
Image Number: 37240
Caption: Behold, Kareem, science in progress. Suzy chemistry. The awesome forces of nature concentrated and directed by mankind's intellect to bring into being new substances with properties never before thought possible … Wow. In this case, five year bubble gum. Truly the cutting edge in software technology ...
For Republication: Books, Magazines, Newsletters, Presentations, Web Sites
For Merchandise: Store For eCard: Send
For Newspapers: Formerly Syndicated
     
292.  
Cartoonist(s): Kieran Meehan
Comic/Cartoon: Pros & Cons
Viewable Date: 2009-08-21 Pub. Date: 2009-08-21
Image Number: 37522
Caption: I'm going to regress you back to your childhood. Back to when you were just five years old. Sniff! Ooh, I'm fwitened! I haven't started yet. Oh.
For Republication: Books, Magazines, Newsletters, Presentations, Web Sites
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For Newspapers: King Features
     
293.  
Cartoonist(s): Kieran Meehan
Comic/Cartoon: Pros & Cons
Viewable Date: 2009-08-11 Pub. Date: 2009-08-11
Image Number: 37178
Caption: Do you recognize your attacker? He looks like number five, but it can't be. Why not? The man who attacked me was holding a number three.
For Republication: Books, Magazines, Newsletters, Presentations, Web Sites
For eCard: Send
For Newspapers: King Features
     
294.  
Cartoonist(s): John Deering
Comic/Cartoon: Strange Brew
Viewable Date: 2009-08-10 Pub. Date: 2009-08-10
Image Number: 37191
Caption: My time machine works; It took us back to the cretaceous period, so I win our bet! So why don't you have to pay me five bucks?!
For Republication: Books, Magazines, Newsletters, Presentations, Web Sites
For Merchandise: Store For eCard: Send
For Newspapers: Creator's Syndicate
     
295.  
Cartoonist(s): Sam Hurt
Comic/Cartoon: Queen of the Universe
Viewable Date: 2009-08-08 Pub. Date: 1990-11-24
Image Number: 36735
Caption: Now, Peaches, I know you missed the verdict since it was during your naptime. Did we win? Makum, Peigh, & Goode. Personal injury attorneys … Sigh … The court ruled that you were libeled, but found no substantial damages … The award was nominal … Your half is ... twenty five dollars ...
For Republication: Books, Magazines, Newsletters, Presentations, Web Sites
For Merchandise: Store For eCard: Send
For Newspapers: Formerly Syndicated
     
296.  
Cartoonist(s): Kieran Meehan
Comic/Cartoon: Pros & Cons
Viewable Date: 2009-08-07 Pub. Date: 2009-08-07
Image Number: 36937
Caption: Things look bad, Mr. Rhodes. Maybe we should accept the D.A.'s offer and change my plea to guilty. Her "deal" will see you languishing in prison for a minimum of five years. Not to mention what that smirk on her face will do to me!
For Republication: Books, Magazines, Newsletters, Presentations, Web Sites
For eCard: Send
For Newspapers: King Features
     
297.  
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-22 Pub. Date: 2009-07-22
Image Number: 36429
Caption: In other news, a government jet was lost today when it accidentally flew straight up instead of horizontal for five hours. Officials suspect the pilot may have been distracted because he was text messaging. I told you, we're fine. We're exactly where we need to be to rescue your journalist. See? I'd know the white sands of the Iranian desert anywhere. Nuts. Foompsh.
For Republication: Books, Magazines, Newsletters, Presentations, Web Sites
For Merchandise: Store For eCard: Send
For Newspapers: Washington Post Writers Group
     
298.  
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2009-07-05 Pub. Date: 2009-07-05
Image Number: 35489
Caption: The decline of a diet. Day one. From now on, I'm only eating healthy snacks. Like apples! Day two. Just adding a bit of cinnamon and sugar to my apple. Day three. Hey, it's 95% apple! Day four. Apple pie is mostly apple, you know. Day five. It's apple strudel ice cream. It has bits of real apple!
For Republication: Books, Magazines, Newsletters, Presentations, Web Sites
For Merchandise: Store For eCard: Send
For Newspapers: Universal Press
     
299.  
Cartoonist(s): Jim Toomey
Comic/Cartoon: Sherman's Lagoon
Viewable Date: 2009-06-29 Pub. Date: 2009-06-29
Image Number: 35634
Caption: Looks like the annual 5k charity beach run is coming up in a few days. I tried that once. It just causes too much pain. I actually get blisters when I do it. Running? Charity.
For Republication: Books, Magazines, Newsletters, Presentations, Web Sites
For eCard: Send
For Newspapers: King Features
     
300.  
Cartoonist(s): Chris Browne
Comic/Cartoon: Hagar The Horrible
Viewable Date: 2009-06-28 Pub. Date: 2009-06-28
Image Number: 35236
Caption: Rattle! Rattle! Thump! What in the world is he doing up so early? Bump! It's seven a.m. and you got to bed at five!! You just can't go on like this, Hagar! Why are you up so early? I have an appointment. Are you leaving to sack England? No. Do you have to see a doctor? No. Or a dentist? No. Helga ... Have you seen my golf clubs?
For Republication: Books, Magazines, Newsletters, Presentations, Web Sites
For eCard: Send
For Newspapers: King Features
     
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